beyond my means

The feeling SUCKS when you cannot help a friend when something is gravely troubling him. The only thing I could do is to give him advice, trying to at least alleviate his foul mood. But it seemed that he no longer is as open and willing to confide in me anymore. I am more than willing to be your listening ear! I could tell that lotsa stuff is bottled up within you and I wanted you to air it out so that you could feel better. Never did I expect such a defensive and uninterested reaction from you, to turn down my concern and keep mum. The short answers, the patronized responses, and the repeated actions just revealed your highly unsatisfactory outlook of your life. I felt defeated when all that I can do is to watch you in a really bad mood and can't even say what I'd like you to hear with regard to the situation with your closed heart. When I saw you finally tried to vent out your anger by drawing the word you wouldn't have wanted to use, my instinct told me that I must stop you from keeping quiet and must ask you to voice out, at least say a few words. I hope the touch could mend our broken and 'unstable' bond between us so that the free channel of communication could be restored. I am sorry that I am not vocal, neither am I critical in my thinking to try to enlighten you how this is just a small matter compared to other more pertinent issues in life. Hence my inability to unload the weight off your shoulders. To be honest, the moment I saw what you were scribbling, my heartbeat rate rose and, if you noticed, my voice trembled when trying to advise you. Your treatment towards me and your dejected self worried me and so I did what I could best do. And I hope the mates you always hang out with nowadays won't be labelled as 'instigator(s)' [they definitely won't if your impulse doesn't get the better of you]; do not do things without thorougly thinking through the consequences everyone would face. They could be painful and long-lasting. I think my point is don't learn or be easily influenced and convinced by what your mates say. Some people, due to their complex combination of voice, tone and expression, inter alia, would turn out to have high Persuasion Quotient. Be rational, seek advice from people who have more experiences in life to better manage and resolve difficult issues. All in all, I just wish to see you happy and satisfied. It's the last phase already, don't live with regrets. Perhaps anger management is what everyone needs to learn. I always think that seeking the proper channel to raise up issues should be done, not any own 'creative' methods. Life is not fair, we all need to live with it. Remember, there're usually always both plus and minus aspects in any given context; my point is sieve out all bad influences and only learn the beneficial things, including when mixing with friends. I don't want to feel hurt, so don't give yourself chances to feel hurt.

p.s.: i realized i have changed writing from second-person to first-person unknowlingly halfway.