rambling

FINALLY, 1st Mar 2008 is gone and my suffering is over!
Overall, I would say BYG 2008 was a success despite the many obstacles we met while preparing for this event.
Sales of tickets 4 days before the actual performance was only a pathetic 25%. Yet, by the end of the performances, the sales was beyond 90%! Isn't that incredible? Unbelievable?! Even me need some time to accept the exponential increase in the sales of the tickets in the last week. I vaguely remembered that 9 days before the actual performance, the sales was really bad - a mere 10%. 5 days later, it slightly went up to 25%. By then, the teachers were damn worried about the sales.
And I was blamed for not being worried, or rather never show to people that I was really worried. My first reaction was: WHAT? Ask me to act and pretend that I was worried about the sales? I hate hypocrites and I would NEVER do such hypocritical acts in my life! I am not obligated to do this. And I was told that by not being worried about the sales, I sort of cause the teachers to be insulted when I looked as if nothing serious had happened.
I do embrace the logic behind it but sadly, I do feel sorry for this reality in life. Sometimes we have to pretend a bit, be hypocritical for a while, all because of the outcome we desire to happen. We can't be like how kids are like, or rather how we were like when we were still small little children, when we could express whatever we felt at any moment and forget about it after a short while.

Regarding the bad sales initially, I do have to be partly responsible for it, but definitely not all, not even most. Sales of tickets require ALL of us to work hard upon, to boost the selling of tickets. It is ridiculous that a group leader is the only one to be blamed for the poor sales. I understand that it is inevitable for people to throw their comments on me regarding the sales performance but I don't give a damn, because my principle is that ALL should work hard to sell their tickets and ALL should be blamed if sales is not up to the minimal expectations.
[I'm glad that my blog gives me the channel to express what I wanna say, especially my principle on this issue, as there won't be anyone who will listen to me rambling about it.]

The problem of 'saving face' can actually turn someone into another person. One will become so worried and anxious that he becomes very agitated when talking to the person who is deemed to cause a particular incident.
I saw the ugly side of human being. It is really ugly, and scary. I detest it to the core.

I was told that I have disppointed people. I have not lived up to their expectations. Regarding the issue of expectations, I am not at all interested. Expectations are what people set for you and it has nothing to do with the person whether he/she has met the expectations. As long as I have no regrets and conscience is clear, things are fine. I don't aim to live up to any people's expectations. There is, of course, a small generalisation I've made when stating the former sentence. I will still work very hard not to disappoint my loved ones - family, ... ... ... for they are most special to me and they are not those ugly people who I will meet in the outside world.

Spent quite some time here grumbling... I intended to upload some photos but well, it's time for me to sleep. So next time ba... ...

I need $$$$$. Broke... =\
On the bright side, my constellation sign - Aquarius - states that I will be spending quite alot of $ this month, but it is all for exchanging with things that are valuable to me, something that can last for a long time. So it's worth it. =)