Wasn't feeling too happy for the past week. Well, it's just another friendship problem I face; he's someone whom I thought is a good friend who is understanding and empathetic enough to know how I feel. He once asked me if I feel insecure for knowing myself more than I thought he knows about me, and I answered I am, on the contrary, very happy. That was the kind of intimate relationship I'd like to build, and sustain. But I guess life is a journey of obstacles and setbacks for us to tackle and resolve, perhaps only through these do we glorify our existence and relationship with God.
How would you feel if your good friend hurts you twice due to a same particular issue? For the first time, since he apologized and I understood why he did that, I forgave him, and we became like how we were like before the incident. But how about the second time? Especially when it's regarding the same exact kind of incident again. Even if he apologized again, do you forgive him still? Defintely, it won't be as easy as the first time. You'd doubt his sincerity in his apology. You'd wonder will there be a third time. You'd ponder if he is the kind of friend whom you should still befriend with.
My brain says NO but my heart says otherwise. The voice of my heart seems to be louder than that of my brain. At the same time, my brain seems to be more determined than my heart. Argh! Why am I tormented with such issue? Didn't I used to be insouciant and lighthearted?
Part of me has told myself to just forget it (that doesn't mean forgiveness is granted), There's no use, nor anybody cares (I think), mulling over it. We will still see each other and work together. Life has to go on. Let nature takes its course. Let Him guide me through this yet another experience.
How I assuage my grief: Those who matter don't mind; those who mind don't matter.
Ciao for now for I'll be leaving for
Will be back on 27th this month :]
