Wizard World

ISP Vietnam Dec 2011

2012-01-05T22:52:00.003+08:00

It had always been a dream of mine to go on a mission trip and I'm glad I had realised it before the end of 2011. I sincerely want to contribute to making this world a better place for us to live in. The divide between the rich and poor is ever increasing. Within myself, there is a calling for which I know I want to serve - I want to be an active global citizen and help spread the love to the less privileged.

Supposedly, I and a friend of mine had wanted to join this international service trip together. Due to mum's fear of her child suffering hardship, my friend withdrew, and I was expected to go without a friend. Things didn't turn out too bad just because I knew no one there as there are a few of the rest joined alone too. One said she simply wanted to join in this trip to help and so signed up for it while another wanted to get an experience of OCIP. Perhaps I should have known that the participants of this trip must be kind-hearted people, hence they joined. Duh.. So my initial worries of bring unable to make buddies during the trip since I was alone was redundant. The people are very friendly and I felt at ease with them.

Most of the participants are from business school. I had no idea why. 3 others are from my faculty. 1 from Chemical engineering. I shared a room with 2 others, both from business school, one in year 2 and another in year 3. So, being the youngest, they took good care of me. I am really thankful to them! For the first 10 days, I had no Vietnam dong with me as I had not changed my USD to dong, as such I couldn't buy anything whenever we had a supermarket break. My roomies were fast to let me know that they could lend me money first if I want to buy something, and reminded me not to stand on ceremony on this matter. Even though I was not prepared to accept their loan, I really appreciate their offer. My year 2 roomie even wanted to me to keep a note first in case I want to buy something but I returned to him as, well, I still find it embarrassing to accept his kind offer.

To add on to the list of my year 2 roomie's kindness, he peeled off the shell of a prawn for me because he knew that I was reluctant to dirty my hands peeling off the shell and would rather not eat the prawn. How did he know that? I told him frankly when he asked me why I did not eat the prawns. I did try to reject the peeled prawn when he offered me but I understood that he wouldn't allow me to reject it, so I ate the prawn he peeled for me. He asked me if the prawn tastes nice. I answered him that it tastes nice, of course, especially when it was peeled from a friend whom you spent only a few days with together and was willing to do something for you when he could just choose not to bother about this small matter.

Let me blog about what I did over at Dong Thap province, Cao Lanh city of Vietnam. From the information given to us, the suburban ward in which we lived in during the project period has an area of almost 830 hectares, populated with 11 000 people from 2 500 households. 43.4% of the housholds were considered poor. The people earned their living through agriculture and small business. Indeed, on our way to lunch, we had to walked 10 minutes and passed by households which are selling snacks and toys just outside their houses. I guessed that is how they earned extra penny.

On my first day in the class with the kids aged between 3 and 5, they welcomed us by showering us with generous kisses and passionate hugs! I was truly overwhelmed by their hospitality! One of them even aimed at my lips such that I had to move my face away and stop them from charging towards me with my arm stretched! Nonetheless, I was happy that they accepted us so readily and made us feel welcomed. They did a superb job on that! I had forgotten to mention that while we had learnt to say hello in Vientamese - Xin Chao, the kids were already repeatedly saying 'Hello!' to us before we stepped into the classrooms! We should bear in mind that Vietnamese only starts to learn English at Primary 3 and thus the kids totally had no English background. How enthusiastic they were to our visit!

Most of the time in the classroom, I would sit on the floor with the kids while one of us would teach them alphabets at the front of the classroom. The kids love to lie their heads on my laps or to sit in front of me when I sat cross-legged. I guess they were curious about us foreigners who would be visiting them for 7 school days. I am proud to say that my class is the only class that had successfully learnt all 26 letters and sang the ABC song out of the total 4 classes. Teaching them could be tiring but their enthusiastic response of repeating the letter after me kept me focused on teaching them and achieving our goals of teaching them the English alphabets.

Sadly, language barrier was a big obstacle. The kids were all enthusiastically telling me something but I do not understand at all, only able to patronize them with a nod and a smile when they finshed speaking. Luckily, hand signals are universal and kids do understand what we are trying to convey. So yea, hand signals are our main communication tool. For instance, during the time for the kids to play when class ended and were waiting for their parents to pick them up, some play ball and asked us to play with them. In a game of throwing a ball into a basket, we would use hand signal to ask them to stand further away from the basket before throwing, to increase the challenge and fun. They gladly follow what we asked them to, as they understood us.

Over there, I learnt a few Vietnames that are useful during class. For example, ngoi xuong means to sit down, do len means to speak louder and im lang means to keep quiet. Also, I learnt that in order to signal the kids to respond or to repeat what you had said, you must say "1, 2, 3" before they will respond, in Vietnamse of course. So "1, 2, 3" in Vietnamese is "Mot, hai, ba", and you can be assured of a response after saying that :) Besides, we learnt 2 Vietnamese kids songs and we sang with the kids. They were much better than us when it comes to singing these Vietnamese songs; the easiest line for me is "Mot hai ba, mot hai ba, mot hai ba bon nam sau bai", which means "1 2 3, 1 2 3, 1 2 3 4 5 6 7". It is not true that only we are teaching them, the kids teach us, or rather tried to teach us Vietnamese letters too from their workbook. We tried to joke with them by pointing to a tiger in the book, saying that it is "gong meow", which we know that it means cat in Vietnamese, and the kid would be enthusiastic to tell us it is not gong meow, and tell us the correct words which I could not remember. Haha...

Besides doing teaching, we are also involved in renovating classrooms. We did scraping of the old blue paint off the walls, repainted the walls with pink paint and cemented the gaps between the tiles with white cement. The construction could get boring at times but the kids were my motivation to keep myself going and try to meet our objectives of renovating 2 classrooms and constructing 1 new classroom. Really, what we can teach the kids is very limited due to language barrier. The classrooms are we could really contribute and they serve a greater purpose for the kids will be using them - a better learning environment for them. It is through the construction that we did something concrete for the kids, rather than teaching them ABC. Having said that, that does not mean the teaching is redundant for the kids do come towards me and read for me A - Z and 1 - 10 in English, just to interact with me. This shows that they learnt something from us too.

On the last day, the kids kissed us, again. I guessed this is how the kids show their hospitality and appreciation towards us. I must really thank the locals there for their acceptance of us to share our knowledge with them. What made me happiest is that my favourite kid kissed my forearm thrice when I sat beside him, purposely since he is my favourite, while attending the completion ceremony of the renovation and construction of classrooms. Hee! Kiss in Vietnamese is "hon". Ususally we would point our fingers to our face, asking the asking the kids to "hon" - trying to tell the kids to kiss our cheeks. But my favourite, without my "instigation", kissed my forearm, thrice! That would show that he appreciates me for being there, or maybe he knew that he is my favourite. That could be obvious given that I took pictures with him almost every day. Haha!

But, my favourite cried on our last day of seeing each other because he did not receive the gift from YMCA Vietnam as there are not enough gifts for all the kids. He stood still, not responding to whatever we do to make him smile. Moments later, a tear slid down his smooth cheek. I quickly wipe his tear away with my thumb across his cheek. I only wanted him to be happy and smile since it is the last day and last time that I would see him already. I wanted to buy something for him to make him feel better from not having to receive the gift. The problem was I had no dong then. Fortunately, my year 3 roomie was nearby and he passed me 20 000 dong to me so that I could buy some snacks for my favourite from the shop just outside the kindergarten. So i held his litte hand and led him to the shop, carried him up and tried to ask him to point to which snack he would like to have. I was relieved when he responded by stretching his arm out and pointed to me which snack he want. So eventually, I bought 2 snacks for him. Still, he did not smile but I was glad that he accepted my offer of wanting to cheer him up by signalling to me which snacks he want. I felt that he understood my kind intentions although unsure of whether he could understand the insufficient number of gifts to be distributed. Well, after all, he is still a kid. So it is perfectly normal for him to feel sad and cry over not receiving a gift. While there was one other kid who cried out loud, my favourite, surprisingly, stood there motionlessly and we could only tell that he was sad, too, by being in tears silently. Perhaps he is the kind of personality which would endure silently rather than making a big fuss over something he feels sad about.

I hope that there would be a day to come such that we could fly back and visit the kids again!

So there are people out there waiting for our assistance, in terms of living standards. It is not quality of life I am talking about. I feel that we ought to help whenever we could. It is a sad phenomenon when people are so engrossed in their pursuit of luxurious lifestyle and completely forget about fellow friends in low living standard conditions. Of course, this does not mean that being financially poor don't feel happy. In the same way, neither does having mountains of fortune necessary make one happy. The level of happiness and the figure in the bank account does not correlate. The point is that we all should have basic liveable condition and the rest is bonus.

Give wherever we can. You will find that actually we receive much more. :)

Macau

2011-11-25T16:26:00.004+08:00

So my parents have come back from their Macau/Hong Kong/Zhuhai, Guangdong province trip yesterday night. While they had been enjoying their trip for almost 5 days, I had finished 3 papers ~.~"

But they brought back Portuguese egg tarts!!! Lao po bing from Hong Kong and seafood from Zhuhai!!! among others... =DD

My dad was lucky. In a lucky draw he won a free night in a 6-star hotel! ;) My mum won $HK900 in the casino.. Lol~

In about 3 weeks, I'll be going Ho Chi Minh City for my first overseas service programme.. Not sure if I'll enjoy as my friend withdrew due to family objection. Oh well. That means I'll have to try to mingle with the rest, or I'll be a loner for 13 days! It'll be so sad if I have nobody as buddies for the entire trip, especially in the last 3 days of R&R.. Nevertheless, it'll be a meaningful trip yes :)

By the way, if you want to contribute towards school infrastructure building in Vietnam, I'm selling 5 bookmarks for $10 in an effort to raise funds for this project =)) Your contribution will make a difference :)

Alright, need to study =P
Forensic Science on Monday.
MAMA awards on Tuesday.
And finally last paper - Inorganic Chemistry - on Wednesday. For this, I'll be competing with scholars from China. The paper is set by a physical chemistry, which means formulae and mathematical manipulations are very important!

Good luck!

LUCK

2011-11-21T10:30:00.001+08:00

GOOD LUCK FOR FINALS!!!

Don't think so much. Put in your best efforts in each question.

Everything will be fine.

=)

那些年，我们一起追的女孩

2011-11-16T11:10:00.003+08:00

看了《那些年，我们一起追的女孩》。我想这部电影勾起了我们求学时代的回忆，才会让那么多人都喜欢这部台湾制作的电影。它使我心里有所感慨。

片中的一些台词让我印象深刻，如“其实我们做的很多事，倒头来都是徒劳无功的”，“世上真有一些梦想，不论你怎么努力，还是达不到的”。这令我领悟到原来很多事不是因为我们的坚持不懈就表示将来终究会有所获得。很多时候，是我们所抱的态度，即乐观、开朗、船到桥头自然直、有梦想就有希望，才使我们虽然心里清楚知道结果未必如所愿，却仍有勇往直前去奋斗的决心。

求学时代当然也少不了对某人有所喜欢，而电影的暧昧情节也牵起了大家各自的深刻回忆，不禁都会心一笑。本人也相当怀念国中的日子；那时是我们“小大人”初尝成为大人的滋味，变得有些叛逆，认为自己已经“长大”，可以为所欲为了。都怪好奇心作祟，我们都在想谈恋爱到底是什么样的滋味儿啊？的确，国中给予了我们寻找人生意义的机会，更是让我们体验到挑战失败的平台，我想这就是为何国中是一段令人难忘的时光。它教会了我们许多道理。

令我感到不解的是，以前的人不都较害羞吗，男女主角怎么都那么轻易地说出“我喜欢你”啊？难道不会感到害臊吗？尤其这是作者的真实故事，所以电影多数情节都在现实发生过。后来，我想是他们都拿得起，放得下；喜欢就喜欢，告诉对方心里的感受，并没什么大不了的。我非常欣赏他们的坦白，也对自己感到羞愧。

故事的最后，女主角并没和男主角在一起。我好想知道女主角到底是爱着她的新欢还是男主角。看来只有柯景腾才能知道，即如果他去问沈佳宜，而沈佳宜有坦白地回答他。

男女主角将爱情升华成永远的好友，我想这个结果不尽完美。但这又回到我们最初的论点：人生又能获得几分完美呢？男主角最后认为能够由衷地祝福她，也不见得那么的不可能。因为能够祝福对方一生快乐，也是一种爱她的表现。这或许就是男主角所持有的信念，让他可以继续踏上人生的旅程，而我们今天也才能看到他的作品。

但愿，有情人终成眷属。

Song Sam Dong dreaming

2011-10-25T13:06:00.002+08:00

HOW CAN ANYONE NOT BE TOUCHED BY SONG SAM DONG'S PERFORMANCE??!!

Idols

2011-10-24T15:19:00.005+08:00

"You said that heaven would only give one hardships that he can handle but that's not true for me. I feel like I can't handle this burden on my shoulders. Harsh, and very cruel. Mum. I've barely started my beautiful dream. But now, I have to say goodbye to it. How should I handle it this time?"

Song Sam Dong

Song Sam Dong has a great character - silly, cute, naive, righteous, courageous, kind, innocent, thrifty, spiritual, unpretentious. I like him =P It's truly sad that he suffered from tinnitus, affecting his hearing. As a result, he met obstacles in pursuing his passion that is music.

Kim Soo Hyun is a great and diligent actor. He spent 3 months learning dancing and singing under JYP. Sure enough, he's good to perform onstage, and he had even performed on Mnet. Watch him on Happy Together! Here's Part 1 of 6.

SNSD is coming! So is MAMA! Both $221 for best seats. Anyone wanna go? I prefer to go for SNSD, since it is unlikely that the groups that I want to see - SNSD and SHINee - are attending MAMA. Into The New World, Gee, Oh!, Run Devil Run, Hoot, Mr Taxi, The Boys! =D

start of a new phase of life - Uni

2011-07-27T21:11:00.002+08:00

Went for a 1 day pre-camp and 6 days FOC activities last week. That's 7 days in all for my School's FOC. The food sucks. But the seniors, fellow freshies and the activities managed to compensate for the lack of quality in the food. One activity, Fright Night, was rather scary since it's dark and there were seniors dressed in black and would try to scare you. SP night was really a unique experience for me. Never have I had to perform in front of a group of girls to impress them... lol. But glad that I passed their stage with relative ease. Then again, the unbuttoning of my shirt while walking towards them and singing 月亮代表我的心 still make me feel really paiseh~
Never mind, next year I would treat my freshies 'better' =P

It's really magical and amazing to see how strangers on Day 0 could mingle around comfortably after days of living together in a camp. That's what I like about camps - strangers become friends eventually. Moreover they're my school mates, some even my course mates. It's a good start to another new phase of life :)

So I got my timetable for my Year 1 Sem 1. It's as bad as my JC timetable.
Mon: 2.30pm - 3.30pm
Tue: 9.30am-12.30pm, 1.30pm - 3.30pm, 4.30pm-6.30pm
Wed: 11.30am-12.30pm, 1.30pm-4.30pm
Thur: 8.30am-10.30am, 10.30am-11.30am, 11.30am-12.30pm
Fri: 9.30am-11.30am, 11.30am-12.30pm, 12.30pm-1.30pm, 2.30pm-4.30pm

I'll be clearing 17AUs this sem. Gonna study Chemistry, Math and Physics! My gosh~

My syllabi:

Basic Inorganic Chemistry with Lab

Stoichiometry
Atomic Structure
Ionic bond
Covalent bond
Molecular Orbital Theory
Chemical Forces
IR Spectroscopy
Periodicity
An Introduction to Transition Metal Chemistry
Nomenclature, Structure and Isomers of Transition Metal Compounds

Basic Organic Chemistry with Lab

Structure and Bonding
Polar covalent bonds: Acids and Bases
Organic reactions
Alkanes and their stereochemistry
Stereochemistry
Alkenes: Structure and reactivity
Alkynes: Intro to organic synthesis
Benzene and Aromaticity
Benzene: Electrophilic Aromatic Substitution
Organohalides
Nucleophilic substitutions and eliminations
Alcohols and Phenols
Ethers and Epoxides: Thiols and Sulfides
Aldehydes and Ketones: Nucleophilic Addition
Carboxylic Acids and Nitriles
Carboxylic Acid Derivatives: Nucleophilic Acyl Substitution

So the above is the Chemistry components for the Sem. Most are from A level. But I have forgotten most of what were used to be my knowledge. =/

For math,

Calculus for the Sciences I

Functions and Graphs
Real numbers
Differentitation of Functions of one variable
Derivative as a rate of change
Chain rule
Implicit functions
Inverse functions
Local maxima and minima
Indefinite and definite integrals
Applications of integration
Methods of integration
Fundamental theorem of calculus

Needa revise all the formulae >.<

For physics,

Foundations of Physics I

Mechanics
Wave motions
Thermodynamics

Sian ttm! Dun really like physics since sec sch. But since this is a pass/fail course, shd by okay.

Another module which I'll be taking is Forensic Science. Sounds interesting...

Time to head to the library again (:

Love Forever and Last Forever!

2011-07-05T22:31:00.002+08:00

Love this song the first time I heard it! Key's rap at the start of the song attracted me to keep on listening to the whole song. Onew's chorus is epic! Love the chorus and his vocal!

Our love should go on yea :)

Below is another video about how Onew is like in the eyes of other members, especially Jonghyun. So touching...
On a side note, it's lucky that Onew is born 1 month earlier than me so that I can respect him as a hyung. haha

The background music almost made me tear...
Envious of their unity and care for one another among them.

Happy lunar new year 2011!

2011-02-02T13:47:00.004+08:00

I will never go for late night karaoke cum drink again. I fell sick that very night. Nose-blocked and body getting feverish as the clock ticked, falling asleep was an impossible task. After seeing a doctor and taking medication, I recovered the next day. I totally abhor the feeling of having a fever, as well as toothache. It makes me feel like vomiting but nothing happened. Neither could I make my mind to stand, walk about nor sit still. =X

Although it can be said that the people who are wealthy and are able to enjoy luxurious lifestyle yet having no idea about how some intangible aspects may be more valuable are 'pathetic', those who can totally understand the values of these cannot-be-bought aspects but have no money to give themselves a better life and to realize their big dreams or desires are even more pathetic.

Birds of a feather flock together. Indeed, only some people who are similar to you in certain ways can relate more to one than others. Simply, these people are more compatible and more likely to be friends for a longer time.
Too talented, too wealthy, too kind, too smart etc. I thank fate for letting me know you as a person but I don't deserve a place in your list of friends. Really, it's not your problem; it's mine.

Reality is cruel. Some beg to differ: reality is just such, the key to gaining a different and positive outlook is how you view it and act on it.
Still, nothing will go the way you desire hence reality is cruel.

Happy lunar new year!
(yea, an ironic ending)

so unprepared

2011-01-08T17:21:00.002+08:00

Gonna commence on my teaching stint in 2 days' time but I am so unprepared for it, whether in terms of knowledge or in mental state. How do I make a lesson interesting so that I can captivate their attention? How ｄｏ　Ｉ　ｈａｎｄｌｅ　ｍｉｓｃｈｉｅｖｏｕｓ　ｓｔｕｄｅｎｔｓ　ａｐｐｒｏｐｒｉａｔｅｌｙ？　Ａｎｙｗａｙ，　Ｉ　ａｍ　ｒｕｓｈｉｎｇ　ｏｎ　ｍｙ　Ｂｉｏ　ｒｅｖｉｓｉｏｎ．　Ｓｉｎｃｅ　ｔｈｅ　ｎｅｗ　ｓｙａｌｌａｂｕｓ　ｈａｓ　ｇｏｔ　ｔｈｅ　ａｄｄｉｔｉｏｎ　ｏｆ　ｓｏｍｅ　Ａ　ｌｅｖｅｌ　ｋｎｏｗｌｅｄｇｅ，　Ｉ　ｈａｖｅ　ｔｏ　ｓｔｕｄｙ　ｍｙ　Ａ　ｌｅｖｅｌ　Ｂｉｏ　ｔｏｏ　：（

Ｍｅｔ　ｕｐ　ｗｉｔｈ　Ｅｘｐｌｏｒｅｒｓ　ｙｅｓｔｅｒｄａｙ　ｎｉｇｈｔ．　Ｇｏｏｄ　ｃａｔｃｈ　ｕｐ　ｏｎ　ｏｎｅ　ａｎｏｔｈｅｒ　ａｎｄ　ｈａｄ　ａ　ｇｒｅａｔ　ｔｉｍｅ　ｐｌａｙｉｎｇ　ｐｏｏｌ　；）　Ｔｈａｎｋｓ　ｙｕａｎ　ｋａｎｇ　ａｎｄ　ｈｉｓ　ｄａｄ　ｆｏｒ　ｔｈｅｉｒ　ｏｆｆｅｒ　ｔｏ　ｄｒｉｖｅ　ｍｅ　ｈｏｍｅ，　ｆｒｅｅ　：）　

Ｉ　ａｍ　ａｌｒｅａｄｙ　ｌｏｏｋｉｎｇ　ｆｏｒｗａｒｄ　ｔｏ　ｕｎｉ. Somehow, I feel that school life is better than working life. How I wish that all my wonderful friends can work in the same environment together. But before that, I would have to fulfill my first reservist.

I count my blessings for everything is going smoothly for me. Perhaps I always think of the worst situation it could get, thus everything seems to be better than expected. Still, they have not gone worse and I must feel grateful for that.

Before I make any critical decision, I must clarify with you so as not to leave any regrets. For I know I must not turn back after the decision is made.

And hey, I have got a dream that I would like to realize with you. Hopefully we could have a great time together!

Some lessons I took away from the training:

Dreams can be caught; they might seem elusive. The quest is worth the best effort.
Whatever the mind conceives and believes, we can achieve.

I shall perceive it as a challenge. I should get myself out of my comfort zone. Not trying wｉｌｌ be listed as one of my regrets aｔ my old age in future, so I shall do whatever I　ｃａｎ．　Ａｔ　ｌｅａｓｔ　Ｉ　ｃｏｕｌｄ　ｔｅｌｌ　ｍｙｓｅｌｆ　Ｉ　ｈａｖｅ　ｔｒｉｅｄ．

let's talk about dreams

2010-12-04T14:24:00.002+08:00

List of my dreams:

Attain financial freedom
Active lifestyle. At least Silver for IPPT every year.
High self-esteem
Tour around the world
Dance
Fulfilling relationship
Able to let go when situation calls for it. Embrace life changes; positive outlook

bill shock!

2010-11-19T20:45:00.003+08:00

I agree that money isn't the most important thing in the world, so we need not be overly concerned over how many zeros there are in your bank account. Nevertheless, money is ESSENTIAL. It seems like money is another factor to human survival, besides the basics: oxygen, food, water, sunlight and electromagnetism.

I was in Malaysia between 11 and 14 Nov. I did not sign up for data plan. Why the hell did my bill show me using 14 MB, incurring over $70?! Screw this! I'm gonna make a trip to SingTel shop tmr and clarify. This is a matter of principle - over-charging me. $, though not the most important thing in life, is essential, and moreover, I don't have a surplus of money for them to anyhow charge me like that.

Have been working for 6 days. I do feel my time is properly occupied yet I don't quite feel satisfied.
Earning $ is my objective, so I will press on the mundanity. Fortunately the colleagues are all very friendly and caring towards me. Their sense of humour helps in brightening up my day of work.

Lacking of human touch...

Expensive lesson...literally $

2010-11-16T23:51:00.002+08:00

I inadvertently enabled IDEAS internet on my phone. SHIT!!! Gonna incur extra charges! It's an expensive lesson for me, literally. $0.02/kb.

WHATEVER NOW. Just gonna work and earn more to cover up my expenses. T_T

I am only gonna connect to internet via Wireless@SG - nothing else!

Working at iras. Routine job every day. Boring but no stress. Both sort of balance each other out and so I feel no joy nor qualm for my job. A mundane work for 8.5 hours. Interestingly, once I start doing work, time seems to pass faster and makes it more bearable for me the whole day.

No matter what, I am going to endure through this mundanity until the very end. Hopefully I pass my teaching internship interview so that I can earn $65/day when school reopens.

Earning $$$ is my top priority to cover up my huge expenses, especially on the unnecessary IDEAS charges! Hate it but won't wallow in it for there's no use. An expensive lesson indeed.

ORD LOH!

2010-11-07T22:30:00.003+08:00

ORD!
Back to Study!
Got Degree!
So Happy!

Earning $$$ is my priority now. But there's a problem: my driving lessons will most probably have to shift to weekends, which means I have to pay $3 more.

Other stuff I would like to do: Dye my hair and change a new spectacles. Of course they are at the bottom of my priority.

I want to dye my hair bright light blue! LOL! That would be SO COOL but unfortunately I need to work. No employer will approve of their employees to dye such an uncommon colour in order to uphold their image. Actually I got the inspiration of dyeing light blue from Key (SHINee); he highlighted light blue, and I thought that was cool. haha.

I've been searching for SNSD and SHINee on YouTube these days. All 9 members from SNSD can do split! How cool is that! And SHINee are so young! Even the oldest is only 1 month+ older than me. And Key has a unique voice which attracted my attention. After watching Hello Baby featuring both SNSD and SHINee as umma and appa, I get to know more of their personalities which make me like them even more. Talented and kind-hearted, they deserve our support and admiration for their passion and hard work.

Aspirations

2010-10-24T16:45:00.004+08:00

Finally, ORD is nearing! In less than 10 days' time, I am no longer a NSF. That means I no longer have to book in on Sun night and my weekdays are free =)
So after ORD, I have 10 months before my tertiary education commences. I shall commit myself to fully utilize this period of time to good use. First, which I have already had my first lesson last Thursday, I would strive to obtain my Class 3 driving license asap, to save $. Hence I must learn to handle the clutch properly so that I won't stall the engine, which is rather embarrassing. My aim is to spend less than $1k on it and to pass my practical test on my first attempt.

I will also be learning dancing - hip hop. Dancing is an interest of mine I realized since secondary school. I believe I would enjoy the lessons and gain a fruitful experience. I'm so looking forward to expressing myself through my body movements while sweating myself out :P

Of course, I'm going to look for a job to keep asset growing. IRAS is one option. But still looking for other higher-pay jobs.

I am going to study hard for uni to earn myself a chance to go overseas to study/work/play. Most probably gonna join Dance as my CCA too. Gonna spice up my uni life and enjoy my uni years before stepping out to the society and facing the ugly side of human beings...

Voluntary works such as missionary trips to poor countries are something which I would like to do. I am sure the sense of satisfaction will be immense and I will definitely appreciate what I've already had much more.

Regarding love life... Well, I guess I will wait till I am financially ready and comfortable first before I would go for it. Deep inside, how I wish that $ should never ever play a part in a relationship. However, facing up the reality, minimal $ is essential to pay for the necessity or it would be tough for the couple. Though I have no qualms whatsoever about whether it would be too tough for me, I wouldn't want my other half to suffer with me. Till then, I shall believe in faith :)

月有阴晴圆缺，人有悲欢离合

2010-08-14T11:23:00.003+08:00

月有阴晴圆缺，人有悲欢离合

An acquaintaince of mine has lost his girlfriend in a fatal accident in Malaysia, reported in the news not so long ago. I had wanted to send my condolences on his Facebook but was lost for words; it'd be hard for him to follow whatever we'd wanted, in his best interest, to tell him to. I might be able to empathise and imagine the grief he is suffering but I am definitely unable to fully understand exactly how he's going through now, since I've never gone through it. So messages like "stay strong!" are a tad too superficial though necessary for him to know that his friends are always there for him. After all, only he himself knows the wonderful times he has once had with her, and all of which are now embedded within him as his most precious memories. Jia you, my friend!

Closure.
I've fallen in love for this word.
Perhaps it's my way of escaping the reality but it makes my life more bearable.
The society is too complex and my heart has to experience too much of the different kinds of emotions.
But I know that I can handle this, just that I tend to whine before executing what I need to do.
I am thankful for I have been quite lucky and smooth-sailing all this while in life.
ORD soon and I must keep myself busy...
Closure.

beyond my means

2010-06-25T23:13:00.006+08:00

The feeling SUCKS when you cannot help a friend when something is gravely troubling him. The only thing I could do is to give him advice, trying to at least alleviate his foul mood. But it seemed that he no longer is as open and willing to confide in me anymore. I am more than willing to be your listening ear! I could tell that lotsa stuff is bottled up within you and I wanted you to air it out so that you could feel better. Never did I expect such a defensive and uninterested reaction from you, to turn down my concern and keep mum. The short answers, the patronized responses, and the repeated actions just revealed your highly unsatisfactory outlook of your life. I felt defeated when all that I can do is to watch you in a really bad mood and can't even say what I'd like you to hear with regard to the situation with your closed heart. When I saw you finally tried to vent out your anger by drawing the word you wouldn't have wanted to use, my instinct told me that I must stop you from keeping quiet and must ask you to voice out, at least say a few words. I hope the touch could mend our broken and 'unstable' bond between us so that the free channel of communication could be restored. I am sorry that I am not vocal, neither am I critical in my thinking to try to enlighten you how this is just a small matter compared to other more pertinent issues in life. Hence my inability to unload the weight off your shoulders. To be honest, the moment I saw what you were scribbling, my heartbeat rate rose and, if you noticed, my voice trembled when trying to advise you. Your treatment towards me and your dejected self worried me and so I did what I could best do. And I hope the mates you always hang out with nowadays won't be labelled as 'instigator(s)' [they definitely won't if your impulse doesn't get the better of you]; do not do things without thorougly thinking through the consequences everyone would face. They could be painful and long-lasting. I think my point is don't learn or be easily influenced and convinced by what your mates say. Some people, due to their complex combination of voice, tone and expression, inter alia, would turn out to have high Persuasion Quotient. Be rational, seek advice from people who have more experiences in life to better manage and resolve difficult issues. All in all, I just wish to see you happy and satisfied. It's the last phase already, don't live with regrets. Perhaps anger management is what everyone needs to learn. I always think that seeking the proper channel to raise up issues should be done, not any own 'creative' methods. Life is not fair, we all need to live with it. Remember, there're usually always both plus and minus aspects in any given context; my point is sieve out all bad influences and only learn the beneficial things, including when mixing with friends. I don't want to feel hurt, so don't give yourself chances to feel hurt.

p.s.: i realized i have changed writing from second-person to first-person unknowlingly halfway.

friendship reflection

2010-05-22T14:20:00.003+08:00

I love and miss the weather in Germany, totally! My sweat glands hardly need nor get the chance to work. Training is perfect in such climate. I even thought of a idea that we should book-in to Germany for training, and book-out back to Singapore every weekend! The weather there is rather erratic, with rain followed by hail, then all of a sudden we saw snow! Temperature dropped drastically while we were doing servicing, for which we would surely perspire if it were in Singapore. Perhaps this trip would be the only best highlight in my army life.

So I mentioned about my friendship problem in my previous post. I guess I might be a little emotional and irrational over the matter. Well, I think it's only natural to feel emotional if you really care about the relationship. It might suggest some sadism but I have no such intention at all: that I think I should thank the incident for it taught me yet another invaluable lesson. Firstly, those who matter don't mind; those who mind don't matter. Secondly, your own emotions, no matter how strong, would not have a change to the outcome of the situation. So do not overreact which will only make yourself seem desperate. The important thing is to just be yourself, and have faith in the bond you've built. After all, nothing could sustain it if he has no desire for it. In that case, perhaps being grateful for the wonderful times you have had might be the only thing you can do. When you keep your poise and be engaged in other activities of interests to you, you could even exhibit quality traits of yourself.

Rehearsals for NDP started since the beginning of the month and that means my weekends are burned - no proper weekends. But my Monday would be free! I can watch 百万大歌星! If only Tue is free too, then I can have a good time laughing my heart out watching 爆料黑玫瑰! Just 5 more months to civilian life (:

Will be in Deutschland tmr

2010-04-09T23:23:00.003+08:00

Tomorrow I will be taking Lufthansa Airline to fly to Deutschland! EURO is expensive =(

Wasn't feeling too happy for the past week. Well, it's just another friendship problem I face; he's someone whom I thought is a good friend who is understanding and empathetic enough to know how I feel. He once asked me if I feel insecure for knowing myself more than I thought he knows about me, and I answered I am, on the contrary, very happy. That was the kind of intimate relationship I'd like to build, and sustain. But I guess life is a journey of obstacles and setbacks for us to tackle and resolve, perhaps only through these do we glorify our existence and relationship with God.

How would you feel if your good friend hurts you twice due to a same particular issue? For the first time, since he apologized and I understood why he did that, I forgave him, and we became like how we were like before the incident. But how about the second time? Especially when it's regarding the same exact kind of incident again. Even if he apologized again, do you forgive him still? Defintely, it won't be as easy as the first time. You'd doubt his sincerity in his apology. You'd wonder will there be a third time. You'd ponder if he is the kind of friend whom you should still befriend with.

My brain says NO but my heart says otherwise. The voice of my heart seems to be louder than that of my brain. At the same time, my brain seems to be more determined than my heart. Argh! Why am I tormented with such issue? Didn't I used to be insouciant and lighthearted?

Part of me has told myself to just forget it (that doesn't mean forgiveness is granted), There's no use, nor anybody cares (I think), mulling over it. We will still see each other and work together. Life has to go on. Let nature takes its course. Let Him guide me through this yet another experience.

How I assuage my grief: Those who matter don't mind; those who mind don't matter.

Ciao for now for I'll be leaving for

Will be back on 27th this month :]

simplicity = happiness

2010-02-07T13:12:00.003+08:00

Nobody said that life is fair. And nobody said that life will be a smooth-sailing one. Life is about overcoming challenges and obstacles that are presented to you. It is a process of learning the best way of living a fruitful and fulfilling life. Indeed, it is easier said than done, and that itself is also a challenge which we have to live with. So we have to stop procrastinating, that including myself, and start embarking on the conquest of life's challenges and turn them into your glory!

Sometimes we don't have to be too persistent. By learning to let go, we could be free and relieved from the breathlessness we unknowingly feel in this rat race society in which we live in. Don't wallow in self-pity or lament over your fate, instead recognize how blessed you already are and learn that simplicity is a form of happiness too. One might not be materially abundant but the most important thing is to be spiritually rich and happy.

Be loving and grateful :)

picnic cum celebration

2010-01-17T12:15:00.006+08:00

Went to Sentosa yesterday with Scandalous for picnic. Had a great great time playing erm... 'water frisbee'? haha... It's been ages since I've been to Sentosa already... It's fun throwing et the clerk down the water! lol

Regarding the gossip session, perhaps I should make a correction here. I think that was an act of kindness and naivety when I actually make the effort to buy gifts for her as I don't think I really felt anything special toward her. Maybe I just thought that she was a capable and outstanding girl who I got to work closely with, thus I felt lucky and was impressed by her works. After getting to know that there was another guy who had feelings for her, and I knew that she had good impression on me, I actually got myself to land into some lame and pointless competition with the guy over a girl whom I, in reality, didn't really have the true element of love for. I didn't want her to feel too sad if I said I didn't really like her. In addition, I couldn't and wouldn't want to foresee how our friendship might be negatively shaped and how I might be able to handle it. (I might be thinking too much but that was just how I felt then, so no comments please.. ><) So I didn't clarify the matters and inevitably, the relationships I had with the friends involved became rivalrous - a pity indeed. How naive and 'kind' I was huh.

Anyway, thanks Scandalous for the pleasant surprise! I must say you guys can act well, each played your part to make the whole plan run so seamlessly without any hiccup such that a person like me who is quite sensitive didn't notice any suspicion. When yanli said she wanted to go home, like so suddenly, I did find her weird for leaving without any warning beforehand. But I guess it's her 'new' style of hanging out with friends, since we don't hang out very often, so I didn't suspect anything. When maria and stella said they wanted to go toilet, neither do I suspect anything too. When yanhong said that he also want to go toilet, again I didn't think too much. Now, with the benefit of hindsight, yanhong rarely go toilet halfway and it's strange when sokteng, yukai and et each asked me to guess what they're trying to say in hokkien to stall for time! So it's really a pleasant surprise when I saw the glowing light suddenly at the corner of my eye. The cheese cake taste great! Thanks!!!!!!! :D

Am pondering whether I should go for the teaching scholarship. The incentives are too enticing! Maybe I shall go try out relief teaching first and that'd be one of my plans after I ORD.

PS: I'm still a teenager :)

Happy New Year 2010

2010-01-01T18:40:00.004+08:00

First of all, just to follow conventional opening style, Happy New Year 2010!

On the first day of a brand new year, I shall, however, pen down some deep-seated thoughts I have had in mind, especially after watching the anime Naruto Shippuden. Yes, don't be surprised. Watching Naruto does stimulate one to reflect and examine about life itself, at least it works on me.

So in this particular arc of the anime, it deals with whether the attainment of peace is achievable or simply a fantasy. The antagonists deny that peace can be achieved by love itself because love breeds anger between people, and subsequently evolves to become hatred and soon, everyone seeks revenge. With hatred, it breeds more hatred, and this cycle continues on such that peace is thus never possible - peace is a mere utopian world that everyone is dreaming of.

The main protagonist, Naruto, couldn't give an answer to how such chain of hatred could be resolved. In the end, he successfully enlightened and convinced the antagonist by saying that with faith, anything is possible. Naruto has been entrusted by his Dad, teacher and captain to find out the answer to how peace could be attained as they, too, desire to achieve peace. And Naruto believes in what they believe in. So he gave the answer "faith" and he would continue to find the key to break the vicious cycle of the breeding of hatred, to bring peace to the world.

While reading the online manga, I also wanted to find out how can we put a stop to this unending breeding of hatred amongst people. It is only human nature to feel angry if somebody were to harm somebody whom you love. Why would the person want to try to harm him/her whom you love? There are many valid reasons one could think of but the most compelling one would be the different ideology each individual has. I.e., because Person X sees Person Y as a threat to the safety of X's nation due to different ideology, out of love for his citizens, X declares war on Y's country. Such phenomenon is not uncommon in today's world. There, a classic illustration of Love -> Anger -> Hatred -> Seek Revenge -> Peace impossible.

At present, I still haven't found the key to prevent such unfortunate chain of emotions leading to unrest. Perhaps humans are all selfish and because of this selfishness, not even love, such a powerful emotion, can enable us to achieve true peace. So does it mean that by eradicating this wicked emotion - selfishness, we can then achieve peace? I have no idea. Maybe there would be other factors which we have overlooked now that would still lead to the same unfortunate ending. Or it might be that like what Naruto has proposed, faith could do the trick. As an idealist, let us put our faith in God and in ourselves that grace and humaneness in the world is, alas, possible.

One of the resolutions I have for myself is to forge eternal friendship with those whom I have thought I could communicate with spiritually and subsequently, developed a heart-based connectedness. Basically, I wish I could have friends with whom we could understand what each other is thinking without the need to explicitly voice out. How lucky one would be to be able to find such friends! Imagine your friend can understand you inside out, what a great companion you have found for yourself in your life! He/She would do the appropriate and necessary to complement with how you are feeling so that you guys can fully enjoy yourselves during that special moment. How wonderful!

Thank God for allowing me to meet some great friends, be it in schools or in NS. Not that I like NS but it's just that I treat it as just another social gathering where God has let me meet some great friends. Thanks to 2 particular friends, one in JC and another in NS, who have introduced me into the world of God and Jesus. :D

Australia Part II

2009-12-19T18:27:00.004+08:00

Shall blog a brief recount about my Australia trip Part II around 2 months ago.

Our training area is located about 180km north Brisbane. The plane touched down at Rockhampton airpot at 2025hrs. 3 hours later, after the collection of our luggage and settling the administration matters, we reached our training area by coach. The temperature at night reached as low as 17 degree Celsius which was rather cooling. The sun rises around 0445 and sets before 1800. During the period when we were there, the area was in the transition from cold to hot and humid weather. Hence the nights were felt to become less cold. Thankfully it wasn't very humid and so the days were still bearable, much better than Darwin, with max temperature around 31 C.

Both the accomodation and toilet facilities couldn't be anywhere near satisfactory level compared to the previous training area. Imagine yourself sleeping above soil and ash (due to the recent burning), or having to muster strength to pull the buckets of filled water up, using simple pulley system that is primarily made of rope, after a tiring day just to bathe to feel clean. And imagine that whenver you wipe your face with wet tissue, it always turned out to be black; or blow your nose and it's black too. It's all due to the ash.

Though the living conditions weren't as good compared to the previous traning area, I would prefer the training in Rockhampton to that in Darwin. Basically, it's because I had got less things to do. That's why. Haha. Anyway, I sustained yet another injury. I hurt my left thumb with a 5-kg hammer while trying to knock some metal out. There was internal bleeding, evident from my thumb nail. Luckily, I could still move my thumb and so there was no fracture. The dried up blood is still visible now inside my nail.

I also enjoyed my free-and-easy time more. We stayed a night over at Welcome Home motel. Indeed, everything was much like you've come home, cosy and heartwarming. At night, we decided to explore the small little town of North Rockhampton and bought a bottle of Whiskey, and Breaka milk from Coles situated inside the new plaza, whose name I have forgotten. We rented a DVD too, Sex Traffic, and watched it while drinking Whiskey mixed with coffee milk. Anyway, the movie was about the illegal trading of women to brothels in eastern Europe - to me, it's too sad a story that I wouldn't want to finish watching it and left to sleep midway through. I had bacon with egg for breakfast the next morning. It's delicious even though the bacon was a bit too salty.

Some 'interesting' happenings to share: There's this strip dancer bar or something in the small town which, according to our coach driver, only open at 2230. As we were required to be back to our motels by 2300, most of us gave up the idea to take a look or satisfy our curiosity. However, the bar actually opened around 2000 and some of us got lucky enough, in their context, to witness other country's night life. So while some had got back to their motels, some others were enjoying themselves, paying 10 auzis and a strip dancer would do lap dance on you. lol.

Alright, shall stop here. Merry X'mas! God bless!

Back from Australia trip Part I

2009-09-28T09:48:00.003+08:00

It's 3 freaking weeks and I was glad that it's over, finally. Well, that's only like Part I of my Australia trip. Part II is just round the corner and everything would be worse.

It's a relief to find out that the accomodation and toilet facilities were not as bad as expected. Well, perhaps we had been through worse than what was presented to us. The only aspect we didn't prepare ourselves for is the hot and dry weather. Cloudless days aren't rare and the dryness is capable of making your lips crack and bleed, which happened to me twice, at least. Drinking water is definitely a must. Speaking of which, the water is way too alkaline. It feels nothing wrong, in fact it feels like mineral water, if you drink only a few gulps of water. However, if you were to drink 500ml at one go, your tongue would be able to sense the bitterness of the water, and it's really bitter till it makes you feel like vomiting, not to mention it makes your throat feel, ironically, dry.

Shan't blog about anything that is prohibited from sharing. I can only say that sleeping is a luxury.

Nothing beats the day on which we were given a day off! I needed a break, quite desperately indeed. It just felt so great without the need to touch hard, solid metals which are so unfeeling and apathetic. As Darwin is a really small city, the group of us explored the whole city in less than half-a-day. Okay, one highlight we found is the topless bar. Lol. The condoms we have could be put to good use. Wait! Watch your thoughts! What I meant was to sell the condoms that were issued to us to those people inside the bar, and we could make money. Well, we didn't, of course, in the end.

An unfortunate accident happened to me. I injured my little finger during my last "working moment". My flesh tore and blood was seen oozing out and soaked my gloves. Yes, it was really painful. I didn't really dare to see the condition of my injury at first. The injury brought me some inconvenience as I was reminded not to get it wet by the medics. One of the attempts made was to wear the condom on my little finger. haha. Well, that was my first time touching a condom and its lubricant. So my crewmate helped me wear the condom, on my little finger of course.
Luckily, my finger could still bend and after verification from my visit to NUH yesterday, there's no fracture.

On the whole, there were happy moments and angry moments for us. Those angry moments were brought about, as usual, by those brainless idiots. Of course, these people shouldn't be the ones occupying our brain. They don't worth a damn to us. In contrast, those happy moments we had had together, whether captured or not by the cameras, shall always be remembered dearly in our hearts. =)

Back to the question: How often do you get to go overseas with your NS friends?
My answer: 3 freaking times, ok?!
laughs...

SOC Test 2

2009-08-22T21:14:00.005+08:00

It was about 0720 on Friday morning. I was wearing my full gear, ready for the test. Upon "GO!", I started running at a controlled pace for a distance of 700m. Determined not to repeat the mistake of running too fast lest compromising on my ability and speed for the rest of the test, I decided to time myself this time round.

I took 3 min 45s for the first 700m rundown, which is considered "good timing". It's time for the clearing of obstacles. At the low rope, I grabbed for the rope and tried to pull myself up, while my feet were trying to make a loop for me to step on. Unable to lift myself high enough hence unable to make a complete loop, I dropped to the ground. Not allowing myself too much time to conjure up any negative thoughts, I quickly grabbed for the rope again with the determination to touch the beam. Yes! After successfully making 3 loops, I managed to touch the beam and rushed to clear the rest of the obstacles.

It's the last obstacle, finally. Running halfway up the ramp, I could feel that my legs were tired. Again, not giving myself time to waste on any negative thoughts, I jumped off from the height of 2m. I looked at my watch immediately and found out that I still had 3 min 30s left to run 600m. Realizing that I still had hope of passing, my legs started to move and spread out immediately. I was panting hard. Run...run..run... I looked at my watch again - 2 min left. I continued to run. 1 min left and about 150m left. "I need to run faster!" About 25m left and I looked at my watch once again. 10s was all I had left. I was so close and I ran at my fastest possible speed. Finally, I crossed the finishing line and immediately I bent my body down, trying hard to catch my breath. My friends kept telling me while trying to stretch out my hand to take my number chip but I ignored them. I was breathless and I needed to be left alone so that I had more air for myself. Okay, I told myself, I had to take the number chip or my result would be voided. Then I looked at my watch again. It showed 7s after the passing time. I had no idea how much time I took before I managed to take the number chip from them. Did I pass?

I had no idea. And I didn't want to think about it and I couldn't think because I got a sudden headache everytime I lift up my head. I had to face down with the back of my hand supporting my forehead so that I wouldn't feel so lousy. My heart was still racing and I felt as if I was going to vomit any time. I definitely wasn't feeling well. It lasted for about 20min before I got a little bit better.

My friends asked me if I pass. I told them, "Either on the dot or fail."
It was then time to fall in and our results were made known to us.
"Ming Xian. 9:57." The passing time is 9:59 and below.
I passed!!! Never ever have I dreamt of clearing SOC. I was elated!
HAPPY :)

Then again, seriously, I would have been studying in uni right now if not for you-know-what.
LOL

what life actually is about

2009-07-31T22:15:00.008+08:00

I wan enlightened after reading a book "The Way We Are". We tend to assume that we know what life is all about and take them for granted, without giving it a deeper thought. In fact, we know very little of what we are and we are largely the opposite of what we think we are.

What is the main difference between us, the homo sapiens, and the other animals? The enlarged consciousness. And because of this, there's always fear lurking in our minds; fear is constant in our life, even in our pleasures. We never feel safe as we are aware that there are dangers remembered and anticipated, not to mention the fact that we know we will die, eventually. Hence humans seek refuge in strength. (WARNING: MAY BE SENSITIVE...) Man created "infinite intelligence" (so as not to offend anyone's beliefs) and formulated taboos, and sin, morality and guilt come into being. Our fear and weakness impel us to honour these taboos and obey our leaders. This makes possible for few to control the many. Work comes into being which serves no purpose in our life but which is required by "infinite intelligence" who (we have come to believe) will protect us. Servitude is invented.

This was just one of the many lessons I learnt from the book. I strongly recommend this book to anyone who have an open mind to welcome new and unorthodox (perhaps to some) ideas and opinions about who we really are and how nature really works.

It is madness. No treatment is required, indeed none is effective. Loses contact with reality, clutches something one believes to be a treasure while others see plainly no better than a loaf of bread. Perhaps the right way is to accept that it won't last. Accept , not in the sense of resigning one's self to value. I shoulda sad inevitability but in the sense of celebrating a process that unavoidably entails the ending of a passion that presently appears as life's supreme feel an unmixed celebration of what I now have. I should accept change not because I cannot anyway prevent it, but because it is life itself. The beginning and ending, should be praised as one. Phew, my mind is freed!

SOC

2009-07-19T01:19:00.004+08:00

Not again! Silver for IPPT. What's next? Simple, wait for the next IPPT to be conducted next month.
It was a stressful one, indeed, with the remedial trainings scheduled on Saturday for those who didn't manage to attain at least a Silver. Such a great relief it was for me when I had, somehow, jumped 234cm for SBJ. I knew that, following which, 2.4km run was the only factor to decide if I still need to take IPPT at all for the rest of the year, which I have not yet able to be excused from. Improvement, personally, is the more important part in every IPPT that I take. I'm glad that I have improved 18 seconds from my previous timing for the run. Still a long way to 9:44 (~40 secs) but if some people had proven that almost 1 minute of improvement is not impossible, there's always chance and hope to achieve what you want. The critical thing is to maintain, at least, a Silver so that I would have one less worry.

SOC - my current nightmare. The actual test is at the end of the month and my best timing is still about 46 seconds behind the passing timing. Have to pace myself for my first run-down or fatigue will overpower my body. Of course, clearing the obstacles must be fast too.

Recently, I am becoming to be a wastrel. Normally, I wouldn't withdraw $ from my account as I would wait till my parents give me some allowance before I would then decide what I want to spend on. No worries for I have figured out the "culprit" behind this - the Great Singapore Sale, which will end by 260709. After this date, I am indubitably certain that I will not withdraw $ so frequently anymore. =]

I have decided that I am going to learn to play some instruments myself - autodidact, that is. What kind of instrument? I haven't decided yet but I am sure I will and can do this. =)

Library is where I have been going to frequently every weekend. There're so many books I want to read, and so much knowledge awaiting me to discover myself. What a fulfilling and wonderful way of spending my free time yeah =p Am craving for more ... busy reading

Back to what I am doing - conscription, outfield will be soon and how I wish I can get it over and done with. Not that I really mind about the stickiness and dirtiness my body would experience but I hate the troubles and inconveniences that I have to put up with, inter alia, setting up of sleeping area, moving about in the dark and using of latrine.

475 days to the three-letter word every NSF is looking forward to (and every regular not giving a damn to) ! =)'

run ...

2009-07-10T16:34:00.005+08:00

Shall update my blog...lol
Last week was my company's POP. Was glad that my parents and friends could get to see the gigantic Leopard tanks that we are operating. Though we had only a few rehearsals, due to time constraints, I suppose the whole parade still turned out rather decent. Thanks to the weather too for it stopped raining before the commencement of the parade, or the efforts everybody put in, especially when we worked so hard till 10 pm the night before so as to showcase our best performance possible, would be in vain.

There'll be physical training every single day! -.- 19km - the distance I've run this week, half of the distance was completed this morning. IPPT test next wednesday. Hope I can jump ffffaaaaarrrrrr, and do not rain on that day... Yes, the weather does affect the distance that I could jump.. LOL.

My whole body is suffering from muscle ache. Gonna rest...

IPPT till GOLD

2009-05-31T12:25:00.003+08:00

Yet again, I achieved Silver for the IPPT last week. Since I haven't got Gold, I am to take IPPT, again, coming Wed. -.-" Yes, I am to take IPPT until I get Gold. For my IPPT last week, I improved my running timing merely by 4 seconds. At this rate, it's gonna take many months before I could run in less than 9:44. ---------.-----------"

Didn't manage to get marksmanship. Not really disappointed lah, after getting to know the statistics of the number of people who can get marksmanship at their first try. No wonder one can get 200 bucks for hitting the marksmanship since only very few can manage to do it, like only 10%??... Perhaps IPPT is easier. Lolx...

I've accepted NTU Chem and Biochem course. A more practical choice, I guess, especially with the internship they offer. Hope I won't regret. Gonna find out in 1.5 years' time anyway.

Coming week not gonna be an easy week eh. Oh well.
Ok, till then...

which uni???

2009-05-16T18:20:00.004+08:00

Now I'm torn between NTU Chemistry & Biological Chemistry and NUS Faculty of Science. The former has a direct honour programme and has internship in the 4th year while the latter is more established, and perhaps more recognized. Yet another dilemma. =\ Currently, I have a better impression on NTU as it has better laboratory facilities and has a new building. However, I'm also concerned about the school's culture and student activities as I wouldn't wanna lead a boring uni life. Advices are most welcomed. =)

Gonna have another IPPT coming Wed. Unsure if I could do well as I have regimental duty the day before which will last through the night. Addtional 100 bucks would, of course, be good! =D

Days ahead will only get tougher with more tedious and tiring trainings that are to come. I know I'm going to have to bear with wearing my sweaty uniform while executing my tasks.

long weekend =)

2009-04-30T22:20:00.008+08:00

Heeee...It's the long-awaited long weekend. Labour Day rulez! The next 3-day weekend will be National Day. Gonna spend my precious long weekend wisely!

This week wasn't an easy week eh. Either you pass the tests or you're confined - an effective 'measure' to stress us up so that we'd study.
Had IPPT test and I'm glad that I got Silver! Or rather $100! Hahahaha! Well, I don't really bother about the monetary reward but more on the improvement I'd made. To get Gold, you have to run in less than 9min 44s, as well as getting at least a B in other static stations. Hmmmm....

Blue-black here and there. -.-

554 days to ORD.

post-BMT

2009-03-22T19:47:00.005+08:00

POP loh!
Lol, I know it's so so so so so late to say "POP loh". But it seems like they are words that all who've gone through BMT must say, since they appear at every blogs and Facebook of those who've just POP-ed, I should say it too.
BMT: 070109 - 100309
Next date that I'm looking forward to will be my ORD which is on 061110! It seems long but don't we always say time flies? So my ORD will be soon=) (Oh, I'm being optimistic...)

Remember that I mentioned I'd always wanted myself to fall sick ever since my BMT started? Well, I managed to fall sick (fever + headache + cough + running nose), but it occured only after my POP, or during my block leave. So yea, instead of enjoying myself during the first few days of my block leave, I rest at home instead. What a waste. By the way, the block leave that we had was compulsory for us to take. Since everyone is entitled 14 days of leave per year, after the 9 compulsory block leave, we have only 5 days of leave left for the rest of the year. What the... It's only March and there's 9 more months and 5 days of leave is all we have.
Okay, I didn't forget what I just said previously - time flies.

You know what, I was actually very worried when I was checking for my ePosting to find out which vocation I'm assigned to. I strongly do not want to get myself trained in vocations that are infamous for their level of 'siong-ness'. Luckily, I'm posted to HQ ARMOUR. It's not a slack vocation though but it's definitely better than Guards. Moreoever, Tianwei aka Xiao Bai, my bunkmate, is posted to the same vocation as me. Hope we are grouped together and can operate the together. Tomorrow is the day to report to my new unit, hope I can find my way there successfully.

Just being random, I hate Polaramine (Polarax), a drug used to stop running nose but it causes the side-effect of headache! I hate headache! For your information, the 2 most uncomfortable illnesses to me are toothache and headache. To stop the headache, I consumed a tablet of Panadol and I feel much better now.

Besides this naturally-occuring headache, another issue that makes me headache is the order of courses of university. I had a hard time deciding whether FASS or FoS should come before the other. Finally, after putting my interest and future prospects into consideration, I decided that FoS should come before FASS. Hmmm..Hope I can be granted my first or second choice. Sigh, if only I'm smart enough... I just realised that I always tend to attain the second best grade in all my examninations, in PSLE (all A, (there's A* in PSLE!)), O (mostly A2) and A level (mostly B).
v_v"

Oh ya, my neighbour gave me a box of New Moon Chicken Essence just now! She said it's a form of encouragement for whatever I am going through. How nice of her! :D

Alright, I need to go shave now.
I'm so lazy to shave!
Need to wake up early tomorrow in order to reach my unit at 0800.
o_O"
Till then.

烦闷瞬间之作

2009-03-17T12:39:00.003+08:00

闷烦
骚恼

Life

生命色彩何在

烦闷瞬间之作

枷锁
自己为自己添加
生命不能再无聊
全因为你
使我生命色彩全无

残忍
你从何开始
就对我惩罚
水波的荡漾
从未停过
心中的伤痛
亦未停止
你是否能感受
我心在嘶喊的震荡
难道你
没半点丝毫的怜楚
管不着我心灵的痛否？

坚强的外表
洒脱的外在
全皆装作无事之酝酿
你没感受出来么？
我们之间已建立的关系
就如此轻易忘却吗？

简单的问候
灿烂的微笑
诚恳的关心
今日都是奢求
人生的悲哀
我, 无能为力

水瓶座

2009-03-01T12:35:00.003+08:00

highly true (",)

水瓶座

几乎每个水瓶座的心底都有着一段刻骨铭心人间记忆，一个永远无法忘记的背影。
那也许只是极其短暂的两情相悦，只是一种单恋，或只是一种只存在于虚幻空间。
一切看起来是那么平静，那么和谐。

没有惊天动地，没有海誓山盟，没有花前月下，没有浪漫，没有誓言，没有温度。水瓶座的理智和冷漠，注定了任何感情永无燃点。

水瓶座不容易喜欢上一个人。有人说水瓶座对伴侣的要求太高，其实并非这样，水瓶座注重的是感觉。只是那么轻描淡写的一眼，那个人已经吸引了水瓶的所有注意力，从此目光便无法转移。

用一秒钟爱上一个人，然后再付出一生去忘记，水瓶座就是这样的试验品。
但几乎所有的水瓶都会否认在自己的身上发生一见钟情，因为一向自视清高，承认爱上一个人这钟事似乎是在侮辱自己的智商。
更多的时候是因为，连自己都没发现已经爱上。水瓶座很多时候对于感情反应非常迟钝，迟钝到每次都是最后的知情者。有时容易出现弄不清自己的感觉，不清楚自己想做什么，觉得迷惘。

在对方没有非常明确地表示感情时会退怯，觉得爱情是两厢情愿，不想勉强对方。
显得很被动，忽冷忽热，犹豫不决，极其矛盾。在没有完全确定前，决不轻易付出感情，因为怕失去。也许是缺乏安全感，也许是对自己的保护，也可以算作是一种自私。
一般水瓶座的好朋友都是经过很长世间的考察的，不仅仅是几年，而是十几年。一旦被水瓶座当作好朋友的，会赴汤蹈火掏心掏肺。

在公车上，街边，商场，水瓶老是认错人。在茫茫人海中，始终在寻找一个熟悉的身影，直到产生幻觉。
这一刻，水瓶座突然很想痛哭流涕，因为突然发现自己几近疯狂的爱上一个人，失去了理智，失去了自我。这种突如其来的感觉，很恐惧，很无助。

水瓶座不喜欢这种感觉，因为不知该如何面对。要让水瓶座主动去追逐，是件异常困难的事，在水瓶座的世界里无法承受拒绝，就是这么脆弱，无论表面上看来是多么的坚强。
水瓶座在人前总是一幅无忧无虑没心没肝的样子，不想别人看见自己的悲伤，那样会有不安全的感觉，总是在无人的地方暗自落泪。

算了，还是放在心里吧。既不用尴尬的表白然后遭到拒绝，又不会相爱容易相处难的惨烈分手。这样很好，没人看出来，不至于太没面子。可以继续貌似潇洒。

但是，不同了。尽管水瓶座装着多么不在乎，看都不看一眼。可是对方说的每句话都从耳朵进去，没见出来。对方提的任何过分的要求，水瓶座统统照单全收精心尽力，决对不会有半个不字。完全成为一个爱情的奴隶，脸上还装酷无表情，整个死要面子活受罪。
这种情况下，如果对方使点阴谋诡计，刻意疏远避而不见或是视而不见，电话不接或是哼哈敷衍等等，水瓶会给整疯了，开始会想是什么自己地方做错了，说错话了，然后拉下面子主动讨好试探。不用多，碰壁两次，水瓶座就会有自知之明了，不会再去想是为什么会这样，也不想知道了。心里会想，原来是对方讨厌自己，不想见到自己。明白之后，就是绝对的安静了。

这还没完，过了一段日子。对方如果突然又改变态度，水瓶座竟然能既往不咎问也不问，殷勤依旧，完全没有尊严可谈。只要能和对方开心的在一起，过去不重要，未来也不重要，面子不重要，金钱不重要，时间不重要，自己也不重要。
天平失衡，感情重重的压在心底，自己却飘在了半空。太在乎对方，迷失了自我，幸福也变得虚无。

自己都不爱，谁还会珍惜。
水瓶座一旦付出，便是彻底，不可收回。
感情投入的越多越是伤的重。

最擅长的是难为自己。不想对方难过，只好让自己难过。总是认为自己有超乎寻常的承受力，把自己想得太坚强，而把别人想得太脆弱。不知道，受伤的其实是自己，只是不知道如何表现出来。

爱，这个字对水瓶座来说，太沉重珍贵了，无法用语言诠释。一旦说出口，犹如远古的文物，被发掘出土暴露于空气中，变得面目全非，失去本来的价值。
所以，不轻易说。

只需一次，水瓶座便把一生的精力耗尽，只因执著，便落得伤痕累累。那段感情如强酸腐蚀着那颗麻木的心，穿了一个洞，再也无法弥补。时间是世界上最有力的矬子，把空洞的毛边渐渐抚平，不再搁人。每当寒风吹过，犹闻隐约凄凉的萧萧声，似挽歌。

只需一次，水瓶座便不再幻想，于是狠狠将自己摔碎，拒绝熔化拼凑。因为怕熔了记忆，怕熔了那个远远的背影，怕熔了自己千年的期盼。
之后，水瓶座依然谈笑风生，依然开朗豁达，继续着一段接一段的新感情，重复着一切，因为无法承受寂寞。

人们都说水瓶花心，见一个爱一个，水瓶座会哈哈一笑，说“哪有？冤啊！”。其实心里在滴着血，脸上却得笑的灿烂，安慰自己“我是谁啊！哪会那么弱呢！”

有人说水瓶座太冷酷太自私，自以为了不起。可是谁又了解，水瓶座的心，容量很小，只能有一个，且不具修改性。除了那个人，其他所有自动归为一种程序。

因为无法虚伪，所以甜言蜜语都吝啬给予。因为天真，所以至死之前仍在等待。因为没有勇气，所以眼睁睁放手真爱无能为力。

当看到一个瓶子在疯狂地快乐或悲伤时，请千万不要被迷惑，水瓶总是不由自主地交错操纵着快乐与悲伤。其实并不像看到的那么快乐，同样的，也不像看到的那么悲伤。只是悲伤时，喜欢带上快乐的面具，而当水瓶快乐时，悲伤又不肯轻易放过。

只有真正懂得水瓶座的人，才能看见眼底那一缕似有似无的哀伤，才能明白是什么让水瓶如此的义无反顾，是什么让水瓶变得如此忽冷忽热捉摸不定，才能体会水瓶的坚强只是竭力掩饰的脆弱。

星相上说，水瓶座往往不被所爱的人珍惜。我想，是为什么呢？也许答案就在心中，只是水瓶座的本性不愿承认而已。
水瓶座除了需要一个深爱自己包容一切的人以外，还需要一个心理医生.

Pass IPPT!

2009-03-01T12:22:00.005+08:00

Walked 16km route march on the rainy Tuesday. Though it was raining, it's much better than walking under the hot sun. I'd rather my uniform being drenched with rain than sweat. Moreover, it felt cooling although we were shivering during the 15min break which was held after every 4 km.

Good news! I passed my actual IPPT on Friday! Although my results don't seem to be as spectacular as you expect, I am satisfied since I'm not aiming to go into command schools. Here goes my results:

Sit-up: 43 [5]
SBJ: 225 cm [3]
Shuttle Run: 10.1 s [5]
Chin-up: 7 [2] (Just 1 more and I could have gotten Silver; but it's okay)
2.4km run: approx 11 min 10 s [3]

Anyway, I'm glad that I've got IPPT test over and done with. At least there's no more Remedial Trainings on weekends.

9 more days to POP. On the high note, Block Leave is coming real soon and it lasts till 230309. However, it also means that I wouldn't be able to see my section and platoon mates anymore as all of us will most probably be sent into different units and vocations; it'll be difficult to meet up. Mixed feelings.

field camp

2009-02-15T13:50:00.006+08:00

Gosh, I've actually survived the 6D5N field camp without showering, getting adequate hours of sleep nor shitting!

I shall say that this field camp was a rather memorable one. Could you imagine yourself surviving in jungle for almost a week? It got really cold in the night, especially when we're wearing uniform that's completely soaked with sweat. And yes, I didn't brush my teeth for the first 3 days cuz I couldn't find my toothbrush and toothpaste that were deeply buried in my field pack. I could feel the layer of plaque that was formed on my teeth. Yucks! Of course, physical training is part and parcel of any activities in army.

Okay, I shall not condemn so much. The most important reason that pushes me on is that I know I'm not suffering alone. Despite the exhaustion, the dirt and the heat rash that developed on my back, I just carry on doing what I was supposed to do, though, I must say, I don't really see why I was even there but I treated it as another experience that I must go through.

The reason to rejoice about now is that I've fulfilled the requirements to complete BMT and I won't be asked to go for recourse. The last component is IPPT for which a diagnostic test will be conducted tomorrow! =.=" I shan't say anything - whatever will be will be.

You know what, I actually wanted myself to fall sick since the first week but I simply can't! LOL. Much as I want to skip IPPT and SOC, I can't because I've no valid reason. Falling sick is the only way for me but I couldn't. No way will I ever attempt to malinger as it's an offence. Sigh. [Diao~~~ (I know)]

powder bath week

2009-02-07T22:35:00.003+08:00

Pretty fun week. "BANG!" Haha.

And it's field camp for the coming week. I foresee myself going to the field camp site looking green and probably coming back brown, because of the mud if it rains, which I really hope it won't. Just let tekong be free of any raindrops for this week, heaven. Anyway, I will never do big business as far as possible. Lol.

There'd be IPPT trial test the week after next. So shitty.

BMT

2009-02-01T12:02:00.004+08:00

6 more weeks to endure through before POP. Gonna book-in later at 20 15.
I dunno about Singapore mainland but I've not seen any raindrops in Tekong since 070109. Damn it. Boiling hot. It's made even more uncomfortable for me as I'm one who perspires like nobody business. The only short moment I enjoy is after my shower. It's just refreshing.

To book-out, I must book-in. That means that I'd have to endure at least 5 days per week. And mind you, each day in Tekong is as if it has been 3 days in mainland.

Expecting more RTs for myself since I'm expected to pass IPPT, which I thought is rather difficult. Somehow, I've lost the desire to pass this test after doing it for so many years already. Lame.

Expectation sucks.
EZ-link adult fare sucks.

P.S.: Gonna have dessers at Ji De Chi, JP2 with my family before booking-in later. (Durian, I'm coming!) =p

dread to enter NS =(

2009-01-04T23:46:00.005+08:00

First of all, though it's a bit late, Happy New Year 2009! =D

It's been quite a while since my last entry. Have been rather busy for the past month but definitely I've led an enriching and rewarding life. Not only do I work to earn, I also work to learn, which is far more essential than the former. Ultimately, it's the skills you've acquired that you can truly make use of and make it big in life. Of course, I also got the chance to meet different kinds of people and make many new friends indeed! Making new friends is the best part, I'd think. Throughout my short journey, I learnt new life lessons which gave me a new perspective towards what the reality of today's world is like. I got to know more about myself too, and have especially understood that there're areas for improvements which I would like and must improve upon to become a better person. For instance, I sort of know how to communicate better, at least. Attended my last group-up before entering NS this afternoon, and once again I learn something: Most people would decide to change their profession just because they didn't see the results yet in their current profession, but the question is how sure are they that they can succeed in their next field of choice when they haven't even persist long enough to see how far they can go in their current profession? This has enlightened me as I was really feeling down the past few days because of the obstacles I faced and I actually wasted my time wallowing in self-despair. (I may look fine and relax but I'm not.) I count myself fortunate to have the chance to learn directly from the successful leaders.

Gonna to be enlisted on 7th Jan 09 and need to report at 10.30am. I really dread to enter NS but I've got no choice, do I? I was actually really looking forward to NS life because I supposed it would be like the Student Council camps that build camaraderie with fellow mates until I heard testimonials from those serving the nation or ORD already that NS life is really boring and is a waste of time. Of course, it may be a matter of perception but the ratio of number of people telling my NS is a waste of time far outweighs those who said the opposite. Till now, I've never heard of anyone saying that NS is fun. Well, how could I have had such a projection of NS life, right? Perhaps in a few days' time when I am undergoing BMT, I would be lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, having thoughts such as: What the hell am I doing here in the middle of the night? =.-"
And I have not finshed packing my stuff yet; I just hope that I don't have to care at all! Not only have I not packed my stuff, I haven't been training physically at all! Not even jogging or whatsoever. And I've just visualised myself panting ferociously.

Personally, I have many limitations for me to break through. One of them is that I dislike people to set goals or expectations for me even though goal-setting is important to success or one will be doing things blindly. The end-result is either I achieve the goals or I haven't; it's a 50:50 kind of thing. When I did not manage to meet the expectations, not only will the goal-setters be disappointed, I myself feel disappointed as well. Not that I'll always fail but just that there's a higher probability for me not to meet the expectations - that's the problem. I'd rather no people to set goals for me so that the above-mentioned won't happen. But the reality is that I will only end up doing things blindly without a vision in mind. I do understand the importance of goal-settings, and not to change the goals whatever the circumstances might be if we want to achieve success, and yes I'll have to break this limit, somehow.

I'd want to highlight that there's a difference between business and interests. Business is something which you involve in that allows you to put money into your pocket so as to at least sustain a living; interests are things which you engage in because you enjoy doing them. To date, my interest has not changed - Dance.

Alright, this should be my last entry before somebody shaves off my hair after paying 2 bucks. Till then, ta-ta!

Please, do not give promises if you do not have the intention to fulfil them. It's heart-breaking.

Inspiring Quotes

2008-12-14T22:12:00.006+08:00

Be inspired!

Life is rarely, if not never, a smooth-sailing one. Depression and sadness are emotions that we will inevitably experience perhaps many times in our lives. But with a positive mindset and attitude, and a strong belief and mentality, we can achieve our goals and dreams. :)

There's 88 inspiring quotes which I would like to share, so take your time and be inspired! You can, of course, come back again another time to continue read on.
Cheers!

"It is easy to sit up and take notice. What is difficult is getting up and taking action."
"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."
"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to
make it worth the effort."
"I've come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that's as unique as a fingerprint and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you."
"Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them. You will find that they haven't half the strength you think they have."
"Never tell a young person that anything cannot be done. God may have been waiting centuries for someone ignorant enough of the impossible to do that very thing"
"People forget how fast you did a job - but they remember how well you did it."
"Every problem has a gift for you in its hands."
"We don't live in a world of reality, we live in a world of perceptions."
"The harder you fall, the higher you bounce."
"You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try."
"Our destiny changes with our thought;
we shall become what we wish to become,
do what we wish to do, when our habitual thought
corresponds with our desire."
"If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living."
"Every problem has in it the seeds of its own solution. If you don't have any problems, you don't get any seeds."
"It is impossible to win the race unless you venture to run, impossible to win the victory unless you dare to battle."
"Put yourself in a state of mind where you say to yourself, Here is an opportunity for me to celebrate like never before, my own power, my own
ability to get myself to do whatever is necessary."
"The greatest use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it."
"No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit."
"Good, better, best; never let it rest till your good is better and your better is best."
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't."
"The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing."
"The victory of success is half won when one gains the habit of setting goals and achieving them. Even the most tedious chore will become endurable as you parade through each day convinced that every task, no matter how menial or boring, brings you closer to fulfilling your dreams."
"It's the friends you can call up at four a.m. that matter."
"The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances."
"Conquering any difficulty always gives one a secret joy, for it means pushing back a boundary-line and adding to one's liberty."
"Every exit is an entry somewhere."
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
"I would rather lose in a cause that I know some day will triumph than to triumph in a cause that I know some day will fail."
"Most of us ask for advice when we know the answer but we want a different one."
"Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were."
"Keep your fears to yourself, but share your courage with others."
"Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later."
"Opportunities, many times, are so small that we glimpse them not and yet they are often the seeds of great enterprises. Opportunities are also everywhere and so you must always let your hook be hanging. When you least expect it, a great fish will swim by."
"If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable."
"A compliment is a gift, not to be thrown away carelessly, unless you want to hurt the giver."
"You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, Why not?"
"A great part of courage is the courage of having done the thing before."
"There are so many things that we wish we had done yesterday, so few that we feel like doing today."
"Those who are not looking for happiness are the most likely to find it, because those who are searching forget that the surest way to be happy is to seek happiness for others."
"Each of us makes his own weather, determines the color of the skies in the emotional universe which he inhabits."
"We do not know the true value of our moments until they have undergone the test of memory."
"Only one thing has to change for us to know happiness in our lives: where we focus our attention."
"There are no shortcuts to any place worth going."
"Just don't give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don't think you can go wrong."
"We don't know who we are until we see what we can do."
"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them."
"Above all, challenge yourself. You may well suprise yourself at what strengths you have, what you can accomplish."
"Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand - and melting like a snowflake."
"One of the most sublime experiences we can ever have is to wake up feeling healthy after we have been sick."
"Getting ahead in a difficult profession requires avid faith in yourself. That is why some people with mediocre talent, but with great inner drive, go much further than people with vastly superior talent."
"Unless you believe, you will not understand."
"The truth is that we can learn to condition our minds, bodies, and emotions to link pain or pleasure to whatever we choose. By changing what we link pain and pleasure to, we will instantly change our behaviors."
"Stride forward with a firm, steady step knowing with a deep, certain inner knowing that you will reach every goal you set yourselves, that you will achieve every aim ."
"Learn from the past, set vivid, detailed goals for the future, and live in the only moment of time over which you have any control: now."
"Concentration comes out of a combination of confidence and hunger."
"The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money."
"Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact."
"I have learned this at least by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."
"A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials."
"There is a real magic in enthusiasm. It spells the difference between mediocrity and accomplishment."
"Obstacles are necessary for success because in selling, as in all careers of importance, victory comes only after many struggles and countless defeats. Yet each struggle, each defeat, sharpens your skills and strengths, your courage and your endurance, your ability and your confidence and thus each obstacle is a comrade-in-arms forcing you to become better or quit. Each rebuff is an opportunity to move forward; turn away from them, avoid them, and you throw away your future."
"It's good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's good to check up once in a while to make sure you haven't lost the things that money can't buy."
"Dwell not upon thy weariness, thy strength shall be according to the measure of thy desire."
"It is no use saying, 'We are doing our best.' You have got to succeed in doing what is necessary."
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all."
"Happiness, or misery, is in the mind. It is the mind that lives."
"With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose." - Unknown "This above all: to thine own self be true..."
"You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through."
"Most of us have far more courage than we ever dreamed we possessed."
"Whatever you want to do, do it now. There are only so many tomorrows."
"Others have done it before me. I can, too."
"The happy people are those who are producing something; the bored people are those who are consuming much and producing nothing."
"Every moment of your life is infinitely creative and the universe is endlessly bountiful. Just put forth a clear enough request, and everything your heart desires must come to you."
"Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in this life has a purpose."
"There are admirable potentialities in every human being. Believe in your strength and your youth. Learn to repeat endlessly to yourself, 'It all depends on me."
"Honor your challenges, for those spaces that you label as dark are actually there to bring you more light."
"You must take action now that will move you towards your goals. Develop a sense of urgency in your life."
"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal."
"I will act now. I will act now. I will act now. Henceforth, I will repeat these words each hour, each day, everyday, until the words become as much a habit as my breathing, and the action which follows becomes as instinctive as the blinking of my eyelids. With these words I can condition my mind to perform every action necessary for my success. I will act now. I will repeat these words again and again and again. I will walk where failures fear to walk. I will work when failures seek rest. I will act now for now is all I have. Tomorrow is the day reserved for the labour of the lazy. I am not lazy. Tomorrow is the day when the failure will succeed. I am not a failure. I will act now. Success will not wait. If I delay, success will become wed to another and lost to me forever. This is the time. This is the place. I am the person."
"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect."
"It's not knowing what to do, it's doing what you know."
"Welcome every morning with a smile. Look on the new day as another special gift from your Creator, another golden opportunity to complete what you were unable to finish yesterday. Be a self-starter. Let your first hour set the theme of success and positive action that is certain to echo through your entire day. Today will never happen again. Don't waste it with a false start or no start at all. You were not born to fail."
"Falling into the deepest valley is nothing to fear. It just means that you are in the perfect position to climb the World's highest mountain."
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."
"Remember, happiness doesn't depend on what you have, it depends solely upon what you think."
"You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses."
"That which we persist on doing becomes easier - not that the nature of the task has changed, but our ability to do has increased."
"What worries you masters you."

人生

2008-12-08T21:05:00.004+08:00

好啦，我终于为我的部落格更新了！这应该是我第一次以华文来叙述我对人生的心情吧。已经好久没有写文章了，不晓得脑袋有没有生锈，写出让人明白的东西。

最近的生活过得很充实，过得与一般人不一样。也许正是因为时间过得实在充实，时间也似乎飞得很快，转眼间，已快要到两个星期了。每天忙忙碌碌地过日子，其实也并不是件辛苦的事。至少这段时间使我对这世界大开眼界，学习到了在职场上所需要注意的事项，样样都马虎不得。从对工作的责任感，至人与人之间的相处关系，及如何做到有效的沟通，甚至到自己对人生的态度，皆让我以崭新的视角去窥探。工作或许会使人感到灰心、疲惫，但却是这样的心情才让我觉得真正活着。所以，我也还蛮享受工作所带来的疲惫，只要凡事问心无愧，我已很满足了。其实，辛苦不见得是辛苦；辛苦或许才是幸福。一些人想要辛苦，却无法达成。另一些人可以辛苦，恐惧和怯懦却征服了他们。这又是何等悲哀啊。

公司在一次每月举行一次的小组开会时，给我们播放了录影带。最让我印象深刻及倍感感动的是关于一位老妇人天生就没有双臂的人生经历。由于天生的缺陷，凡事得以双脚来代劳。一般人根本无法想象没有双臂的日子将会如何去度过，但这位老妇人没有被打倒。她的双脚可做的事可多了，不管是洗脸、拾螃蟹、煎蛋、包饺子，甚至还可以写出漂亮整齐的字，都难不到她！现场观看着录影带的人，没有一个不张大嘴巴，发出哗然的声音。老妇人如此坚强的求生意志，让我打从心底佩服她。看到了她的经历，我所面对的困难根本不值一谈。

十八年的日子快要结束了。十八年来，我不知到在别人的眼中，我是个怎样的人。小气？吝啬？无聊？或许吧。其实我是个怎样的人，连我自己也不是很清楚。有时，知道未必比不知道来得好。知道又如何？逃避也不见得是件坏事。当然，我不是在鼓励逃避现实。我们还是要有一定的智慧去决定哪些事情才是值得我们不需百分之百的了解。听起来，好像有点儿矛盾，是吧？嗯。。。我不知道。我只知道我的心似乎总有一个方针，它有能力指引我下一步该往哪里走。或许，是靠感觉吧。十八年来，也没留下什么啦，除了那些在慢慢淡化的记忆。

0705 Class Dinner

2008-11-21T13:39:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was a tiring day! Woke up at 5.23am in preparation for my final A level paper - Bio P1. At 9.15pm, the official end of JC life was declared! Yay! Truly a relief... Phew... There's Class Dinner at Fish n Co later. Before that, I went home, of course (not as if I would wait like a moron till 6.45pm), and go online to watch videos and most importantly, catch the cantonese radio live show on the internet! I love the way how people use cantonese to communicate, it somehow could make a communication, even boring topics, seems interesting enough to keep you listen. Also, I got to learn some new cantonese words through their chatting. For those who understand cantonese who might want to listen, click: omlive. The hosts are Don Li and Colleen. FYI, Don Li is one of the actors in Ten Brothers! He acted as the No. 4. He's also a singer and the songs on this blog was sung by him. Their sessions are on every Wed and Thur, 4pm - 6pm. One of the most interesting topics they chatted was when Don talked about he defaecated in his pants in school and the embarrassing moments! LOL!!! They also have talked about how they learn swimming which was very beneficial to people like me...

So after that, I rushed to take the MRT to Dhoby Ghaut but I was, however, late. But thanks to Ragha who alighted at the NEL, I wasn't the lastest - I was the second latest. Phew~
Had seafood platter as our dinner. Though I didn't eat alot but they suffice to keep my stomach full, much better than buffet in which I will definitely lose out since my stomach can't seem to endure any more weight after 40 min or so. After our dinner, for dunno-what reason, we actually went 'hiking' at Fort Canning. Actually the walk wasn't that bad considering that it aided in the digestion and with the beautiful night scenery, as well as the seemingly eerie atmosphere and buildings that surrounded us while we were walking through the dark walkways. Some even took lesbian marriage photos outside the ROM with the security guard watching! =.= Next, we walked towards Clarke Quay and took a seat in the Häagen-Dazs where some had chocolate fondue with fruits. With only a pathetic 10 bucks left in my wallet, I had to give up the delectable fondue. Oh well...

Anyway, I think I will give up yet another thing, that is the chance to pursue undergraduate studies in top China universities with PSC China scholarship. I've checked the courses which are available already which I'm not interested in even though I don't mind studying them. The courses are Economics, Political Science, Chinese Language and Literature and Science, and Engineering. Oh please, I've vowed that I'll not be writing Chinese characters anymore unless I work in China. Study for 4 years and serve the bond for 5 years are certainly not what I want me life to be like.

Right now, I should be worrying about making $, $ and more $!

榕树/李逸朗

2008-11-16T01:20:00.005+08:00

榕树 by 李逸朗

好感动啊！T_T
在讲述妈妈与孩子的美好！
不错听的啊！

after 1 week of A level

2008-11-08T19:41:00.002+08:00

I remember I wrote "Dream big" as the last 2 words in my GP P1. For those who are having A level this year, you should know which question I did. Thinking back, I thought I was rather hypocritical, and perhaps stereotypical. Seriously, how important really is dreams in today's context, especially when we are all living in a rat race society? I need some enlightenment. But for exam sake, I wrote as an optimistic writer about this world, convincing the examiners, as well as myself, that though the world today is becoming increasingly complicated, dreams are nonetheless important for dreams give us the much needed motivation, and that nothing great had ever been achieved without bold dreams. Hmmm...

Pure math was rather difficult while statistics was okay. I just felt glad that I've managed to solve the triangle question using cosine formula after thinking real hard, a question which was supposedly easy but many people either didn't recall cosine formula or couldn't link both binomial and Maclaurin's expansion to solving it.

Bio P2 was tough! So tough that I spent more time than given thinking what the answer should be that I didn't manage to complete the paper - I left a 2-mark suggest-type question blank. I thought that the standard was prelim standard, if not higher. And I realised that school papers were so much easier in comparison. I think the difference was school papers were easy to do but hard to score, while A level was hard to do, needless to mention if one could score easily. It really made you crack your brain that you probably prefer to run 2.4km, rather than feeling breathless in a well-ventilated air-con hall. Must really do well for P3...no choice...

Chem P3 was okay, at least is wasn't as difficult as the other papers so far. I only have myself to blame for committing stupid careless mistakes, and perhaps changed to doing question 1 in the last 20 min after I couldn't get a logical H:C ratio in question 2. Anyway, there's no point dwelling in too much since they're already OVER. It's wiser and better to prepare for future papers... jia you!

PS: 十兄弟 is a nice show! Channel 8 7pm weekdays. haha

巴黎恋人

2008-10-17T22:42:00.005+08:00

Click the link below to listen to a LOVELY SONG!
陪在你身边 - 曹成模 (“巴黎恋人”片尾曲)

Lyrics:

《陪你在身边》的歌词哦

是否知道我始终想起你雪白笑容
让我不经意的微笑
也许我的双眼对你思念更深
因为我一直看到你的身影
爱情对我而言很陌生
也从来不曾爱过任何人
所以试着抹去占据我心的你

可不可以爱上你
我们可不可以开始相爱
满是伤痕的心也许会让你流泪
我不懂爱要怎么说
不懂该如何拥抱你
唯一能给的这份心却没有勇气守护你

你是否愿意爱我
我已经习惯的雪白笑容
它开启了我人生的早晨
我好期待你的日子里也有我
而且越来越渴望
偶尔在你的眼中看到我以外的另一个人
我就像站在悬崖的尽头般绝望

可不可以爱上你
我们可不可以开始相爱
满是伤痕的心也许会让你流泪
我不懂爱要怎么说
不懂该如何拥抱你
唯一能给的这份心却没有勇气守护你

你是否愿意爱我
我不曾相信爱情我也不曾爱过
但是你却填满了我空虚的心
用你满心的爱

ma la lu in ni, nen ma lia, no ye ha ya nu su mi,
吗来路硬你，南马呀，耨也哈呀努苏米，

cha ku mang, ki yiong nang, pa bu chor liao mu ke tui
掐酷忙， hi 一那，怕不巧聊木可对

na bo da kong qiong, ne nu li,
那播大空炯，内努里，

mi ka ku gi wo na cha jia, ka leng ji~ nu luo lu bu ke tui
米卡酷 gi 我那掐家，卡冷机~ 努落卢不可对

mie nu ni su ka ji na la sor
迈努你苏卡机那拉搜

u gu do sa lang nang jor gor sor sor
屋古读撒浪囊巧够艘艘

cha ku go jor ga nu, nor lu ji mo bor ji mang
掐酷够桥该努，挪卢机莫博机忙

nor lu sa lang he dor tui ge ni
挪卢撒浪 hi 夺对给你

hu li shi zha ke dor tui ke~n ni
互里时家可夺对肯~ 你

na e sang jor ma lun ka su mi
那一桑巧吗轮卡苏米

nor lu u ge hai qi dor u la
挪卢屋挤海其夺屋拉

sa lang mang mu e ju mo la sor
撒浪忙木哎句莫拉艘

nor lu a no ju lu mu la sor
挪卢啊耨句卢木拉艘

de ga ju su e nu, ma hu~n ma lu nu,
德该句苏一努，吗互~ 吗卢努，

nuai ji ka me liong ge on~ng nun na
吗机卡灭冷 gi 哦~ 囊那

sa lang e jior ge~n ni~
撒浪一就该~ 你~

na lu s ke qior, pa lu sor, no ye ha ya nu su mi,
那卢苏该桥，怕卢艘，耨也哈呀努苏米，

ha qi mun, ge u nun, na e sa i dui o sor
哈其吗，该物浓，那呀撒一对哦艘

mang ki de ha gor, hi sor sor,
忙 ki 德哈够， hi 艘艘，

no ye ha lu hui dor ne ga hi gi lu
耨也哈卢会夺内噶 hi gi 卢

tor pa la ke de sor~
拖怕拉可德艘~

ke kun no ye nu bi su bi sor
卡古耨也努笔苏笔艘

na a nin nu gun ga lu ku die miao
那啊民努古噶卢酷跌秒

miao lang ku te sang du, chong nang in na ge wo sor
秒浪酷特桑读，冲囊硬那给屋艘

nor lu sa lang he dor tui ge ni
挪卢撒浪 hi 夺对给你

hu li shi zha ke dor tui ke~n ni
湖里时家可夺对肯~ 你

na e sang jor ma lun ka su mi
那一桑巧吗轮卡苏米

nor lu u ge hai qi dor u la
挪卢物给海其夺物拉

sa lang mang mu e ju mo la sor
撒浪忙木哎句我拉艘

nor lu a no ju lu mu la sor
挪卢啊耨句卢木拉艘

de ga ju su e nu, ma hu~n ma lu nu,
德该句苏一努，吗湖~ 吗卢努，

nuai ji ka me liong ge on~ng nun na
吗机卡灭冷该哦~ 囊那

sa lang e jior ge~n ni~
撒浪一桥肯~ 你

sa lang mi dor ben jior or sor sor
撒浪米夺奔巧哦艘艘

sa lang he ben jior du or sor sor
撒浪 hi 奔桥读哦艘艘

tong bin ga su mor lu, sa lang ga dor~ng nan,
同饼噶苏莫卢，撒浪噶夺~ 南

ka du ki long che u gor i sor
卡读 ki 龙车物够一艘

ma e sa lang nu lor
吗一撒浪努落

The tune is quite catchy.
Even though you (or we) might not know what the song is about in Korean language, you could take a look at the translated Chinese lyrics.
and touched by it. =]]

=DDD

jia you for a level =)

BLOG ON TEMPORARY HIATUS

2008-08-25T00:19:00.006+08:00

After getting to know that failing exams in JC especially are pretty common after all, I can't help but to feel comforted that I'm not those exceptionally poor ones for flunging tests and exams throughout my JC years. Of course, that doesn't mean you can slack, it just means that you have to work hard to close the gap between your acqured knowledge and the expectations of the teachers.

If asked to do a summary of my results (both tests and exams) for whole of these 2 years, it is not really a difficult task since I can only be bothered with just a few alpahabets (the grades). LOL.
The first thing I would do, or rather I have to do, is to eliminate the first alphabet from the 26 letters. Then, for the second alphabet, it takes no sweat at all for me to tell you the frequency: once. For the third letter in the sequence of the 26 letters, it is relatively easy too since I just have to add just a few more numbers from that for 'B'. I guess it's about 6 ?? For D & E (they do not stand for Diversity and Evolution, a chapter in Biology - they are the grades, for your information), they are perhaps the mode for my assessments results. Let me emphasize, it is 'perhaps'. For US (not United States nor the word 'us', I just group these 2 grades together since they seem to be rather united and are always competing with each other to be imprinted onto my test papers), this might be a bit tedious for me because I can easily lose count of the numbers when counting.

Anyway, I guess you know what I am driving at - that is, my results have LOTS OF AREAS FOR IMPROVEMENTS.
If they were to be plotted on a graph, you will see a strictly monotonic increasing curve starting from the origin. And yes, you will be able to obtain an inverse function. (sorry, a bit of Math here) And the rate of change increases with increasing x. And be sure to leave enough space for the 1st quadrant, or rather the space for plotting y-values, too.

Okay, I shall not disregard your wish, so I am going to stop crapping.

Just watched the Beijing Olympics Closing Ceremony. I must say that the Olympics, on the whole, had been very successful, perhaps exceeding the expectations of many when they initially thought that China couldn't have been able to host a smooth and satisfactory Olympics. Beijing Olympics 2008 just wowed me, especially the Opening Ceremony. Both the Opening and Closing ceremonies were just marvellous, thanks to Zhang Yi-mou. London has admitted that they are feeling the pressure and commented that the high standard put up by China is indeed hard to emulate. I wonder if Singapore is feeling the pressure too for hosting the very first Youth Olympics Games in 2010. Will we wow the world then?

Below are some burning Bio questions I have. Some people to enlighten me please if you know the answers, either personally or through tagboard? Thanks in advance.

Since prokaryotes have no mitochondria, how do they obtain energy? Or do they have other mechanisms which we did not learn?
I know that Nucleic Acid Hybridisation is carried out after Gel Electrophoresis. But what's the purpose of Nucleic Acid Hybridisation? I just couldn't recall, suddenly.
Why is it that [cAMP] is inversely proportional to [glucose]? WHY?
What is the role and function of CAP, as discussed with regarding to lac operon?
Is embryonic stem cells equivalent to blastocyst? Does the ovum need to be fertilised before it develops into a blastocyst? I think, for the latter, it is 'no'. But why and how that an ovum could actually develop into a blastocyst?

I guess I just need some good Bio notes.

4 more days to GP Prelim.
And guess what, Chemistry department had actually set the Chem prelim paper pitched against RJ standard. Luckily, the college has decided to reduce the difficulties to VJ/TJ/NJ standard. In any case, it would be more difficult than Mid-year. Good luck to me.
And I seriously need to improve my Math by alot.
I shall abandon my blog from this moment onwards.

Disappointed with myself with my interpersonal skills. I'm just not good at it. Maybe I could truly communicate effectively only when in touch with the soul and spirit. How intangible. I guess very few people, or even none, could ever understand.

像一股清风一样来了，又悄无声息地荡去；而那至深的情丝，竟在招手之间，幻成了“西天的云彩”。那三个“轻轻的”，不忍惊动，不愿惊动。看似安静，实则沉重。
表现出的飘逸洒脱，实际上是难忍的万千离愁。来的喜悦，走的忧伤，如那一缕清风，淡淡的盘桓在似有若无中。
心潮起伏，思绪难平“波光里的艳影，在我的心头荡漾”，恍若回到了从前。
今梦虽破，而那彩虹般斑斓的碎片依旧那么绚丽多姿。梦沉淀在康河里，心也沉淀在康河里。
眼前那一谭青绿的泉水，幻成了“天上虹”，而在这“榆荫下的一谭”中，那星辉的斑斓，不正是被揉碎的彩虹般的梦么？
还能如过去一样“撑一支长篙”漫溯于康河之上，“满载一船星辉，在星辉斑斓里放歌”吗？
将这些都寄托给萧声，深沉舒缓的笙箫“如怨如慕，如泣如诉”。
我梦且未碎，心仍如昨，但站在这梦的胚芽潜滋暗长的康河，怎能不感慨良多“便纵有千种风情，更与何人说”。
就让那份美好，永远积淀在康河，永远尘封在记忆的画册。不要去惊扰，更无需去打破。
内心的苦涩、怅惘和某种难以言说的苦衷与悲哀。
“悄悄的走”如同“悄悄的来”，纵有千般不舍，更多的却是万般无奈。
寂然凝虑，满含着无限的眷恋与期待，心里不舍但故作潇洒，“挥一挥衣袖，不带走一片云彩”，留下那情真意切的依依深情。

fear

2008-08-19T21:39:00.002+08:00

I was relieved when I was promoted to JC2 upon receiving Promotional Exam result slip.
I did horrendously for JC2 Block Test but was fortunate that I was not demoted to JC1.
I unexpectedly improved from Block Test results in the Mid-Year Exam, partly due to the greater area for improvement since my reults for BT were damn bad.

It was certainly not easy for me to meet the expectations of the college for exams.
A tough journey for me, it is.

Just as I thought that I shall endure till the end of A level, the principal announced during morning assembly that "the college reserves the right to make you do a U-turn if you underperform for prelims".

My jaws dropped.

I've made it thus far.
Yet there's no guarantee that I can take my A level at the end of the year.

fear~
x_x

school

2008-08-16T20:26:00.004+08:00

Time trials, time trials and time trials.
School life basically revolves around time trials after mid-year exam.
Really have to thanks such arrangement, or I won't know how the tireness and pain of my hand would feel like.
-----------------------------------
Just endured a gruelling 6 hours of tests just now.
Cool. It's been quite some time since I went through 6 hours of tests in a day.
Sort of gotten used to it. =]
Firstly, there was a 3-hour Math Mock Paper 1 from 8am - 11am.
Followed by 3-hour of CLL P2 revision test from 1pm - 4pm.
It just feels so great after knowing that I've yet again endured through the mentally-draining tests.
Physically, there shouldn't by a big problem when doing a test. It's the mental strength that is the main factor whether or not you can carry on doing the paper.
IQ is not the only factor, EQ plays a rather major role too.
For me, given that IQ is not that high, needless to talk about EQ. =/
t_t
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Chem tutor has announced that Chemistry Prelim Exam will be difficult.
In fact, it'll be twice as hard.
*speechless*
----------------------------------
GP in-class compre next Mon.
CLL Paper 1 Part 2 test. 5.15pm - 6.45pm. =)
CLL Paper 1 Part 1 test. 5.15pm - 6.30pm. =)
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Looking forward to the end of next week.
Then it will be the official end of Term 3!
Week 10 will be study break.
Supposedly, there will be 2 weeks left before the commencement of Prelim.
BUT, GP Prelim on Thursday. *pray* GP is damn important!
Then, the next day, Fri, there is 3-hour Math Mock Paper 2 right after Teachers' Day. =)
----------------------------------
Some rumours here and there recently.
Sigh...
They're rather annoying.
Since I termed it as 'rumour', so stop being rumour-mongers and spreading untrue stuffs.
----------------------------------
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I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THE RELEASE OF S.H.E. ALBUM!
=p

unclassifiable

2008-08-11T12:41:00.003+08:00

Prelims is just round the corner.
Sad to day, I'm not fully prepared yet. Everything's so unlike O level.
I shall embrace the challenges that A level pose upon me.

Anyway, I suddenly realise one thing recently. I sort of know what I truly want to do - that is to dance. Yes, dance.
If not for the opportunities to dance in sec sch to perform, whether during student council camps, sec 1 orientation or teachers' day, I wouldn't know how greatly dance really interests me.
Not that I can't dance well anyway, I even think that I have the potential to become a, well, good dancer. If I had known such interest of mine earlier, like in P6, I would have joined Dance as my CCA. On the other hand, I was glad that I didn't join after knowing that all the members of Modern Dance are girls only, even though no gender restriction is imposed for the CCA. Oh well, I'm a little fickle-minded. =\

So after I realised that I like to dance, I wanted to join Dance in JC. Unfortunately, I didn't. Firstly, I couldn't find the teacher-in-charge because I didn't know what is the name of the teacher, nor how he/she looks like. Secondly, there was this innate fear of being mocked at if my movements were not as proficient as others who might have more experiences in Dance. Thirdly, the deadline to join a CCA was nearing then, and so I just went to join CCAs that I could find those teacher-in-charge, lest I ended with no CCA, and hence had nothing to write for SGC.

Why interest for dance? I pondered myself over this question. Hmmmm....perhaps I enjoy the moments on the stage where I dance. Perhaps I enjoy dancing with others and together, to bring a wonderful performance to the audience. Perhaps I like to be involved and be part of a dance specially choreographed. And perhaps, since I'm not a good conversationalist, which is why I'm so gonna screw up my interviews, I could only express myself through body movements. (I used could as I don't want to be so certain that I acknowlege it as a fact. =\)

I always admire those dancers, especially those who got the chance to dance with a star/singers, who can do what they like to do. They don't just get to earn, they are also doing what they are happy about.

If only there is a industry that involves dance ... ... ... (Ok, I think I am dreaming ...)
Reality kills dreams.
--------------------------------------------------------

Attended LEP Farewell last Friday after National Day celebration. Received lots of encouragement by the Principal, VP and teachers. My heartfelt gratitude to them!
A quote by Subject Coordinator Mr Pang,

学会的东西很忙
学会的东西很多
（里头蕴藏着双层意义）
We were served a very delicious Nasi Lemak meal after the farewell party. It was actually one of the main reasons that I attended - FOOD, which helped to settle my lunch. =D

Christian the Lion - Reunion

2008-07-30T20:02:00.000+08:00

Touching!

here i am!

2008-07-27T15:59:00.004+08:00

Alright, I shall blog so as not to disappoint those who have been visiting my site. >.<"

Firstly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO 23RD STUDENT COUNCIL!
5th July 2008 is our 3rd anniversary since we took over the office. Had a great time! and while we were walking towards clarke quay, we saw fireworks, as if they were celebrating with us too. LOL. think too much...

Mid-year results were released just few days after my last paper which was Bio P1. The teachers marked damn fast... Was awaiting my results with trepidation, vexing over how terrible I might fare this time round. I seemed to become not as confident as before towards my studies after getting all sorts of grades for major exams, EXCEPT 'A'.
Oh man, is my 'A' ever gonna to appear???

Now I can fully understand the value of 1 mark. For 2 subjects, I'm away from the next grade by a mere 1 mark. That cost my few ranking points.
On a high note, I'm glad I've improved from Block Test. My ranking points for mid-year doubled from the Block Test, can you imagine how horrendously I'd fared for that damn Block Test. I might as well just not attempt the Block Test papers, seriously.

Am glad for Chemistry and Maths. I swear that my heart was literally racing for dunno-what when my tutor was announcing our Chem results. And a second after my result was announced, my heartbeat went back to normal. Adrenaline rush...amazing... Anyway, I was commended with sarcarsm, something which I thought I should not deserve though it's not unexpected. lolx...

By the way, 0705 top the cohort! woohoo! Indeed, besides our tutor, I felt surprised too. 'Huh?!' was my first reaction.

Time-table was revamped for Term 3. No significant difference from my previous time-table. Went home at 5pm every day, except on Tue 3.45pm. But I thought it was okay, as long as the revision programmes are useful, which I thought they were.

Life hasn't been really exciting. Well, what can I ask for in JC? Nonetheless, there had been laughters, at least.

Endure! Endure!

happiness

2008-07-01T15:51:00.003+08:00

What defines happiness?
It's not just a state of contentment or satisfaction for your current life, nor is it just when things are good, but is when they are getting better.

Sometimes I am really a cynic, with a cynical view (duh!) that life is prolonged misery interrupted by brief moments of happiness. Till now, I can't seem to agree to disagree. Much as I desire happiness, it becomes an impossible tasks, considering the fact the there are numerous voids gradually expanding in my heart. Anyway, intense happiness is just a transient, fleeting sensation, which I thought was akin to the reaction intermediate in a multi-step reaction mechanism (learnt in Chemistry -.-) that cannot be isolated, and will cease to exist after a brief moment of time.

Sigh, with those poignant memories creeping into my mind every now and then, life seems to become an even more arduous undertaking.

Face it, life is never a bed of roses.
And I have to concede that this fact of life is indeed saddening.

in the midst of MYE period

2008-06-25T22:45:00.003+08:00

SO I took Chem P3 and Bio P2 today. Shan't do any postulations on my results since the level of disappointment will be proportional to the level of expectations.
I suddenly realised a trend in the duration of my exam time-table. 3 hours of Math P1 on Mon, total of 4 hours of Chem p3 & Bio P2, and a total of 5 hours of CLL P1 and Math P2 coming Friday. After this week, I would have taken 12 hours of exam, equivelant to half a day. And that's not it, there's still next week.

Oh man, I think I am suffering from some sort of "exam-anxiety" syndrome. Even though I made myself to lie on my bed at 11pm, I am somehow unable to travel to my dreamland for hours, and by the time I finally slept, I think the clock is showing 1am or perhaps 2am. Consequently, I only had 3 - 4 hours of sleep instead of 6. [V_V]

Had been watching SHE videos on Crunchyroll. So funny! Oh well, need to take a break after intensive studying and shall continue tomorrow to memorise Chinese and also to practise Math.
Functions, Maclaurin's Series, Area and Volume by Integration and perhaps some Vectors might come out for P2. And I seriously need some logical thinking or I can't do P&C and Probability!

Oh ya, I love my mum!
LOLz....
I'm quite random, at times.

Enough of blogging, I shall go and watch more SHE videos =]

mid-year exam

2008-06-21T22:45:00.002+08:00

MID-YEAR EXAM!

SHIT! I am so scared now.

3-hour MATH P1 on Monday.
Hope that it is really a 3-hour paper for me, and not 1-hour or any less (that is, there are many questions which I dunno how to go about solving them). *Touchwood!

Chem P3 & Bio P2 on Wednesday.
CHEMISTRY - my greatest source of phobia.
If only my tutor could believe in me that I can eventually make it for A level for this subject, then perhaps I can relax myslf a bit and not getting myself too stressed up. If only no one is bugging me to drop any subjects no matter what my mid-year results would be... and have faith in me...
Perhaps some people out there thought that I am obstinate and perhaps, shameless. But I have no time, nor do I want, to care about their perception for me. I'll just have to carry on with my life as usual, along with faith.
Chem tutor has said before that the mid-year exam serves to 'kill' us. Oh man... Nothing being said now will aid in better my grades. I just have to perform my best abilities during exam. I want to pass, and, if possible, get better grades.

BIOLOGY - the subject which I have always been passionate about, and was my most confident subject in sec sch and O level. I want to reverse my JC Bio exam results trend. Oh man... =\

CLL P1 and MATH P2 on Friday.
For this June holiday, I TOTALLY and ABSOLUTELY did not even read my CHINESE LANG & LIT stuff at all! Well, I wanted to devote my time to other subjects actually.

MATH P2 - Hopefully can score for Statistics, provided that the questions are not asked in such a way that I don't know what it wants.

Alright, I know I should be studying instead!

25th SLC

2008-06-14T10:08:00.002+08:00

Just came back from the SLC organised by the 25th SC - their last event working together, as is with any other batch of SC from JSS. Expectedly, sense of nostalgia was stirred up while watching the campers being punished together and yet not forgetting to encourage one another to 'endure!'.

Many seniors from 16th, 18th, 19th, 20th, 22nd, 23rd and 24th SC came back to help out in this camp, though some of them only wish to participate in one special event organised during SLC. But for me, the objective is not for the special event, but rather for the sense of togetherness being in the big family of Student Council, as well as to be a part in the mission of grooming leaders. One can easily notice that in every batch, there are always a few who are very 'on' one who will definitely come back without fail to help out, perhaps this is due to the level of commitment.

Just 4 hours ago, yet another batch of leaders have successfully endured through the test. Congrats to the upcoming 26th SC. At the same time, it just means that I am getting older, just like other seniors who whine about their age difference compared to the campers. Time flies.

Enjoyed myself during my stay in the SLC. Had lots of laughters! Lolz...

Allan Er Jun Yao

Alright, the purpose of blogging right now despite not having my sleep for 29 hours is so that my hair will dry because I just showered. Since my hair is almost dry, and I am almost zonked out, I shall stop and head for bed... ...

some deep-seated thoughts

2008-06-12T23:47:00.003+08:00

Just wanna pen down some of the many deep-seated thoughts that are in my mind these past few days / months / years... (i think i lost count of the period of time already -.-)

When somebody has lost something that is deemed invaluable, it is only 'normal', 'natural' and 'correct' that he/she desires very much for it to be returned back to him/her. Being the descendants of Neanderthals, if you believe in evolution theory that is, it is only natural and logical that you couldn't forget that invaluable 'thing' so easily simply because Homo sapiens do have feelings. When people advised you to 'Forget about it. There's more to life to look forward to', besides being grateful that you have such supportive friends around you, in reality it is actually not easy, or I should just say very difficult, to just 'forget about it'. I think this stems from the fact that humans are not cold-blooded animals, all of us have the ability to feel emotions. Hence unless you belong to the group of total cruel, naive, benumbed or apathetic etc, you wouldn't agree or believe that you could forget something that easily and simply.

The point I'm driving at is that something that have had been able to become one of the most memorable events in your life are hard to completely forget, especially if they are the very first time you got to experience and learn to appreciate the beauty of it. I believe that the first-times are events that will be etched in one's mind the most deeply, perhaps because it is the first time that a particular part of the brain got triggered by the emotions stirred. Since these first-time experiences are so unforgettable, just like indelible marks which have been impressed in one's memory, it is inevitable that one will relate similar experiences he/she meets again with the first-time experience. Very often, one wouldn't want to accept these new similar experiences unless the emotions stimulated are so much 'better' / 'superior' than the first-time experience, so much so that makes them feel that they are fortunate to miss their first-time. Only then would one want to risk to forget their first-time and allow the new experience to gradually occupy their lives fully. Still, some fragments of the first-time memory remain etched in their minds.

Before I met you, I never ever imagine myself how good it would be if I were to be in some relationship. Though I saw lovey-dovey couples before, I never take the trouble to seriously contemplate what exactly is so nice about it. How could somebody suddenly like to be with another person so much when both of them were still strangers beforehand. The process is too complicated for me to illustrate then.
Suddenly, you approached me and talked to me after a lesson when the class was walking down to canteen for recess. I was shocked, since we rarely or never actually talked before. I vaguely remembered that you said I was 'cute', or 'handsome' (lolx.... (",)) and seemed interested in me. At that point of time, I dunno how to react, and so I exhibit my usual humorous way in responding back to you, and you laughed, and I continued my way to canteen with my friend.
Back in class, you approached to my seat and talked to me again. For fear of you liking me, I treated you coldly, since I had always been skeptical about being involved in any relationship then when I still had no idea what that feeling is exactly. You realised that I was beginning to treat you coldly whenever you talked to me, and to resolve the situation and to salvage the friendship, you then told me that you had never thought what I thought you had in mind. At that moment, I was relieved that history wouldn't be happening again like when I was in P4. I just said, "Okay okay" to you, trying to tell you that I knew you didn't have that thought, though I knew very well I was deceiving, and you looked relieved that you didn't cause an end to a friendship and walked back to your seat.
Since that day, we started to talk to each other more often, and it was so frequent that you became the one I talked most with. Somehow, I began to see the first glimpse of light guiding me to the knowledge of being in a relationship. The process itself is indeed complex, which can be attributed to my initial unconceivableness of this subject matter. Problems arose when the fact that each of us has a network of friends, as is with anybody else, and similar feelings may be stirred upon in different individuals concurrently, and these made the matter even more complex. I found myself somehow lost between human-to-human relationship, and found myself floating in the middle of an ocean knowing no knowledge of the right direction I should be heading to. Confused and lack of courage, I stay put in my life. But the rest had been able to find their way out of this complex issue. I admit that jealousy overwhelmed me then but I managed to suppress it from erupting, like I have always been. Still water runs deep. I think I am one, a thinker who is analytical and think deeply about an issue.
Now, things are not exactly the same. Having tried dipping myself in the river of the Lethe, I think the river has failed its power on me, or perhaps I didn't dip myself fully in the river, the first-time trigger is still there somewhere. I have no idea how this is going to end up. I just hope that each of us follows our heart, and not commit to whatever actions hastily which may lead to regrets later in life or find out that perhaps one has acted against the will of destiny. If these were to ever happen, I guess one will feel an extremely unbearable angst.
Having been evolved to an organism with a complex mind, a person may change, in terms of character, mindset or perception, perhaps due to exposure to new events and thus, new experiences. Such thing may happen - that is a person changes, but I doubt the extent is very great. Some things just are unable to be forgotten that effortlessly and decidedly.

I know I have written many. But you know what, this is just a tip of an iceberg. There are many more issues I have thought about. I think that I think alot. lolx...

Maybe I'm more of a writer than being vocal in expressing and conveying my thoughts.

Nonetheless, if anyone of you wanna get to know about me, you may still talk to me. Rest assured that I will try my best in translating my thoughts into the correct words so that you can know what's exactly in my thinking mind. But there's no guarantee that I will be able to succeed though. Sometimes, you may find that I am at a loss of words when you hear me stutter - having difficulty at expressing. Then, for fear of wasting your time waiting for me to say something out, or that your attention span for me is lost, I will just quickly say whatever that comes to my mind in trying to say the exact thoughts I have, which is often not exactly what I wanna say. In such cases, do prompt me with whatever you think that I am trying to say, then I may be able to find the correct words from you, and together with my own words, and tell you the exact things in my mind. Well, if you want, perhaps you can provide a pen and a paper for me to write down instead. hahax...
Of course, I won't just tell any Tom, Dick or Harry about my thoughts. The person would be someone who I could trust, which is the most fundamental, and/or with any other criteria which are left to me to decide and judge, before I would want to share with you my thoughts. So when you see me unwilling to tell you anything personal which you may ask, then there's no point harping on the questions you want to ask.

Seriously, I need to learn the ability to talk out my thoughts. Right now, I am at a big disadvantage in many situations which require talking, and in the future, I am going to screw up my interviews.

Oh well~

june hols

2008-05-31T16:44:00.004+08:00

Watched "Windstruck" yesterday night on Channel U from 11.30pm to 2 am! I woke up only at 1.25pm today~~ oh well...
Sure feel guilty for sleeping so long and wasted my time to study. But this is the first time this year that I watched a movie till so late and slept for so long! So i shan't feel so bad about myself.

Windstruck is somewhat similar to "My Sassy Girl". But Winstruck is a SAD ROMANTIC story. Oh my, I nearly cried while watching it cuz it's really sad!

The girl is a policewoman who is determined to get rid of the criminals while the guy is a Physics teacher. One day, the guy was chasing a robber but he was misunderstood by the policewoman as the robber instead. So this is how they met.

The guy later went to volunteer as a police patrol and was teamed up with the same policewoman he met earlier. On their course of patrolling, they witnessed a case of illegal trading of drug and the policewoman wanted to catch them by following a guy involved. But the timid Physics teacher wouldn't want to follow, so he attempted to run away but the policewoman handcuffed him together with her, and both of them followed the guy.

After successfully catching the criminals, the policewoman found out that she had lost the key to unlock the handcuff, thus they spent a night sleeping together while being handcuffed with each other. Thereafter, their love for each other grows and they become involved in a relationship.

After some episodes of life, in a dark alley, the policewoman accidentally shot her boyfriend in the heart in an attempt to shoot another criminal she aimed for. The boyfriend actually wanted to help his girlfriend to catch the highly dangerous criminal, which his girlfriend never knew of. His boyfriend eventually died. The girl wanted so much to die with her boyfriend that she committed suicide but was eventually rescued.

The girl belived firmly that after 7 x 7 = 49 days, the spirit of his boyfriend would come and look for her, as it was depicted in a legend that in 49 days after a person died, the ghost spirit of the deceased will come and look for his loved ones before the spirit leave the mortal world forever.

And on the 49th day, the spirit of her boyfriend indeed come to look for her. The girl was really delighted to be able to finally get to see her boyfriend again. Tears rolled down the cheeks of both parties. After a short conversation, the house becomes brighter suddenly, signalling the boyfriend to leave.

The girl wanted so much to leave with him. But the guy said to her that she still haa a long way to go in life and let him leave with her love she had for him instead.

[Oh man, the scene was so touching.... I wouldn't want to carry on with my life if I can ever follow the person to wherever we will be going, anywhere but remaining in the mortal world, forever.]

Left with no choice, they bade goodbyes with each other.

The story ended with the policewoman met with another guy at a train station. She vividly heard the voice of his dead boyfriend, in the wind, telling her that he will come back to her somehow and belived that she can sense his existence. The guy she met at the train station was clearly the one whom she felt the existence of his boyfriend. The girl, with tears rolling in her eyes, smiled at the guy, knowing deeply in her heart that his boyfriend was near her; while for the guy, he looked puzzled but somehow felt that the girl is special in a certain way...

Perhaps her dead boyfriend left her with hopes somehowwhile she continues living her life.

And the story ended~~

Not bad a movie. Anyway, the point is it is really touching. haha...
-----------------------------------------------
Anyway, 1st week of holiday is coming to an end very soon. Just when I am pondering why I have only managed to finish revising only Chemistry, I found out that I have to study for Bio and Chem SPAs until Wed. So I am actually only free to study what I want only from yesterday. No wonder I thought that I am so not productive. -.-

But that also means that I need to study intensively so as to be able finish my revision for all subjects and am prepared for mid-year exams!
Good luck~~~~

I shall force myself, no matter how, to memorise all the Inorganic Chem reaction equations, to fully understand Vectors and Recurrence Relations, to selectively memorise (not going to memorise poems that have come up last year A level) Chinese Language and Lit stuffs! As for Bio, I will just have to reinforce all those I have understood and polish my answering techniques with details.

Holidays = Days to study except for the need to go to school. (by Ms Amy Phua)
But this will not be applicable to the December holidays this year! I am so looking foward to its arrival~

past week

2008-05-19T20:27:00.004+08:00

MY wisdom tooth remains intact. The dentist just gave me antibiotics and medicine which cured the pain around my neck, as well as 2 small bottles of Listerine which contain fluoride -.-"
Hope nothing worse will happen, at least until the end of this year. *cross finger*

J2s went to watch the A Div Volleyball Boys final at Toa Payoh on Thursday. NYJC beat TJC 3-0 to clinch the championship! I would say it was relatively easy for NYJC to win this time round compared to last year against AJC. It was much more exciting last year.
Unexpectedly, the J2s actually cheered loudly. lolx... I thought the SC would have a hard time to making us cheer but most of us were very enthusiastic. Perhaps some of them have never watched a Volleyball match. "N -! Y -! J - C!" Even the primary school kids followed us and cheered for our college.

This 3-day long weekend, as usual, was not enjoyable for me. Had 3-hour CLL paper 1 on Sat morning. After that, I have to crap testimonial for quan hui out... lolx... And need to MEMORISE Chem SPA Skill A for the mock SPA tomorrow. Bio Mock SPA Skill A will be on coming Thursday.. argh.... I just want to get SKILL A over and done with!

Saddened by the many natural disasters that happened recently. I restrained myself from reading too much on the news for fear that I might become desensitized. Oh well, just like a doctor who may have used to seeing life and deaths in the hospital, I may well become numb to such human disasters which I wouldn't want myself to become to be. Life for the affected people would be very difficult. Let us all show our compassion and love for them, perhaps this is the least which all of us can do.

'Wisdom' indeed -.-

2008-05-13T11:17:00.007+08:00

ARGH!
I can't believe that the swollen gum at the back of my lower left molar which I thought was a huge ulcer is actually a Wisdom Tooth!
Damn wisdom tooth! Why must you only erupt now? And I miss school today because I know I won't be able to concentrate anyway! And I would be going to see dentist later to see how's my condition.

Unfamiliar with Wisdom tooth, I went Wikipedia to know more about it.
And I found out:
Wisdom teeth are the third molar and usually appear between the ages of 17 and 25.

Most people have four wisdom teeth, but it is possible to have more or fewer. (Oh man, I hope I belong to the minority!)

Sometimes the wisdom tooth fails to erupt completely through the gum bed and the gum at the back of the wisdom tooth extends over the biting surface, forming a soft tissue flap or lid around the tooth called an operculum. (I think I have this problem! Argh!)

Common symptoms include a swelling and redness of the gum around the eruption site, difficulty in opening the mouth, a bad odor or taste in the mouth, and pain in the general area which may also run down the entire lower jaw or possibly the neck. (Yes! Pain!!)

Evolution may be part of the cause of getting Wisdom tooth:
Wisdom teeth are vestigial third molars. In earlier times, when tooth loss in early adulthood was common, an additional molar had the potential to fill in a gap left by the loss of another tooth. It has also been postulated that the skulls of human ancestors had larger jaws with more teeth, which were possibly used to help chew down foliage to compensate for a lack of ability to efficiently digest the cellulose that makes up a plant cell wall. As human diet changed, a smaller jaw was selected by evolution, yet the third molars, or "wisdom teeth", still commonly develop in human mouths.

Other findings suggest that a given culture's diet is a larger factor than genetics in the development of jaw size during human development (and, consequently, the space available for wisdom teeth).

Different human populations differ greatly in the percentage of the population which form wisdom teeth, ranging from 99.8% in Bantu speakers to nearly 0% in Mexican Indians The difference is related to the PAX9 gene (and perhaps other genes).

(PAX9 gene has found to be associated with a number of organ and other skeletal developments, particularly teeth. It transcribes a protein of 341 amino acids from 4 exons and 1,644bps in humans.)

Sigh...Dunno whether I'll be asked to go for operaton to have the wisdom tooth extracted out or not. If I'm advised to, of course I will. I don't want any future problems. Moreover, it takes a shorter time to heal when you are younger. But the healing process will be a very painful one! Bleeding and oozing are inevitable and will last for at least 3 days. =(
=.= I have thought and worried so much about it when I have not even go and see a dentist.

I have been starving for 2 days already! Because I can't even bite properly as it is really painful!
Including today, it will be 3 days in which I am consuming only a tiny percentage of calories recommended for a 18-year-old. For these 3 days, a bowl of very watery porridge, a bottle of soya bean milk, 1 cup of milk, 1 cup of milo and 2 slices of white bread are what I have consumed in total. And of course drank about only 5 mugs of water which provides 0 calorie.
But weirdly, my stomach didn't give me hungry pangs, or least not those loud ones. It only gives me an 'acidic' feeling of my hydrochloric acid churning air. Guess my body understands my problem well. Much as I want to eat something nice (I want to go try the Fish Zinger!), I am unable to. Hope my body won't mistake me as anorexic though. =.=

Maybe it's a good and rare chance for me to cut down my weight and to become slimer. lolx...
Measured at 55kg when I go weighed myself recently, I wonder how many kilos I will lose after this ordeal.

Perhaps the fortunate thing is that my widsom tooth erupt now rather than during important exam period, though there is GP mid-year exam next Friday and Bio and Chem SPA 2 weeks later. To digress a little, I passed my Chem Organic Test! =] And I passed my NAPFA test!!! I was so relieved!

J2s are invited to go and support the Volleyball boys in the final match this thursday. It's been a long time since I watch a match since last year (only once) and I'm looking forward to this match. But I have to see how my condition is first....=\

Wish myself good luck for the dental visit later ... ... nervous and scared....

'labour' day~

2008-05-02T20:43:00.006+08:00

SO I slept till 12pm+++ on Mayday (or Labour Day). Hahax..I admit that I slept like a log~~~
Studied for Chemistry Organic test, started only at 2pm and the rest of the day was devoted to only Chem, only for the sake for the test this morning. I could've gotten more marks, like 5 more marks, if my brain was a little bit more clear and me not getting that nervous and impatient. Passing it is my aim=]

My precious Saturdays are gone, at least for 2 more Saturdays =(
NAPFA 6 stations test tmr! I TRULY HOPE that I can PASS my 2.4km rum! My standing broad jump! My sit-and-reach! Hohoho....I'm really not athletic. That means I need more training...But there's no more time left. I don't want to do retest 2 Saturdays later or do it again in July. And most importantly, I'm not letting mysef to train for 2 extra months for BMT!

CLL P2 test 3hour FULL paper next Saturday! Sianx~
As if this is not enough, CLL P1 3 hour FULL paper the Saturday after next!
ARGH! I hate writing in Chinese now than ever! I sympathise with my hands and fingers! And, well, pen ink -.-"

Bio Mock SPA Skill A next monday...Math Statistics Lecture test next tuesday... Bio Diversity & Evolution test next Thursday... GP essay writing next Fri...
=X

Anyway, I pre-empt that the following 2 weeks is a test for my endurance, yet again. 6-day week for 2 consecutive weeks. I shall tell myself this: "It's Mon. Be happy, for Friday is coming =)"

Alright, I have to and must come to my senses now. Felt kinda relieved for knowing it. Of course felt happy for the parties =] Whatever sadness or disappointment or depression, I shall not risk myself beng embittered and trapped by dwelling too much in these emotions, which I am capable of since I am kind of sentimental person (lolx...), and I shall dip myself in the river of Lethe.

GP lessons are the most interesting ones. In contrast, I dreaded for reporting for PE lessons. Therefore, I must pass my NAPFA tmr yea!

GP tutor showed us a movie titles\d ' The Truman Show'. Damn awesome and cool movie. It exaggerated the consequences of the mass media being so rampant that the private life of Truman, since young, has been broadcasted to the public, and this is kept in the dark from Truman because all the people he met in his life are 'actors' and all the events he had participated in are all 'arranged' by the people in-charge of Truman Show.

This movie provokes us to find out for ourselves does the truth really matter. Why do we want to know the truth, if everything now is, or seems, perfectly alright for us? What if the truth is ugly? Why not choose to continue to live how we are living now? Does the truth REALLY matter?

I got a hard time choosing my stand. Apparently, after careful and thoughtful considerations for both sides of the arguments, I have not chosen a concrete stand which I strongly stand by.

I can't wait to step down from CCA which is on next Wed! It's time for the real thing.

*embrace life =)*

if u know what i'm trying to say

2008-04-27T16:04:00.005+08:00

I am a stranger in this strange place.
And I felt so lonely.
I would never travel alone anymore.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Life is so 'sian'. I'm sure people around me always hear me saying 'So sian...'. Ppl like quan hui especially... LOLx....
Paiseh ah.....

-----------------------------------------------------------------
If life is so perfect...
I'd be worried
That if everything is just a facade
That it won't actually last long
And will be over soon.
Will I be able to accept the fact then?
Can I handle it?

Life is a challenge.
But it is also a chance.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
On the bed...

Sanshun: Zhenxian, do you love me?

Zhenxian: Huh?? Do you even need to ask this question??

Sanshun: Then say 'I love you' to me!

Zhenxian: What?! I can't bring myself to say those things!

Sanshun: Come on! You should express your love and let people around you know that you care for them!

Zhenxian: I always do that in my heart.

Sanshun: Then they won't know that you actually care for them!

Zhenxian: What's the difference when you keep your love in your heart and to express it out? They're the same!

Sanshun: No! They are not! People wouldn't mind being showered with more love if you want to give them!

Zhenxian: Oh my! You're so childish!

Sanshun: We people are all childish! Come on, say it to me!

Zhenxian: Can't be bothered with you!

Sanshun: Look like I will have to make you say it right now! If you won't do it, you will never say it!

And so Sanshun uses her brute force and strangles Zhenxian round his neck and force Zhenxian to say

Zhenxian: Ahh!!! Let go of me!!!!!

Sanshun: Come on! Just three words! Say it to me!

Zhenxian is struggling...

Zhenxian: I.........love.........you........

Sanshun: Louder! Come on!

Zhenxian: I.............Love............You!

Sanshun: I can't hear you! Louder!!!

Zhenxian (with all his might): I..................LOVE...............YOU!!!!!!!!

Sanshun, satisfied for now, let go of Zhenxian

Zhenxian (panting): Oh my! Can't believe you are so strong... (pant...)

Sanshun: I'll let you off for now. Next time, I want to hear it from you from the bottom of your heart, alright?

Zhenxian (pretending not to hear): Come on dear, let's do what we're supposed to do... ... ...

..............................................

trip to IMH

2008-04-26T21:45:00.004+08:00

Regret for not taking MRT home from IMH just now... I was caught in a massive traffic jam in the bus...

So the trip to IMH was indeed a meaningful one.
Before getting to interact with the residents there, there was a fear in me wondering what I would encounter later. Even though people had kept telling me that the residents are actually friendly and approachable people and there's nothing to be scared of, I was still worried for dunno-what reason. When the group of us were about to enter the ward, we had to sterilise our hands first. What made us feel even more afraid was that there were patients looking at us 'interesting-ly' from inside the ward through the transparent glass of the door.
Hiding our fear, we went in and looked calm. When nothing had happened to us, we were relieved. lolx...
So we set up our games we had planned for the residents to play. Most of the patients in the ward were elderly. They enjoyed playing our games and all of us were truly glad. There is one patient who likes drawing and is good at it too. He drew two portraits of my classmates and one of them looks really alike. He can draw the outline of the face very quickly and is in the almost perfect proportion. And he coloured the portraits first before giving his masterpiece to them. I'm sure I couldn't produce the standard like his. I admire him.

The evironment there is serene and peaceful. It is a perfect and conducive for the residents to stay in. They are, in fact, not as scary as I thought they were. I believe most of us have the wrong perspectives of these people. Actually, they are okay and are normal, with the medication. They can communicate with you and you would feel really glad when you know you've brightened up their day and made a difference to their boring lives. If viewed in another angle, the residents are even more normal than us, if you know what I'm trying to say. They lead a peaceful, quiet and contended life, which is what many of us look forward to. There is no hyporcrites in the ward, everyone behaves as they are. Some even show their care and concern towards their friends. They are also very disciplined and do follow instructions, not otherwise which we always think. There is a need to spread the message that residents in IMH are actually friendly people and we must change our perspectives we always have of them.

service-learning =]

2008-04-25T22:29:00.004+08:00

Some updates... though blogging is really what I shouldn't do now~

Saturdays are packed with events nowadays... The Sat before last week, I went back to college for extra Chem tutorial. Last Sat the college celebrated 29th College Day and we also had Chem extra remedial on Organic synthesis before that. Looking at the awardees going up the stage for their excellent A level results...I just hope that I will be like them next year. And thanks to my cca teacher for his wish. Tmr, a Sat, I will be going to IMH for my service-learning. Well, honestly, there's some fear about going there as I never have interacted with ppl like them.... But my friends said they are actually ok and normal like us, so I guess everything's gonne be alright. Next Sat, NAPFA TEST!!! OMG!! I have many stations to work on... Somehow, I couldn't jump as far as before.. sian... and my 2.4km too! I always wanted to train but just can't find the time to.. Now it's quite late.. No matter what, I will push on on next Sat! I really don't wanna waste 2 months of my life for eXtRa NS training... x[

For the FIRST time ever, I PASSED BOTH MY CHEM AND BIO TESTS!! x)
That's really a big deal ok?! hahax...
It's really not easy to pass tests or exams... Somehow, I've made it! heeex...
To be more emo, I nearly tear when I knew that I have passed the tests... lolx... -.-
There's another Chem organic test next Friday, just when I thought that I can have a good rest on Labour Day, shall do my best in proving to the others that I can manage my work load... =]
Nonetheless, there's always some hidden phobia when attending Chem lessons~~~

There's actually many things which I want to mention... but somehow or rather, I always missed to blog about them.
Firstly, THANK YOU 0705 FOR THE BIRTHDAY PRESENTS!!! So MANY of YOU have bought the presents and I AM REALLY TOUCHED!! WAS REALLY DELIGHTED!! x) MANY THANKS!
(Okae, I know that it happened long long time ago but I must mention their kindness and their thoughtful gift! =D)
Of course, not forgeting the 'scandalous family' as it was so-called, though I have some comments about the naming (lolx...), for celebrating my birthday in Swensens =] Thank you!

Next, a thief in the college STOLE my $$$ !! I was DAMN pissed off by the whoever it was! I only found out that my all my notes were gone when I was about to take out money to pay for my KFC Shrooms meal's bill. It was so embarrassing when I had to cancel my order last-minute. The thief was 'kind' enough to steal only the notes, and left my $1 McDonald's voucher, I/C, ezlink, photocopy card and coins alone. And put my wallet back into my bag... Since then, I never put wallet in my bag anymore... I can't believe there's actually a thief going around stealing people's money. I was not the only victim. There are many more. In one case, all the money was stolen from a group of bags which belonged to Floorball guys' team while they were training. Hope that the thief will be caught soon and let him be ashamed in front of the whole college!
Through this unfortunate experience, my level of trust for other people has dropped to some extent. Though it is painful to have lost the 20 - 30 bucks, what I felt more was the disappointment for mankind for their undesirable acts.

Anyway, I was so envious when I found out that the Band will be travelling to JAPAN!
Not only that, the Literature students are flying all the way to ENGLAND!!! waaaah~~~!
Still, my TAIWAN trip last year was memorable enough for me =]

There are many other deep-seated thoughts which I shan't blogged about, at least for now ~~ Well, maybe I would when I want or have the urge to...

Thanks people for the encouragement. Situation now has become slightly better. Yep, I'm taking whatever that comes positively...

Beer tastes so much better than Green Tea.
You know what? You can't drink beer then so I chose green tea instead (I drank beer before the legal age so I know the taste already).
=D

cry...

2008-04-16T20:41:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I really would like to cry my heart out.
I barely can manage the stressful situation I am currently in.
I embrace every moment when I have managed to be strong mentally and did not let myself break down.
But crying would make one feel better, as depicted by drama and from friends, right?
Yet there is no room nor space for me to cry. This world is just too packed.
I have thought of crying in my room but whenever I am back from college, my parents have already returned home from work. I can't possibly let them hear me cry.
So all along, I've been keeping the almost unbearable and overwhelming feeling to myself. I can't find anybody to talk to. I know there is somebody but the idea is just not feasible since no one is not busy.
Sigh. This world is so packed yet it's so hard to find somebody to confide into (though this person exists).

相识满天下，知心有几人

0705 outing

2008-03-28T22:45:00.002+08:00

So after 1h 15min of Bio P1 today, 0705 went to Yuki Yaki at Marina Square for our breakfast and lunch! Since most of us didn't take our breakfast, and Yuki Yaki opens only at 12 noon, thus considered as both breakfast and lunch for us. We spent almost 4 full hours there and I was really full after 2 hours of eating. And I was the first person to 'surrender' to more food as my stomach was really already bloated. I just can't understand how the rest especially the girls, can eat so much -.-" One lucky thing is that we get 2 cups of FREE ice-cream each as today is so-called a 'special day' which I have no idea what exactly it is. Each of us paid only $12.90 which I thought is quite cheap. The food there was also not too bad, up to expectations =]

Slept for 1h+ in the evening and had dinner with my dad outside after that. And here I am online and also to print bio and chem notes. Sports carnival tomorrow =.=" Need to wake up early yet again. Am involved in orienteering, shall do our best...

As a naruto-addict, I shall post some Naruto pictures =P

Naruto Shippuden characters.I find this picture cool, especially Sasuke and Sai at the back.

Forth Hokage! with Kakashi on the right of the front row.

Haruno Sakura. Looks demure here but she's really powerful... see below... lolx...

Naruto was punched ~

Uchiha Sasuke

Sai, a good guy who is once devoid of emotions.

The trio who were trying hard to find out how Kakashi really looks like under his mask. damn funny episode!

Lookng forward to the next episode ...

my a lvl tme-table... sigh...

2008-03-26T22:57:00.004+08:00

A level time-table is out on SEAB website. Suay...my time-table isn't good for me to have more time to study before the next paper.
This is how my time-table goes:

30th & 31st Oct: CLL P1 & P2
3rd - 7th Nov: GP P1 & 2, Math P1, Bio P2, Chem P3, Math P2 on each day. I hate this week!
11th and 14th Nov: Chem P2 and P1 respectively
17th and 20th Nov: Bio P3 and P1 respectively

Only 217 more days to my first A level paper. >.<
Need to come up with a formula / strategy / study plan so that I can manage the packed a level schedule soon... Am pondering about it... =\

Just checked my Chem P1 results on litespeed. 29/40. Not bad la hor.... haha... Really am shocked when I found out my result, since my Chem has always been sucky. Hope to get better results next time round. Good Chem notes do make a great difference. lolx... Hope this is able to compensate the poor results which I am going to score for P2... oh well...-.-

1 more paper left to the end of Block Test. Bio P1 coming Friday. Going to school only from 8am to 9.15am to take the paper. Quite dumb.. lolx... But A level will be like this anyway..

There are several reasons for me to like exam period. hahax... Though it indeed will be a stressful period, but I can go home early after taking the paper, since my normal lessons end at around 5pm on average every day. Also, I can sleep longer on days when my papers are in the afternoon session since there's no need to report for morning assembly. And of course, I don't have to go to school when there are no papers for me for that day! Can sleep for as long as I want to. Can slack, I mean take a break, from the routine of doing the exact same things everyday. haha... There's no school for me tomorrow, yeah! maybe I'll go Orcahrd for shopping... lol!

Anyway, I have enjoyed the days during the past 2 weeks of Block test period, to a certain extent. haha... Do I sound like a sadist? Don't worry, I'm not a masochist. lolx..
But now, towards the end of Block test, I need to finish all the tutorials which I have yet to complete! CLL P1 and Complex numbers. This tutorial load is considered light already so I guess I shouldn't grumble, and complete them!

I dreamt a dream. We were together, had a wonderful time after a certain event (which I couldn't recall). Holding hands together, heartbeats went faster, but was enjoying every moment. I thought it was a reality. Then I opened my eyes, only to see familiar objects of my room, diasppointment overwhelmed me.

If only it was ...
How I wish it is ...
But I feel we already are ...

naruto shippuden ep 48

2008-03-10T22:18:00.003+08:00

Naruto Shippuden is truly awesome!

How I admire Naruto for his perseverance and the 'never-say-die' attitude towards rescuing his good friend, Sasuke, from Orochimaru. Even though Sasuke has said that he 'doesn't care about Naruto anymore', Naruto still regards Sasuke as his friend because Sasuke was the one who has made Naruto felt his existence most.

When Sai asked why Naruto is willing to risk his life just to save Sasuke, who no longer regard him as a friend anymore, and moreover, the enemy Naruto is going to face is Orochimaru who is far more powerful than him, Naruto said the following which made me feel touched,

"If my hands are torn off, I'll kick him to death!
If my legs are torn off, I'll bite him to death!
If my head is torn off, I'll stare him to death!
If my eyes are torn off, I'll curse him to death!" [ him = Orochimaru ]

Need to study for Block Test. Gonna finish my 1st round of Chemistry revision tomorrow. Hopefully... MUST!
After which, I must practise on my Math!
Then, I'll start on my CLL Lit component. Gonna study selectively as there'll not be enough time anyway. 1 week to study => insufficient. But no procrastination is allowed. I dun wanna fail!

rambling

2008-03-05T21:16:00.002+08:00

FINALLY, 1st Mar 2008 is gone and my suffering is over!
Overall, I would say BYG 2008 was a success despite the many obstacles we met while preparing for this event.
Sales of tickets 4 days before the actual performance was only a pathetic 25%. Yet, by the end of the performances, the sales was beyond 90%! Isn't that incredible? Unbelievable?! Even me need some time to accept the exponential increase in the sales of the tickets in the last week. I vaguely remembered that 9 days before the actual performance, the sales was really bad - a mere 10%. 5 days later, it slightly went up to 25%. By then, the teachers were damn worried about the sales.
And I was blamed for not being worried, or rather never show to people that I was really worried. My first reaction was: WHAT? Ask me to act and pretend that I was worried about the sales? I hate hypocrites and I would NEVER do such hypocritical acts in my life! I am not obligated to do this. And I was told that by not being worried about the sales, I sort of cause the teachers to be insulted when I looked as if nothing serious had happened.
I do embrace the logic behind it but sadly, I do feel sorry for this reality in life. Sometimes we have to pretend a bit, be hypocritical for a while, all because of the outcome we desire to happen. We can't be like how kids are like, or rather how we were like when we were still small little children, when we could express whatever we felt at any moment and forget about it after a short while.

Regarding the bad sales initially, I do have to be partly responsible for it, but definitely not all, not even most. Sales of tickets require ALL of us to work hard upon, to boost the selling of tickets. It is ridiculous that a group leader is the only one to be blamed for the poor sales. I understand that it is inevitable for people to throw their comments on me regarding the sales performance but I don't give a damn, because my principle is that ALL should work hard to sell their tickets and ALL should be blamed if sales is not up to the minimal expectations.
[I'm glad that my blog gives me the channel to express what I wanna say, especially my principle on this issue, as there won't be anyone who will listen to me rambling about it.]

The problem of 'saving face' can actually turn someone into another person. One will become so worried and anxious that he becomes very agitated when talking to the person who is deemed to cause a particular incident.
I saw the ugly side of human being. It is really ugly, and scary. I detest it to the core.

I was told that I have disppointed people. I have not lived up to their expectations. Regarding the issue of expectations, I am not at all interested. Expectations are what people set for you and it has nothing to do with the person whether he/she has met the expectations. As long as I have no regrets and conscience is clear, things are fine. I don't aim to live up to any people's expectations. There is, of course, a small generalisation I've made when stating the former sentence. I will still work very hard not to disappoint my loved ones - family, ... ... ... for they are most special to me and they are not those ugly people who I will meet in the outside world.

Spent quite some time here grumbling... I intended to upload some photos but well, it's time for me to sleep. So next time ba... ...

I need $$$$$. Broke... =\
On the bright side, my constellation sign - Aquarius - states that I will be spending quite alot of $ this month, but it is all for exchanging with things that are valuable to me, something that can last for a long time. So it's worth it. =)

stressed

2008-02-11T22:02:00.000+08:00

1st day of school after CNY.
Received many ang baos... grins... $_$
Played majong with cousins. Though won, sadly, didn't play with money, just chips. Haha, I am the most pro amongst the 4 of us. wahahahahahha!!! And I'm now more confident in majong! =P

Stress is building up.

Transition metals test tmr. Though can bring A5 self-written notes to help, passing the test is uncertain. sigh... Fate shall decides for me. I'm used to it, anyway.

Virus and prokaryotes test this thurs. Nothing much to elaborate on. Same as above. =\

Integration application and Differential equations test next thurs. Same as above. =.=

Chem SPA Skill B and C next Fri! I must score well in it!!! Must!

Bio eukaryotes test 2 weeks after. nothing much to say...

Bio SPA Skill D 2 weeks later. Must score in it too!! Must!

All tests, tutorials and CCA rehearsals are virtually 'squeezed' into this 3 weeks. Many tedious things to do as publicity and ticketing committee. s-t-r-e-s-s. That's the word. And it's building up.

I dunno if I will eventually break down. But I know that that's not a choice for me.

That's life.

Being so busy nowadays, yet I always think about happiness. How great it would be... ...
Life will be so much more meaningful (=

>.<

2008-02-02T23:34:00.000+08:00

For dunno what reason, I'm blogging now...on a very plain and simple blogskin.
Things shouldn't be made too complex.

Let's see, what am I going to blog about??

Hmm...I realized I've become stupid, literally. As I grow older, I become more dumb.
Proof: Damn lousy results.
Fail all my H2 subjects tests.
Need to take re-re-test for Chemistry some more. (Wonder how many more "re-"(s) tests do I need to take?)
But the scary thing is: I don't feel sad at all! Perhaps I am already numbed by the "supposed-to-be-sad" feeling since last year and now, flunking tests are just like some daily issues which I have to face. Not really a big deal.
Ironic, isn't it? Scary yet numbed by it.

Really hope to do well in the coming Block Test.
I still have expectations for myself.
I am still persevering...

Learning an interesting topic for Math - Complex Number. Initailly, I am fascinated by the fact that Mathematicians give "square root (-1)" meaning and make use of some properties of complex numbers in modern applications, like satellites. Though I am quite lost now, and teachers and senior said that this topic is indeed complex - not easy - I won't allow my interest in this topic to die out - at least not so soon.

For Chemistry, a subject I dislike since secondary school, we're learning about alkenes. Seems easy to me, but it may not be so when I do my tutorials, or rather tests and exams, since I don't really do tutorials, which may be the main reason that I never pass the tests ever before. Sometimes, I even felt puzzled how did I make it to this stage - that is being promoted, and survived till this moment. The journey itself is certainly not easy.
Organic Chemistry is what we have left to learn after all the inorganic chemistry and physical chemistry are done.
Last lap, 1.5 more term left...

Biology... Learning Eukaryotic organisation... Well, it's just memorisation.
The rigid style of Bio department made me lose my passion for Biology once... Up to the extent that I don't give a damn to Biology tests.
But it's so unfair to me and I've decided that I'm going to like Bio again.
It's a choice.
My passion for Biology is going to rekindle... soon.

GP lecture...Prejudice and Discrimination...Another interesting stuff to me. =p
--All religions are prejudice towards other religions. Even though one religion asks you to respect the other religions, at the end of the day, your religion will still tell you that your religion is the best.
--Are we discriminating gays? Although heterosexuals are the main group that causes HIV to spread, yet homosexuals are often, if not always, the ones who are to be blamed for the spread of HIV.
There are some other interesting phenomena regarding this aspect of prejudice and discrimination, like SNAG (Sensitive New Age Guys). lolx...

Time-table this year SUCKS, a lot. Earlist time of lesson ends: 4.30pm. Latest: 5.30pm. Most energy and highest level of endurance needed: On Monday, 5 consecutive hours of lessons. and on Tues, 4 consecutive hours of lessons.
Really zonked out by the long hours of lessons.
Sleep debt accumulates every schooling day, and I have to pay back on Saturday afternoon, which leads to less time for homework and revision.
Like just now, I just had 3 hours of afternoon nap, which I clearly know that I was paying back my sleep debt.
Isn't it pathetic? I'm actually deprived of the minimal hours of sleep! A human, besides having to eat, to drink, to breathe, sleep is another essential component in order to survive. Yet I am unable to fulfil these basic requirements for survival. How I look forward to weekends... How I hope June holidays arrive quickly. How I hope time passes quickly so that weekends and June holidays can arrive sooner...

And there's CCA rehearsals. Need to stay till 9pm. Hope the month of February passes away as soon as how January has passed by so quicky, or even faster. So that after tha last performance on 1st Mar, my mind, body and soul can take a break!
And by the way, buy BYG tickets from me pls! Thanks!

Though I didn't speak myself, I think you know how I feel, yea?
And though you didn't want to be the one to take the initiative, I know you've been dropping hints here and there and I catch most of them, if not all, to let me know how you feel. And I wanna say thanks for that.
Not that I wanna carry on wasting time, but the situation and atmosphere are never right, did you realise that?
I'm looking forward to our next meet up...
...

BYG 2008

2008-01-28T21:49:00.000+08:00

After 1 month plus...I'm back! haha...

Seriously kept real busy with academic and CCA! OMG! It's really BUSY! Almost no time for me to take a breath... Damn hectic!!

Why am I so busy?
Well, my CCA is now running a very packed schedule in preparing for 《我们的白云岗2008》which will be held on 29th February and 1st March.
Time: 7.15p.m.
Venue: NYJC LT4

A short intro to our drama:
"This is a riveting play that combines elements of modern life, ancient Chinese history, myths and legends"

The title of this drama is 《银针传奇》or "Legend of the Silver Needle".

Synopsis of the drama:

“ 他是天之骄子，用他人的心碎来构成虚假的完美；他是残暴的君王，用臣民的血肉来铸造金碧辉煌。

他是忠实的追随者，心中所有的痛苦都不为人知；他是直言敢谏的忠臣，却冤枉凄惨的枉死。

她是寄人篱下的孤女，用愤怒的复仇开启了千年的诅咒；她是绝代佳人，不惜一切，将一代王朝覆灭。

她是命运的宠儿，却不得不面对人生的无奈；他是历史的颠覆着，征服了天下却无法填补失落的空白。

历史，究竟是让人觉悟，还是在不断重复着同样的错误？

一根富有法力的银针，牵动了四个家族千年的命运。人，是否无论如何，都逃避不了命运的掌控？还是人性深处那些永无止境的欲望，才是千年来恒久不灭的诅咒？”

Felt compelled to watch? Interesting synopsis eh? haha..
Anyway, this is an annual drama production by Chinese Cultural Society of NYJC.
This year, the style is different from the past years as we're going to do one long show, instead of previous years' 2 - 3 short shows.

Must come support!
Especially me, the in-charge of ticketing and publicity!!
Help me get rid of all my tickets!!
600 seats in LT... 2 nights.... so a total of 1200 tickets to be sold!!!
COME SUPPORT!
Thanks alot!!
=]
My workload and stress would be very much reduced yea....

And tickets will be ready by tomorrow (Tuesday). So that means my job of selling tickets starts tomorrow!

Don't hesitate, grab your ticket now!! =)

and ya... ticket is priced at $8 [=
It's considered a very reasonable price already =)

Back from Taiwan!

2007-12-15T23:53:00.000+08:00

Back from Taiwan, safe and sound!

Taiwan is damn fun! No regret at all for going to Taiwan!
It's impossible for me to blog about how fun Taiwan really is. It will be really damn long that I'm gonna spend uncountable hours on it, which I wouldn't want to waste my time on given the numerous assignments I have on hand now. =\
oh well...

Of course, the most important reason that makes me feel Taiwan is so fun is because of the other 29 friends from HCI, TJC and NYJC travelling this trip together! Without these wonderful friends, I definitely wouldn't enjoy the trip no matter how great Taiwan is, whether is it the food, places of interest, shopping time, bla bla bla...

And yea, I miss Taiwan!
But since I'm back to Singapore, that means business time =(
Time will be mostly spent on getting the piles of homework done.
What a pathetic life of a student...

Miss the friends travelled to Taiwan together most though. After all, it's these friends who have accompanied, played and lived together during the 15 days. Without them, loneliness is what's left. Then it would be no fun at all. Friends are great! And friends last for a lifetime!

Undeniably, it is indeed quite sad when we had to bid goodbyes to one another in the airport. I felt a sense of nostalgia when I recalled the fun we had enjoyed so much in Taiwan together. But the fact in life is that separation is inevitable.

From 方老师 of HCI：“天下无不散之筵席。原种下的种子有一天发芽。完成该完成的，收拾该收拾的。明年好好冲刺！”
Though I was quite shocked to receive this sms from 方老师, I felt touched, especially becaue he's not teaching me yet he sends his regards to me. This message has another effect on me: get my homework done asap or I'll meet my doom next year, which is less than half a month.
lol.

Before checking-in in Taiwan airport, 蓝小姐, the person-in-charge of this Taiwan trip：“离别不是感伤，而是力量的扩散！”
I thought I will feel very sad and can't bear to leave Taiwan and friends, but because of 蓝小姐's words before leaving, I managed to accept the coming separation readily in the airport and on the plane.

Indeed, as what 蓝小姐 mentioned in the airport, we'll all be facing many similar separations in the future. This fact of life really saddens me. And yes, I'll be facing more separations in the future. I've to be emotionally prepared.
sigh...

I'll always remember: 离别不是感伤，而是力量的扩散！

p.s.: I bought《斗牛.要不要》原声带 from 玫瑰唱片 in Taiwan! yay! =]

leaving for taiwan soon

2007-11-29T21:45:00.000+08:00

Will be leaving for Taipei, Taiwan soon in about 14 hours. The thought of carrying my luggage makes me feel sian.... lol

Saddened by the sudden demise of the 5 dragonboat rowers.
:\
R.I.P

Alright, gonna have my dinner now...

Till then...

recent happenings

2007-11-27T14:22:00.000+08:00

Kinetics test on Mon. As usual, scored low marks cuz I forgot the units of rate, which is mol dm-3 time-1. If not for the units, I wouldn't do such badly. CCA exco meeting after that to discuss about CCA Bazaar next year. Damn it. Gonna put up the exact same performance again as in Open House. And I swear I so don't wanna act anymore! No more acting for the rest of my life! Hope the in-charge will change actors. Better do so...

Anyway, I haven't settled the 5 souvenirs I have to buy for Taiwan students. Must settle it by tomorrow as there's no more time left already. Teacher said that we should give something related to S'pore. Seriously have no idea on what to buy.. Merlion keychains?? that's like so LC... but I can't think of what to buy.... maybe keychains will be my last resort, though I really don't want to buy keychains if I'm able to think of something better and nicer to give. But giving something is definitely better than giving nothing yea......

Have not finished packing my stuff.. Sigh.. I can foresee that I'm going to panic soon. Even so, I'm just too lazy to pack... aarrggghhhh! Serves me right for going to panic.... o_O"

Watched Dou Niu ep 2 already! Nice show! Watched it at tudou.com and it load much faster than youtube.

Assignments left: 2 compos, 5 Lit essays, little questions left for Bio and Math and 80% left for Chemistry revision paper, and 5 articles for GP. =\

Lets101 - Dating Site for Singles

ponder...

2007-11-25T20:35:00.000+08:00

何谓“幽默”？它并不等于“好笑”。这是常被人所误解的。小时候，我也以为一个人很幽默就表示他说的话很好笑。以前的我，尤其在小学时期，总爱说逗趣的活和做滑稽的动作来逗人家笑。所以，当老师问起我觉得自己是个怎样的人时，我都会说我是个蛮幽默的人。但，我错了。

其实，幽默的原来含义是以最深刻、最严肃的态度理解人生中最严肃的课题（像死亡）。在学《茶馆》时，老师就跟我们说过了幽默不是好笑，它是富有反讽意味的。那是我第一次认识到幽默并非好笑。最近，我翻阅了由教育部出版的《印象》，里面的文章是去年参加了北京和台湾文化之旅的语文特选课程学生写的。其中有几篇写了他们在台湾所学到的幽默的真正含义，所以在此想与大家分享。

幽默的目的不是要让人笑。我想幽默是要我们深思、反省，并让我们对于某件事有个更深一层的了解。笑是幽默的终点，其背后必定有幽默的存在，并有能够让你挖掘的内涵。

那位授课老师就举了这个例子：我们明知自己终必一死，却还能坚决地活着。生不带来，死不带去，活着本身即是文学中最大的反讽！但人类就是这般“幽默”，明知道到头来将归零却依然选择坚持着自己的理想和抱负，继续活下去，努力地、拼命地实现它们。

事实虽是如此，但本人认为既然没人能够逃过死亡，那倒不如在有生之中尽量去做让自己快乐的事，这样至少不会虚度一生。古今中外，又有谁是没有理想的呢？杜甫、范仲淹、苏轼都想为国效劳好让国家和人民能够得到安宁。这类的例子不胜枚举，其他的只好省略了。现代的就有深受新加坡人敬佩的李光耀资政。他成功地改变很多人认为新加坡不能生存的看法，把新加坡从第三世界蜕变成现在一个人人都享有高素质生活的国家。他们的共同点是他们都有自己伟大的理想。

死是必然的。但在死之前，即在活着的时候，我们可以选择自己想要如何度过这短暂的一生，而这选择可左右自己的命运。能够选择或许是自然界所赐给我们的一份礼物吧。生命是何尝的珍贵啊！若要真正了解生命有过么珍贵，或许是当一个人接近死亡片刻、或是死里逃生的瞬间吧。

mundane life

2007-11-16T00:42:00.000+08:00

Lessons finally ended today, i mean yesterday (blogging after midnight currently~)!
Was late for 2 lessons, one for Chem and the other, Math. Missed some parts, gonna revise them soon, i hope...
Besides new knowlege gained, new assignments have also been given out! claps ... !! =.=" Seriously helped me to plan how I'm going to spend my so-called holidays... thanks so much cuz I don't have to trouble myself over how to spend this long awaited holiday...

Susi passed me her diary for me to write... It's those book which you wrote on when you were in primary schools yea... Hahax... Made me recall how my primary school friends then were so obsessed in writing such diaries... And now I get a chance to write such diary in JC.... lolx...
Need to wake uo early to hand up my 2 Chinese Lit essays which I've just finished, as well as to return the diary to Susi. Great, I've left 5 more Chi Lit essays! >.<

Briefing for Taiwan trip conducted 'yesterday' afternoon. Last for 2 hours... Was feeling sleepy towards the end of the briefing... nag nag nag...
Anyway, another group of LEP students will be flying to Beijing in like less than 6 hours. Bon voyage!
The taiwan trip will commence on 30th Nov till 14th Dec. Those travelling to Beijing will be back on 30th Nov. So we won't meet for one month. hahax.. and there'll be a few hours when both groups are flying in the air concurrently! that is, students flying back to S'pore from Beijing and the other group flying to Taipei from S'pore. Cool manz... haha...
Looking forward to the really nice food in Shi Lin Ye Shi (士林夜市)!!
But the annoying thing when enjoying is that I have to do 2 reports on the places we're going to visit. aarrgghh...!

Damn loads of assignments to be done. with 2 weeks gone for travelling to taiwan, i'll have lesser time for homework and revision. gonna start doing and get rid of the piles and piles of homework asap!

=( homework... (= friends!

2007-11-09T21:19:00.000+08:00

If there's lots of homework to be done during schooling days, then I'll think that it is normal.
But if there's lots of homework to be done during school vacation, then I'll think that it's crazy! Insane! Torturous! whatever you wanna call it!

My homework for this "holiday":

GP- read 5 articles related to GP, write 5 facts / claims related to GP, find meanings of 5 new words
Bio- 1 set of Bio paper
Math - 1 set of Math paper
CLL - 7 Lit essays, 1 full Lit revision paper, 3 compos (1 of which at least 1000 words), and quite a number of questions on classical prose
Chem - yet to be uploaded on litespeed. gonna be many anyway.....

And all homework to be handed in by first week when school starts next year, some of which even have to be handed in on the very first day of school... >.<
The 7 Chi Lit essays are to be handed in on 16th Nov but I don't think I'll meet the deadline.. =\

CCA on Wednesday. Mr Ng, cca teacher, gave me and hui jun, the secretaries, a 2GB thumbdrive each. The thumbdrives are for us to store all CCA related stuffs, such as minutes, and they are to be passed down to the next generation of secretaries, so that they replace the normal practice of passing down files and papers. Isn't it hi-tech? I feel that even passing down stuffs from one generation to the next has become so advanced now. That's so cooL!

Exco outing just now. Went to eat at Marina Square, then went to KBox! Sang with Seokwei, Jasmine Foo and Hui Jun! The rest couldn't make it... Enjoyed!!!

What's unexpected for me was that I met my primary school mate, Andy, who works in the KBox! It's been more than 5 years since we met and talked. At first I didn't recognize him. On my way to the toilet, he kept looking at me and suddenly asked me if I live at Blk 113. I was almost totally shocked as to how did he know that and who exactly he is. Then he revealed that he remember me, a primary school mate to him. A while later, I recalled that we were never in the same class before but we played basketball together before during recess and after school, which I think was the only interaction we had and thus explained why I didn't quite recognized him at first (it's not an excuse!). It feels so great that there are people, though long time never meet, still recognize you. I am totally glad that Andy remembered me. Well, 5 years passed and he is now taller than me. cuz I remembered that I was taller than him during primary school times... lolx.... >.<

I think I am really crazy over Stardust! Because I like the movie so much, I went to college's library and borrowed Stardust book to read! The author is by Neil Gaiman. And I also borrowed another book written by him - Neverwhere. haha...

Too many outings organized and I'm getting broke. Spent over $20 bucks today. Yet to pay $6.50 for the coming BBQ on Monday and also for CCA fund... T_T"

Okay, I'm damn hungry now~

busy

2007-11-03T23:36:00.000+08:00

PW OP exam over on Thurs. Screwed up Q&A session. oh well~ Think only Lily managed to perform well in the Q&A. the rest of us were stumbled by the questions. The assessors didn't ask the questions based on the slides that we presented, instead they asked what the other presenters had presented. i think the questions that were posed to us were the most difficult compared to the other 2 groups. ok, it's all destined to be this way, so be it. i'll stop whining... lolx.... I'm so happy that PW is completely outta my life! Had an enjoyable time with my group members! [=

After our OP exam, we went AMK Hub to celebrate! Went PepperLunch to eat. Because of my damn ulcer that day , i couldn't eat those good stuff, so only ordered a small teriyaki steak sandwich. next we went to watch Stardust! Awesome movie! touched by it. and Zhi Wei cried uncontrollably cos she missed her home (in Sabah) very much. ps. dun worry, u'll meet them very soon. (:

What am I busy with during this holiday?

LEP PW =.= another PW....
CCA - production
Lessons / assignments / revision

Have finished reading 雪山飞狐 on my way home on the bus!

胡斐到底会不会劈下去呢？

Well, i think i'm more on the conventional stance.

胡斐不会劈下去。他自有办法化解这场似乎不是你死就是我亡的斗争。最后，胡斐和苗若兰有情人终成眷属。而苗，胡，范，田四家之间的百年仇怨也就从此结束了。:] haha... quite cliched eh... but this is what i hope it will be.

Watched a play, Living People, at The Necessary Stage in Marine Parade this afternoon. Humorous, i would say.

This play is about whether we should allow patients who have left only 3 months to live to consume drugs to ease their pain. What's the relationship between legal/illegal and right/wrong? It's illegal but it may not be wrong, how should it be handled? Why are some drugs ie. cigarettes and alcohols legalised but not others such as marijuana (when all of them can lead to addiction)? We all know that smokers and alcoholics will not be hanged, even though they are addicted. Is it about ethics and morals, or economy? These are some of the ironies discussed in the play. Quite worth the money to watch (only $10 since we are students. original is about $22). However, i think the ending is rather abrupt. Many of the audiences don't even realised that the play had ended.

Gonna be extremely busy with the my CCA production. I'm in-charge of ticketing and marketing, a job that many people won't take notice of. But it's one of the roles in a production which is the busiest and has the heaviest responsibilities, especially something related to $$$.

Have to make sure that the money collected tally, or I'll meet my doom. Also have to market the production to the public ie. newspaper, emails to schools, radios, contact the alumni etc. It seems easy but there's lots of works to do. o_o

Yet to type the minutes for the latest exco meeting with teacher. gonna type it tomorrow...

Many outings are organised. Class and CCA (one as a whole CCA; another with exco), and SC. But I'm broke. Only a pathetic $2 left in my wallet. v_v"

Went out with yanhong & yukai yesterday to Vivo. They wanted to find holiday part-time jobs, and I went to relax myself.. haha... Watched The Game Plan. I think it's not as good as Stardust. Nonetheless, The Game Plan is quite a funny show, and has portrayed the fatherly love almost perfectly, if not flawlessly. Well, it's not the genre that I like, so perhaps that's the reason I feel that this movie is not quite for me.

There's no real holiday for me until after my GCE A level exam is over. So I'll enjoy as much as I can whenever possible. My CCA teacher told us this too. ENJOY.
JC life is hectic. J1 life has almost come to an end for me. Still have another year to endure! Come on! Test my perseverance! LOLX........

Sometimes looking at other schoolmates who is quite free during the holidays do make me feel jealous since they have the luxury of time to spend on revison, which I myself am deprived of. LEP PW, CCA production - these 2 additional tasks. Life's unfair. It's never fair. Nothing is fair anyway.
Ooops, I see myself whining again. Well, it has sort of become one of my habits already ever since I am in JC. =x

ULCER!

2007-10-31T21:24:00.000+08:00

I've got an ulcer! qutie big. and it's making me feel painful! causes me to have no appetite to eat cuz it hurts so! and i'm starving at this moment! I hate the ulcer! And feeling uncomfortable when I talk. But I'm not gonna let it affect my OP tmr! Gonna endure and persevere the 5 min of presentation, as well as the Q&A session, and everything will be fine! Today's the 3rd consecutive days my ulcer has been torturing me. I hope that this damn ulcer will disappear, NOW! aaarrggghhh....

Rehearsed for OP today. 6 times. exhausted.
All the best to NY025! [=

pain... ... ... damn the ulcer!

happenings

2007-10-29T21:38:00.000+08:00

It's start of A level today. H1 mother tongue. I didn't have to take this subject, but went to college early to settle PW group project file and working file. Went early also to participate in ............. (secrets. lolx.)
Anyway, thought that I'm gonna take H1 Chinese next year, somewhere in May/June, if possible. If not, given my terrible grades as reflected on my result slip, I doubt I'd be able to score any A grade in A level. Hopefully will ace Chinese if I take next year.

Went to Chinatown to attend free Math tuition by a teacher whom Lily knows. Unlearn and relearn. I practised that in the 2 hours of lesson this afternoon. Refresh my memory. Benefit lots from it. J1 topics are very important as emphasised by the teacher, who wants us to call him Sunny. =p

Sad thing that was announced today - Mrs Saleem, GP teacher, is leaving for School of Arts. Felt quite sad when I knew that I won't be taught by her next year. She's really a good and understanding teacher, who's the only teacher who allows us to eat as she understands that we need to eat somethings in order to have the energy to pay attention, or we'll be unable to focus for long. Because of her, I regain my confidence in writing good essay and do well in summary and AQ. Being systematic in her teaching, I'm able to understand the skills and logics needed in tackling GP. By the way, 0705, my class, topped the cohort in GP results! congrats us! Nonetheless, all the best for her future endeavours! Life's like that. Separation is sometimes inevitable. she said she cannot stay in NY, cuz it's a contract thingy... Life~

Webcammed and chatted with my "my dad's younger sister's son" just now.
Erm..what's my dad's sister's son is to me ar? cousin?? i dunnox... someone care to tell me? =x
He's somewhere in the continent of Europe now. Heard that he went there cuz of failed love relationship. >.< oh well...
Hope that he can bring me there one day. But need lots of $$$. The flight ticket price costs a bomb. Hope that I'm sponsored! hahax..

PW Oral presentation this Thurs. Haven't written my script yet, but know what I wanted to say. Just that a script can help me reduce the number of times of stuttering and the need to rephrase and structure my sentence in my brains before I speak it out... NY025, jia you!

Ooops. I'm hungry. Haven't had my dinner yet, at like 10+pm... o_O"

result slip

2007-10-22T21:37:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow is the day. Gonna receive promo result slip...

Firstly, I've to start with grumbling!

Guess what'll I do tmr in college?

Wake up at 5.21am to get ready for school. (it's the time i've experimented that the bus will arrive when I reach the bus stop)
Flag-raising at 7.40am.
WAIT TILL 11am for PRINCIPAL'S TALK
Take our promo exma slip and will be released at 12pm.

In a nutshell, tmr's purpose of me going to college will be for the principal only - to listen to his talk. An hour later, I can go home.

I'd choose to not go for the assembly if I can afford to. That, I'll be marked as 'late'. BUT, I've late for 2 times this semester. I can't be late anymore, or I'll be punished to commit myself for 4 additional hours of CIP. {=.="}

Wonder how I'll feel when receiving our result slip. Next year's 0705 may not be the same anymore. :\ Reality is cruel. After being together for only 8 months, we've already built a really strong class bonding within us. I daresay that this bond is the strongest I've had ever felt in terms of being as a class - much stronger than my primary and secondary classes. Yet, separation is imminent. We'll have to face it real soon~

nostalgia

2007-10-17T20:50:00.000+08:00

Friends Forever

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn't know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and you
And then we got real blue
Stay at home talking on the telephone
We would get so excited and we'd get so scared
Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels

[1] - As we go on We remember
All the times we Had together
And as our lives change Come Whatever
We will still be Friends Forever

So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels
[Repeat 1]

La, la, la, la:Yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la:
We will still be friends forever

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
[Repeat 1 (3x)]

nostalgia~

canon in D [:

2007-10-13T23:08:00.000+08:00

Added 'Canon in D'!
Play it!! lolx...

My sleep debt accumulated throughout this week, due to the need for me to wake up early and had to stay up till evening in college for the Open House's rehearsals. DAMN sleepy! -.-"
Yet to finish compensate the debt. Gonna compensate it tonight. Sleep as long as I want!

Woke up early today as I have to go Zhi Wei's houes for PW. Hate to wake up early (woke up at 8.40am) as I was still very sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy.
But no choice. her house is at SengKang. To be more precise, it's as Ranggung.
So, I will have to:
1)Take a bus to lakeside MRT
2)Take MRT from Lakeside to Outram Park
3)Transfer train. Take MRT from Outram Park to Sengkang.
3)Transfer to take LRT from Sengkang, and to Ranggung.
4)Walk a 5-min distance and finally reach her house.
Just the journey in MRT took around an hour. We planned to meet at 11am. how can I not wake up early then?

But it's all worthwhile. We finally managed to reduce 663 extra words. And our word count is 2937 words, if i'm not wrong. But we may add more stuffs so that the 63 words are not wasted.
Our WR, in a way, is DONE!

Our OP powerpoint slides are interesting! cuz of the nature of our topic: Changes in visual effects utilized in Films. So we can add movies posters and design some effects into our PPT. =]

LEP Project Work is up next. o_O''
This year's theme is 雪山飞狐. OMG. Have to self-study and evaluate it, so that we can introduce it to the other LEP and perhaps next year's sec 4 students.
sigh!

''why should we have hopes when most of them, if not all, are dashed at the end
of the day?''

=( horrendous promo results

2007-10-12T21:13:00.000+08:00

Was quite worried and anxious when i was about to recieve my promo results in the hall.
SIGH. Promo results are disappointing.
Didn't improve from my Mid-year at all. and my grades only worsen.

I failed Chem. ='(
Really disappointed, though I expect myself that i won't do well.
But it still made me sad. =(
Very demoralising.
Have I become dumb, or the paper is difficult?
And I think it's the former. cos people around me score high for Chem and most of them thought that Chem is the easiest subject.
But not to me. I disliked Chem since Sec 3... >.<>
t_t

CLL. On the dot, i pass. =.="
Those who know me will know that Chinese is one of the subjects that I can score in.
But it's no longer the case anymore.
I failed my Chinese Compo. A pathetic 16.5/35.
How strict the teachers are in marking~~~ =.="""
TERRIBLE!
Disappointment.
2nd time failing this year. [sob]

Pass my Math, GP and Bio. but, to me, they're not good passes.

Bio 20-mark Free Response Question is CRAZY!
Really!
I scored a real pathetic 2/20!!!! Break my record!
There are others getting 0 mark, and even NEGATIVE (eg. -1/20) marks!
Reason: never spell out NAD in full for every part question.
NAD: Nicotineamide Adenine Dinucleotide
So the teachers do not understand what is 'NAD', and thw whole answer is not accepted. That's how I get my 2 marks.
Teachers also deduct marks due to our paragraphing, that's how some people got marks deducted and some got negative marks.
Seriously, Bio department is, to me, damn rigid. sigh...

Math. Need one more, or just half a mark, to jump a grade. cos the teachers will round up when they key in the marks. Wasted.
But i'm really happy that I can still pass Math though, cos it's the subject I have little confidence in after the paper.

GP is my best subject. =.= >.<
Paper 1: The teacher commented that my essay is highly readable. But somehow, he/she didn't quite reflect this when giving my marks.
Paper 2: I scored zero for vocab. -.- But thanks to my summary for getting 10 marks over 8 marks (there're 2 bonus marks). Got 5/8 for AQ. And I got 29.5/50 and I'm satisfied with it. :]
But i still need to strive to get better results. there are my friends who score 36/50 [Woah!]...

After the release of the promo papers, it's time to prepare for Open House.
What a 'nice' arrangement when preparation for Open House is right after release of exam scripts.
Those who may retain naturally will not have the mood for Open House.
And me, too, do not quite have the mood after getting those terrible results.
But I have to act. yeah. So I endured and tried to control my sleepiness till 3.25pm when it's CCS's turn to perform at the atrium.
Thanks CCS and my class 0705 for their presence, cheering and support when CCS performs. And also my tutors Mr Goh and Ms Tan. =]
We perform in just a preparation of 3 days, including brainstorming for ideas on what to perform, and rehearsal. It's definitely not easy.
Received positive feedbacks and i'm quite contented, though I know there are rooms for improvements in my acting skills. but it will still be the best situation if i'm not involved in acting in any way. lolx....

Interestingly, I was more energetic after our performance and don't feel that sleepy anymore.
So i went to my class there. We're in-charge of game stall. And so I played. hahax...

Open House ended around 5.30pm, i think. and reached home around 7.10pm.
Kept thinking of my terrible promo results, and whether i'm capable of getting good resuls in 'A' level in my bus journey...
=\

It's been a long day.
And now, I'm sleepy. o_o```

after promos

2007-10-06T23:28:00.000+08:00

Life after promos is so so so much relaxing! =]
Imagine studying for the past 6 months +++ (from March to Sept), studied every single day... And finally, you can keep ALL the notes & NO NEED to touch them for quite a while!
Of course, the results do keep me worried.
But since there's no point worrying, i shall not worry then.
Will be getting back all the results on the coming Fri in the Hall.
Just hope that everything's FINE. (:

Intensive PW lessons from now on. If i'm not wrong, there'll be around 5 hours of PW lessons every day, till OP...??..... Sigh... i can imagine how bored it will be. But perhaps when crap a little with my group members, i may feel better and not as bored as i expect it to be.

Need to prepare for Open House on the comin Fri. Need to put up a 10 - 15 min play and we have to start everything from scratch.
Find a script, prepare souvenirs, prepare the booth, find and train the actors, coordinate with the various producton teams (lighting / props / costumes / make-up) bla bla bla...
All these to be done before the comin Fri.
Oh... how rush it is...
Gonna be busy with CCA stuff and no time for Bible Study by Lily. (FYI: not that i'm changing my religion or what; I'm a free thinker! hahax.. It's for personal interest sake and find out how everything we are experiencing now is explained by the God.)

Went to Chinatown family karaoke with sokteng, yanhong and yukai yesterday. and went to Vivo after that, to eat and browse the shops... Tiring... but definitely better than mugging...

Today went to yukai's condo. yukai and yanhong went to swim. after that, went to yanli's house. engtong, yanli, yanhong & yukai played majong in the warm living room, while me searching for suitable script for the coming college Open Hous in the air-con room. haha xD...
Must find something by hook or by crook. And luckily, i found something that is 'okay', and I generate ideas based on the original plot and modify, so that it will be better suit our theme of 《高中生活的乐趣》. though my first question was ''Is there even '乐趣' in JC?'' LOL...
The result of the majong was that engtong was the big winner and the other 3 had to treat him dinner. and i have nothing to do with it. lolx... and we went IMM for our dinner...

Seriously, we need to go out and relax and have fun, especially after the stressful exam periods.
To compensate for our hard work and the efforts put into getting good results.
We're not nerds =.=
Unless the person have no life.... haha...

Unfortunately, time passed really fast indeed.................
In a blink of an eye, it's time to prepare for 'A' level Oral Presentation.
And after that, have to attend normal lessons till the the start of end-of-year holiday (same as when the primary school kids start their holidays)
No longer the same as in sec sch when holiday starts in Nov. =/
Reason given by my math tutor, ''There's no logic when JC students can be freed when the sec students are having their GCE 'O' level.''

o_O''

towards the end of promo

2007-10-01T23:54:00.000+08:00

2 more papers left (Chem and Bio MCQ) to the end of promo.
last paper will be on this coming thurs!
But i seem to have declared end of promos to myself... x_x"
NO. will still practise MCQs! =]

Bio P2 today. Disappointed with myself. Didn't memorise well for some facts. SIgh~
Since it's over. no point brooding over it anymore righ....

Felt a sense of uncertainty about how well i did for the promo.
that's an omen? hope not.
whatever will be, will be.
as long as i'd put in my best......
and do hope miracles happen o_O''

Anyway, exam is not everything in life, got this idea from a short movie I watched this afternoon
"15 year old's blues" led by Tegoshi Yuya who acted as Kouhei. (hope the names are spelt correctly.)
Kouhei faced difficulties in learning and he gave up on studying,
until he met his new, 11th, sensei, who influenced him and Kouhei finally had the motivation to study, to do his sensei and his family proud.
Finally, still, he did not make it into his desired school with his grade.
But he passed his exam.
Sensei told him to believe in himself. It is what that influence Kouhei to work hard, and finally manage to get a pass.
Though unable to get into desired school, sensei told Kouhei to continue to live on...
And Kouhei did.

That's just a very brief summary on the plot of the short movie... about 1 hour...
Watch it at crunchyroll if you're interested. =)

Hmmm.... should i take H3 chinese offered by NUS?
indeed, a rare opportunity, and only 50 vacancies available.
No idea.

Will by flying to Taiwan in Dec for 15 days for a study-cum-immersion programme! hahax...

That's all for this entry.
*vanish*

promos in 10 days' time

2007-09-14T20:56:00.000+08:00

Promos in less than 10 days! JIA YOU!!! =]

To all graduating secondary students (in particular) and you,

Nanyang Junior College Open House

Date: 12th October 2007, Friday

Time: 2pm - 5pm

Venue: Nanyang Junior College {duh =.= lolx}

All are invited! =D
Attractive prizes to be won when you join our games and competitions. :)

For any enquries, please feel free to contace me via phone/sms/tagboard/anyone who knows me and ask them to ask me! hahax...
You may want to visit the college website (<---- P.S. click on website). (: (Just helping to do some promotion. xp)

Life's been indeed stressful yet fun every day. Realise that I laugh more often recently. HAHAHA.... =D
Audrey's chinese name is "Orderly"! LOLX... laugh till like having asthma...

Anyway, you can help save the Earth by using a more environmentally-friendly search engine: Blackle (<---- click on it!) !!!
Blackle.com - Saving energy one search at a time

Shdn't stay long here... vanish...

complexity of life

2007-09-08T23:33:00.000+08:00

'Emo'. Many people do emo at times, and i can easily say out few names from my class who emo. and i myself is one of them but i think it is not known to many, if not none. cos i dun show it... I daresay all poets emo very often, evident from the poems and song-cis I study during Literature lessons, when they used metaphors, personification bla bla bla...which we will need to evaluate during tests and exams. v_v" People emo because they feel for something very much, spiritually and emotionally. Sometimes the feeling is so deep and they are so engaged that they even shut themselves off from the external environment and live in a world as if they are the only ones living, too involved in their thoughts to bother about any other things. It may seem foolish. Nonetheless, personally, I feel that it does help us reflect about that 'something', and ask ourselves 'why do I care so much for?', even though many times there will not be any definite answers arrived to one in the end when you are finally back to living in the real world.

There's a void in my heart that need to be filled up so that my life is complete. The feeling is annoying, seriously. And I did spend some time to reflect, many times. And everytime I came to the conclusion that I should act and strive to achieve it lest I regret for my whole life. And I did. I did start to put my thoughts into actions, dropping hints and hope that they could be understood, as well as for me to verify if my conjecure is true, so that I can be confident in making my last, final, most important move to realise my dream. But life is never a smooth-sailing one. There were times that made me feel that my conjecture is true, though, which I felt really delighted. However, there were also times that I felt disappointed due to the fact that the responses I received had not been the way it should be if my conjecture is true. There are contradictions. And I felt that I am stuck, whether should I continue to find out the truth or to give up. There had never been a definite conclusion that I can come to, never.

That makes me think about the complexities of life and us, humans, highly evolved species since millions years ago. Can't life be much simpler? I doubt so. And I think that life can have no upper limit in getting more complex that ever. And this brings my mind to dwell in my childhood when it was so relaxing and carefree, nothing stressful and all that I was supposed to do was to play with my toys, run about the house or the playground, sleep for as long as I wanted to, and this routine repeated itself the following days. Life then was just so beautiful. It was much so simpler then. Everything that you said then was exactly what you want to express. But that was just a facade to real life. Sometimes whatever we say now is never always what that comes out from out hearts. There is the element of pretence in it. And I shan't elaborate as we all know the real image of life. And what makes life so stressful and difficult? I think is humans, the highly evolved species who have unlimited wants, who always want to compete with one another to be the first in everything, who have the pride too great to swallow... ... ...

How ironic! In the end, it is ourselves to be blamed that cause us to land in such a pathetic state of living. And I guess it is the price we have to pay and the sacrifice we have to make for being so highly intelligent relative to other species.

Perhaps the way humans act and behave do not allow us to see through and undestand fully how one is feeling. One may be feeling empty and depressed but he/she shows that he/she has nothing to worry and is feeling happy. Or one may loathe another person but he/she still treats the person nice on the surface, but deep down he/she has the strong feeling of hatred, yet he/she continues to act hypocritically. Of course there are more kinds of such pretentious acts. That's the sad thing of most humans, if not all: not wanting to show the inner true feelings so that everything could be simpler. A consequence of the rat race we are all in?

After my most recent reflection, I thought that me decision should be to give up, and my conjecture has had been a most laughable joke, and that it's time, finally, for me to get myself out of the dream, and to start a brand new life without the need to guess and worry about the thing that has bothered me for quite a long time, and perhaps to start to find a new goal in life. And that the new goal can be anything, can even be something that may ruin my life, as long as it can make me forget about the heartbreaking past, or to bring about regrets when my new kind of life is made known, or simply just to show that I'm still living fine.

Yet, after all the decision-making and the envisagement of the future, I may still unable to give it up. The feeling may rekindle.

But who knows?

.
.
.

sept holiday

2007-09-03T17:48:00.000+08:00

Just a quick, short entry...

It's September holiday! can wake up late! yay!

But not today when I woke up at 6.20am. I'd set my alarm clock at 6.45am but my Mum thought I'd forget to set alarm clock and was afraid that I'd be late, so she woke me up while I was still dreaming about somthing, which I had forgotten waht was it about, but was regarding something which I yearned to find out more and now I dunno what it was. =.= Anyway, I had Chem lesson for 2 hours! And teacher, Mr Ong Jiun Hoe, was late for 40 minutes! v_v'''

Less than 20 days left to promos. I want to do revision! But before that, I want to complete ALL my CLL assignments. Add oil ... ...

Finished reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows 2 days ago! Many people felt that the ending is lame, but personally, I think it's not bad la. Last chapter - Nineteen Years Later - is filled with Love, something that Voldemort knows not. Anyway, I maligned Severus Snape for betraying the Order of the Phoenix, which, the truth, is that he had been loyal to the Order all the time. Albus, I'm referring to Harry's and Ginny's younger son, is cute when he is so scared of being sorted to the Slythern's House. Haha.. His full name I think, is Albus Severus Potter. Having the 2 former Headmasters of Hogwarts, Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape, as his name is indeed cool! Well, these are just some of the reflections and opinions I have after reading the book.

Also finished watching 换换爱 already! Ending is good too! The last episode is really saddening. Anyway, think Yang Cheng Ling and Mike He ought to be real-life couple. Feel that they are very compatible, and they have fun bickering with each other. Have placed order to ask Susi to buy the DVD at only $20. hahax... A good and worth-watching show! =]

Naruto Shippuden: Sakura and Chiyo finally beat Sasori! Sakura is really strong, unlike the past! She's changes so much! =]

Alright, shall stop here. byeee..... =p

another Fri~

2007-08-24T21:44:00.000+08:00

It's Friday! finally can take a short break...

Survived the many tests this week. Oh well, GP compre is --- sigh --- got to learn to paraphrase correctly and quickly - a lesson i learn from the test. Chem SPA is alright, but missed a short point but well, that's alright =] Math test (Functions and Differentiation), well, dunno how i'll fare. Better not have any hopes, whatever will be will be. Supposed to have Chi Lit test but as the teacher needs to teach 茶馆 fast as there isn't much time left, it is postponed to anytime before Wed next week and we'll decide ourselves when to do with time given 1 hour.

Got back GP reasoning test which tests us on common sense / logic thinking and i scored 46.5/50! At least it helps to pull up my marks for GP. Looonnnggg time never get above 90% for a test or exam already! By the way, I think my GP teacher Mrs Saleem is really one of the best and most understanding teacher I've ever met. She truly understand the difficult lives we're facing as JC students as the schedule is real hectic and at times make you unable to have time to even breathe properly. Everyone is mugging hard for tests and the coming promos. As the Subject Head for GP, I can see that she trys to reduce the number of tests for GP. So far, we have only 2 compo tests, 1 compre test and the reasoning test. And I think the workload for GP is just right. Unlike other subject such as Bio, giving many tutorial questions but only gives us a relatively short time only and expecting us to complete them. We have tutorials for other subjects too and they seem not to bother about our workload at all... Mrs Saleem is really empathetic =] Once we did not do our summary, she asked who didn't do and out of her surprise, many of us raised our hands. She always thought that we are good students and she told us that our class is the best class out of the 3 classes that she teach. She said, ''Okay, it's alright. We are all humans. But don't let this happen too often.'' She is the only teacher who understand that we are humans and that we are never really always perfect in accomplising all tasks I've ever met in my more than 10 years of education, unlike others who will just scold and nag ... Felt so fortunate to be in her class =]

Will DEFINITELY complete my 2 Chinese Compo this weekend! (to ensure I'll do by writing definitely .. lolx) You know what? I've owed them for almost 1 month since the assignment was given on, what, 30/7/2007! oh well ...

Did horribly terrible for my CA. It's just horrendous! Even I myself have no face to look at the terrible results of the test papers! =( Must buck up for the Promos! a must! hope my wish come true! Desperately need people to coach me! hmmm..... =/

It's Teachers' Day celebration next Fri. The Student Council organised it and we will be having a so-called picnic with our CTs on the field while watching performance. All our food are almost all purple - ribena, blueberry cake etc - as both our CTs like purple. haha......

Went to NTU for an interactive conversation by Mr Ng How Wee (nyjc teacher, UFM 100.3 DJ and also is an author) and Royston Tan (the director of the movie 881). Royston shared with us who are the LEP students and the NTU students about the purposes of certain ways to showcase the movie. For example, Qi Yu Wu always wear singlets as the singlets once belonged to his Dad, whom he had not always been close till his Dad passed away, it is to show that Qi Yu Wu still wants to have some way of connection with his Dad, and also this will show that Qi Yu Wu is a simple guy. Although he has never spoken in the entire move, it is not because he is deaf or mute which many people had thought so, there are other reasons. It can be known that he is neither deaf nor mute when he drives. One funny thing is when one person aske, ''Why is the chicken white?'' It is in fact because there is only white chicken available then! and that the chicken has now retired already! LOLz.... It's an interesting conversation. And I felt compelled to watch 881 after knowing his different ways to bring out his story. hahaha....

Watched 换换爱 ep 12 and Naruto Shippuden ep 26. Looking forward to next episode! No time to watch my Harry Potter and I've only read till page 286, The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore. Slow eh... cos I only read 3 chapters every week in the night. Seriously no time....

Anyway, I'm proud to say that I am from Jurong Secondary School! hahax... PM Lee praised JSS for its outstanding performance in its teaching methods - Teach Less Learn More (TLLM). Great job, JSS (Ms Tham the principal, and the teachers and juniors)! [Miss secondary school time ... (:]

Okay, I shall stop here. It's a looonnnggg entry.
Byeeee.... xp

intensive tests

2007-08-18T15:52:00.000+08:00

Stressed up.
Tests and spa for ALL the subjects I'm studying. GP test, Math lecture test and Chem SPA on this Tues. Bio test on Wed and Chi Lit test on Fri. Crazy~ Indeed, Wk 8 and 9 of Term 3 in JC 1 are one of the most stressful periods as time-management and memorization play their very important roles. humph.... It's less than 38 days to Promos. Stress is building up... Promos results will determine whether you can be promoted to J2 or not as the weightage is 60%. It is the determining factor of your promotional status.

JC life poses challenges every day almost without fail. In order to survive, one will need to have a be strong both mentally and physically. Mentally strong cos you have to bear with the very hectic and stressful life, or you'll break down eventually. Physicallystrong cos you'll need to have the energy to sit for at least 3 hours for an exam paper, and perhaps have to stay till quite late in college and may have to attend many consecutive hours of lessons every day. It can be tiring.

Bad news for me for my Promos time-table. First day of promo: Final submssion of Eom. GP P1 and GP P2 exams, followed by CLL P2 exam which ends only at 5pm! Next day is Math. The day after next is Chem P2/3. Where the h*** do i find time to practise Math? And CLL P2 is a Lit component, it'll difinitely be tiring after the paper as my hands have to write continuously and brain has to keep on thinking what to write, or one will not be able to finish. Then how am I supposed to survive for Math the next day? aaarrrgggghhhh..... esp when i live that far. Sigh, that's life and that's fate. Need to pracitice my math every day... Hope I can still be able to clear the promos. Hope my wish come true :)
Anyway, Chi Lit teachers will be teaching 茶馆 next week. haiz... what i hope not to happen is gonna happen next week. meaning more to memorise for promo... =/

Watched 换换爱 ep 11. nice and sweet. hahax. =] And also Naruto Shippuden ep 25. Sakura is cool! Looking forward to the next episode.

Alright, no time to waste though i think that i'll still find time to slack a bit. lol
byee ... .... .....

S.H.E. 's 再别康桥 MV (= A nice song! =p

National Day eve '07

2007-08-08T20:53:00.000+08:00

Was damn zonked out this morning when i woke up from my bed and off the alarm of my phone. DAMN TIRED. I could tell my body really need more sleep. i'm that tired was due to the past 2 days' night study in college. Reached home at 12.10am on Mon and 10.50pm on Tues. Hence insufficient sleep. And I couldn't walk steadily, i walked like a drunkard, walking diagonally left and right. =_="

Need to stand longer than usual in sedia position as there's National Day celeration's procedures to follow where the commander and the flag-bearers had to do many things before the 1st part of the national day celebrations ended. The 2nd part was a concert in the hall. The superstars finalists Nat and Javin (shd be like that spell) sang 末日之恋 together and then Nat sang 爱爱爱 solo. cool! After the concert ended, went to LT 3 for the farewell of the J2 LEP. After that, my cca CCS brought the Indonesian students to Bugis to introduce them the culture of Singapore. Well, since we are chinese CULTURAL society.

Because of my packed schedule, I couldn't meet my bio tutor to go though my Bio mock SPA. Haiz, need to go back to college on Sat 9am then. =/

After bidding goodbyes to the Indonesian students, I went to Bugis street wanting to buy a bag. Then thought of going to the Nike warehouse sale in Kovan, so decided to go to the warehouse sale before deciding whether or not to buy the bag. Unfortunately, none suits my preferance. In the end, I bought a top before I went home. I can't go there which is really far away and go home empty-handed right? lolz.. so i told myself that i must buy something or it's a waste of time and efforts.

No materials to evaluate for EoM! really pathetic! by hook or by crook, i must produce an EoM before Sunday as Mon is the deadline. Anyway, it's only Version 1. Still, gonna put in my best.

Lots of tests and SPAs in the next 2 weeks before the end of Term 3. sigh¬ That's jc life. Dunno how we'll pull through the tough period but somehow we'll be able to pull through them. Just have to do it and they will be over soon. =/

天上人间

一般滋味在心头

let's recall what's happened

2007-08-05T00:40:00.000+08:00

It's 50 days left to Promos! so the time span from mid-year to promos is only 3 months. won't blog too often anymore (hopefully). cos i'm not smart enough to achieve what i desire and what is expected of us from college. work smart is what i have to do. fast and consistent, that's what the teachers in secondary school told us while preparing for 'O' level. now, after one year, i've to do what i did last year, in preparation for promos which accounts for 60% of overall grades. it does make a HUGE difference. i daresay that what's been taught now and the amount of content to be tested are already more that that required for 'O' level. and the demands are much greater.

GP will test on an argumentative essay, and compre whereby all questions require paraphrasing, or 0 mark is awarded. =\ paraphrase ... ... ...
Math: Functions, graphing techniques, AP/GP, MI, Summation, Inequalities, Differentiation, Maclaurin's series and Vectors
Biology: cell structure, enzymes, nuclear division (mitosis, meiosis), DNA replication, transcription, translation, variation, respiration and photosynthesis
Chem: Stoichiometry, atomic structure, chemical bonding, gaseous state, energetics, kinetics, chemical equilibria, electrochemistry and alkanes
CLL: At least 5 唐诗, 5 宋词, 2 新诗 and 2 小说 for literature component. a very high possibility that teacher will teach one more 新诗（再别康桥）or 小说（最宝贵的） or both after teaching the second 新诗（海魂), hope don't teach 茶馆 yet though it is included in the content page that e teacher sent thru litespeed...... And 寓言三则, 陋室铭, 五柳先生传, 岳阳楼记 and an essay for language component. (btw, i'm starting to like 岳阳楼记! though i may have a hard time memorising cos it's quite long. =/)
Wish me luck!

Took a taxi to college on Fri with huey jia, susi and liying. 4 of us live in the west side so we thought of taking a taxi on Fri together since it is the last day of the week and we would be tired having to wake up early in the morning. so we met 6.45am at Chinese Garden MRT station. Guess what, we'd been flagging for a taxi from 6.45am to 7.25am before we finally could get a taxi and travel to college. Most taxis were hired. So that's why. And it totally defeats the purpose of us deciding to take a taxi to college as we were late, when we reached at 7.50am. It cost us $19.40 some more. =.= That will be my first and last time taking a taxi to college. I can't be late anymore as I've been late for twice. or my parents will be called. haix... I was late twice is because that was Mondays and college starts at 8.45am, so I could sleep longer. The thing is the bus always reached the college only at 8.50am, that therefore made me late, twice. >.<

Didn't clear my DNA and Genomics test. that's pretty sad. CA is pulling my overall grades down! why huh? why is it that I could pass my mid-year but not my tests? gonna do my best not to let this phenomenon carry on! have to do well in all... yea...

Night study with Au Yeong and Huey Jia on Fri night in college. that's my first time doing night study in college. did night study in secondary school and it was quite productive then, so decided to try night study in college and see how it is. well, it is quite productive too as you're able to focus and without distractions. As usual, crapped and gossiped with them, and I found out more rumours, gossips and unexpected news from them. lolx...
Just perhaps the day which i decide to do night study clashed with the Film Fest, making the night a noisy one for me. Au Yeong and Huey Jia 'abandoned' me as they suddenly decided to want to go watch the Film Fest. lolz... jkjk... told them that I dun mind.. yanli msg me to go for dinner at JP but I've planned to have the night study, so yea, can't go for the dinner... Left college around 8.10pm and it took a shorter time (50 min) to reach home at night than in the afternoon (average of 70 - 75 min).

Have been enjoying PE since Term 3 as we are not training gor NAPFA but learning to play rugby and tennis. Rugby is FUN! though is makes us muddy. I wonder if rugby players are supposed to collect mud in the field. Contact rugby is indeed rough, but it's still fun! I think I nearly break my left arm while trying to slow down an opponent by grabbing his waist and tried to make him fall down to the ground. At the moment when I ran to grab the opponent's waist, one person from the same team also ran towards the opponent to make him fall down to the field, supposed to aid me in making the person fall down. He (my team mate) rushed towards the opponent and banged to my left arm, making my joints in my arm to forcefully bend in the opposite manner. and my left arm felt a sharp pain. My joint hurts and I felt numb for a few minutes before it's better. In that few minutes, I imagined if I'll become paralysed in my left arm, if my nerves are still working and what will happen to me if my left arm couldn't work forever anymore. =.=''' Rugby is, after all, a rough and violent sport. Some people say that sport acts as a medium for people to exhibit their aggresiveness in a legalised manner, and I find it quite true for some sports. For tennis, I learnt the correct way to hit the tennis ball, that is to brush the ball to the opposite court instead of hitting the ball directly, though I never able to brush the ball correctly every time. also learnt how to hold the racket. PE lessons have been fruitful in learning new sports. the PE teachers are nice too. =]

Haven't got the time to watch 换换爱 ep 9 and the latest naruto shippuden yet. Maybe watching them early in the morning tmr. and spend the afternoon to clear my CLL homework and do some revision. CLL is making me crazy once again. 2 language essays and 1 lit essay left undone. Dun think that i'll clear all the 3 essays but will try to write some words so that less will need to be done in the future. lol... And have to do Variation tutorial... haish....

Math lecture test (Functions and Differentiation) and Chem lecture test (Energetics, kinetics and equilibria) in 2 weeks' time. Bio SPA in 3 weeks' time. Chem SPA and Bio lecture test (Mitosis and meiosis) in 4 weeks' time.

jia you ba~

嗟夫！何哉？人生惟空自凭吊？何时而乐耶？噫！吾谁分忧？

晏几道《鹧鸪天》

2007-07-27T23:46:00.000+08:00

《鹧鸪天》晏几道

彩袖殷勤捧玉钟，当年拚却醉颜红。舞低杨柳楼心月，歌尽桃花扇底风。

从别后，忆相逢，几回魂梦与君同，今宵剩把颍钢照，犹恐相逢是梦中。

thinking of you ... :)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1 wk after i'm sick

2007-07-27T22:11:00.000+08:00

it's another friday. fall sick last week, with a record high fever for me of 39.3 degree Celsius. I was really feeling awful. My head was spinning, with the high amount of heat in my body. I even imagined that my enzymes are reacting at a slower rate than usual since they are in a condition not in their optimum state. I even thought about if my brain would be too 'hot' such that I may become retarded soon. Well, you don't think properly and will start to imagine things when you have a high fever and bad headache. Wanna thank my family members who have cared and taken care of me meticulously when i was really sick and suffering so much of the pain. =)

Gotten back my mid-year result slip. Quite satisfied but definitely want to be even better =] hope my wish come true :)

Helped out in the Translation Competition held by our college, which will bbe tomorrow. The Chinese Department organized it and all taking H2 CLL are to help out either as ushers, receptionists, back-stage/logistics, emcees or hosts. My role is to press a device to show the marks scored by the participants. cool! lolx...

Have to move 6 tables from canteen to outside of LT4. That's quite a walking distance and a long flight of steps. Me and Jun Jie were the only 2 guys left to carry them as the other 2 had things to attend to. It was near 7pm and the teachers were very caring and nice to us. As it was parent-meeting session tonight, they were busy and left this job to us. They let us have the free food provided primarily for the parents and those night-studying students. and they ensured that we have enough food by serving us! not only that, the teacher gave us serviettes and treat us a can of chrysanthemum drink each! wah, touched by her. thank you, teacher! Well, working with the Chinese Department teachers for two rehearsals sessions made me think that all the chinese teachers are really nice. glad and fortunate to have the batch of nice teachers in the college. =]

About the carrying 6 tables with Jun Jie, there's a small part where it is really hilarious. As we are almost zonked out carrying those tables, which are indeed heavy, we tried different methods carrying the tables and experimented out which method required the least energy, or seemed to us that less energy is required. We tried one way, suggested by Jun Jie, that instead of carrying the tables in the conventional way (which is one carry one breadth of the table while the other person carry the other breadth), we tried carrying the lengths. So it's like we are carrying and walking sideways, with out heads turning 90 degrees to look at the front while carrying the table. I felt it was really a strange method of carrying a table as i never see anybody carried a table the way like ours. I expressed to Jun Jie the strangeness I felt but can't really describe what is the strange as, after all, it's just a new or unconventional way of carrying a table. Jun Jie felt strange too and he described it as if we are dancing Tango! HAHAHA! That was really the right description man! carrying a table, walking sideway and with our heads turning 90 degrees... it just like we are dancing tango! I laughed, and cannot stop for a while. it's really a funny description or analogy. LOL!

Finished watching latest episodes of naruto: shippuden and huan huan ai (:
Reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Gonna start reading the chapter on The Wedding soon~

Hope my weekends will be fruitful and will use it wisely! lol... xp

sick...arrggghhh....

2007-07-20T22:28:00.000+08:00

Every Friday is both a good and bad day for me. It's good because it is the last day of the week, which means that weekend is coming. It's bad as I have to endure the long consecutive hours of lessons. 8am - 9am is Bio lecture, followed by half an hour break. Then here comes the endurance race...
9.30-10.30 Chem lecture;
10.30 - 11.30 Math tutorial;
11.30 - 12. 30 GP;
12.30 - 1.30 CLL;
1.30 - 2.30 Xtra Bio tutorial. =.=
It's 5 hours of consecutive lessons with no breaks in between this 5 hours at all. & u have to travel around the school to the venues of the lesson. I'll always feel hungry and lethargic during this 5 hours. Besides this, I have to wait till 4pm for PE lesson which lasts till 5pm before I can go home.

Fall sick. Headache, fever, cough, then felt cold... I've the feeling that I'll fall sick while waiting for PE. Think it must be due to playing touch and grab rugby in the rain on Wed. It's not my choice to play in the rain. I'd choose not to play rugby in the rain if i can. It's the teacher who did not let us off even though when it startedd to drizzle which later became heavier, before he decided to let us off. But seriously, playing rugby in the rain is indeed qute cool. The whole body is wet. lolx... Though it made me fall sick, it's an expeience to play rugby in the rain. We played grab rugby, meaning we have to grab the opponents' back and chest, before they gave up a chance to have the possession of the rugby. so my point is: you will hav to do lots of body contact when you play rugby. hahax...
Perhaps stress plays a part in making me fall ill too. GP test on tues and Bio lecture test on wed next week. Hopefully I'll score decently well grades =)
Hope I get well soon. Have to!

Wed learn rugby, whereby we will proceed on to learn contact rugby soon which is more 'violent'. Fri afternoon PE learn tennis. So it's not true that you need not attend afternoon PE if you passed NAPFA. -.-"

Saw my ranking of my CLL. Out of 88 candidates who took H2 CLL mid-yr exam, I ranked the 16th position. it may not seem very well but i was quite satisfied =] It's not like rank no.1, followed by 2, 3, 4, ...
As some people score the same percentage, the ranking becomes no.1,1 followed by 3, 3, 3, 3, then 7, 7, 9, 10, 10, 10, 13, .... bla bla bla... So i'm not too bad compared to the cohort la.. haha... The top 2 who scored A grade are from China from another class. Hmmm.. I'll have to buck up (:

Will be getting mid-yr result slip soon. luckily have no obligation to trouble my parents to go over to college to meet the CT since I never failed any subject. phew~ Wonder what my remarks will be.... lol..

From now on, i'll try to do at least half of my tutorials myself and copy the rest, unlike last time when I copied all. haha... Less than 65 days to first paper of Promo, and TYS will be my close friends for this period of time =] Hope my wish come true :)

boring saturday

2007-07-14T17:58:00.000+08:00

Studied for 3 hours and online for another 3 hours. It's another boring day in my life.

Reality is such. I know it long ago. How I wish to be able to live in my ideal world, a world without any worries at all. Something's just missing in my life, or my life won't be so monotonic almost every day. It's pretty sad to live lifeless-ly. Even I do pity myself at times. what's wrong with me? Grrrr... so confused and angry with myself. it's my life and yet i don't know how to live it to the fullest. dumb isn't it? i don't exactly know what i want in life. sad eh... for now, at least i know that to do well in studies is a goal for me. but other than this, what else? what else? i detest growing up, getting older and having to face the complexity and ugliness of reality. How I admire Peter Pan!!!!!!!! the boy who will never grow up! i want to go back to my childhood. there's no stress for me to handle. there's so much fun. it's so much simplistic then. unlike the situation i'm in now, this very moment. watching kids playing and running about evokes a sense of nostalgia. how i miss those times. it seems so far away from me. the future is so unexpectable. everything is a facade. and i'm left with no choice but to carry on living in this cold-blooded, complicated and cynical world. till the day i die.
[& i realise that i use 3 Cs to describe this world]

Peter Pan cartoon

Peter Pan movie actor Jeremy Sumpter

Don't wanna grow up ...

B for Bio!

2007-07-13T18:19:00.000+08:00

I got a B grade for Bio, not C anymore. haha... That's because the percentage for the structured paper is reduced such that it is equivalent to that of 'A' level and thus raise my overall results. And I'm quite proud to say that I am one of the 5 % in the cohort who get a B grade. 4% get A grade. No idea for C, D, E and S. But 22% got a U grade. \=

Tests for this term:
1) GP essay test on Wk 5
2) Bio test (DNA & Genomics) on Wk 6??
3) Chem test (Energetics, Rxn Kinetics ,and Equilibria) on Wk 8 (15 Aug)
4) Bio SPA (Skill B and C) and Chem SPA (Skill C and D) on Wk 8-9

It's weekend and I am going to mug as much as I can! And also do notes for Math, Bio, Chem, and CLL (in the order of priority)! If possible, gonna do a bank of vocabulary words and good expressions in an exercise book to improve my GP. Well, hopefully I will do them and not only just say which is of a large probability. LoLz~ =.="

Gonna watch Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix next Tuesday! hee :D
Next Tuesday will be an early day for me as it will be 'A' level MT Listening Comprehension which I do not have to take since I'm not taking H1 Chinese. yeah... hahax...

Alright, shall stop here. till then, tata! [>.<]

mid-year results

2007-07-12T21:29:00.000+08:00

After getting GP and Bio today, I know all my grades for all subjects already. No A or B. That's pretty sad, especially for subjects such as GP and Bio when 1 more mark are required to achieve that B; and 1.5% more marks (3 marks) for CLL to get B. So my GP, CLL, Bio and Math got C; Chem got a D. Happy and relaxed that I did not fail any subject and have improved from tests; on the other hand, not quite satisfied with myself as I know I could do even better. I realized that it is not Mid-year that is pulling my overall marks down, it is instead CA marks which is 25% of the overall marks at the end of the year. I did badly for CA (assignments and tests). Mid-year is only 15%. How I wish the percentages of mid-year and CA can swop. -.-"

This week is so-called PW week where the first 3 hours for each day are specially allocated for us to draft our Written Report. WR is 40% of our PW marks, thus WR is really important and that's why the school allocated so much time for us. Since our class is drafting WR together in a air-con cosy classroom (lol), it also promotes class spirit and bonding. We laughed at one another, and enjoyed the freedom we have since no tutor is supervising us. Especially when we got to know an incident which is extremely unlikely to happen.

It's 74 days left to first paper of Promotional Exam, that is GP. Have to start preparing for it now. SPAs and tests are coming up. EoM will need to be done soon. After Promos, have to start working on OP and finally I&R. All these will have to be completed before my J1 curriculum is officially over. Hope my wish will come true. Jia You! :)

"I never imagine you are such person. Please do not talk behind other people's backs. Do not creat unnecessary misunderstandings. It is selfish and childish. Sooner or later, you will find that there will be less people talking to you if your acts carry on, and it is really sad indeed when you have no real friends. What you did make people think that you are hypocrytical which is seriously irritating."

1ooTH p0st ... colorgenics

2007-07-06T17:36:00.000+08:00

My 100th post. Haha. Don't have to celebrate, yea...

Firstly, I wanna show a video which is damn cute! Credit: audrey.
A lil gal who said, "WhAteVeR!"
Watch it!!! Must! haha...

Cute right? (=

Got back my Math paper. and got a C grade of 55.5%. for me, i think it's not bad given the fact that i self-studied the first 3 months stuffs (AP/GP, Summation, Binomial Theorem and Mathermatical Induction, and the lectutes for these topics were almost useless as they literally rushed through...), and manage to get some of these questions right. careless for 1 question. but the rest were questions which i really did not know how to do, so i was quite satisfied with myself, but i do know that i have to clear those questions which i dunno and bridge the gap asap. [:

After that, it's 4 hours from 9am to 1pm for us to do Written Report outline. and our group has almost finished the outline, except for the bibliography which we'd forgotten to take down the titiles of books and the websites and we'll be going to National Library tomorrow to look for those books again, as well as to do more research. jia you!

Found a link from tzelin's blog. By just clicking 8 colours, it tells alot about you, and it's very true for me. The analysis for me is:

You are the sort of person that needs a peaceful environment. (lolx.. who doesn't want peace? :p) You seek release from stress and freedom from conflicts and disagreements, of which you seem to have had more than your fair share. But you are taking pains to control the situation by proceeding cautiously and you are right in doing so as you are a very sensitive person. (yeap.)

Of late, everything seems to be going so slowly - far slower than you anticipated - and this is causing you much anxiety and frustration. It would appear that there is little you can do about the series of events that now seem to be taking place. In spite of the fact that you feel like 'giving up' - don't. Take a deep breath and start over again and you will find that eventually the expression 'All's well that ends well' will have an extra special meaning for you. (yea... perhaps it's abt my academia which I've quite high expectations for myself... or others ... ... ...)

You give the impression that you are a self-sufficient individual (do I?? hahx), pretending that you are stoical - indifferent to pain or pleasure. But this is not so, for in truth you are an extremely emotional person (haha.. i agree.. xp), one that may make hasty decisions (sometimes I do) and perhaps repent at leisure (yup, I do..) . It is time now perhaps to break the bond of detachment and become the real 'you' - the you that you would like to be.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful (definitely!)and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full (Yeah!). You therefore resent any restriction or limitations (yes.) that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.

You wish to be left in peace... no more conflict and no more differences of opinion. In fact you just don't want to be involved in arguments of any shape or form. All you want is for 'them' to get on with it - and to leave you alone.